Appy Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 (edited) ~ this ties directly into an older poem called Trust .. Not sure if this is finished yet, but there isn't much more to add or change at the moment.. enjoy ~The smile besides mecrossed oceans ofbarren wastelandin a single lookTo trust, nayto utterly trustjust a single personIt is close to having faith..No more compromisesleaving me dwindled.This time, there mighteven be an answer,to who I am.. [29 januari 2007, Leverkusen] [edit] the line It is close to having faith.. used to be underlined.. removed in accordance with Sweet's comment Edited October 20, 2014 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 Hmm...nice. It's got a sweet flow in it, almost as a river softly babbling along I'm not sure if I understand entirely why that one sentence is underlined, it seems too harse now compared with the other words, maybe italic instead? Either way, an enjoyable read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted January 29, 2007 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 (edited) You know, you're right.. it does look too harsh now. I had it underlined still to keep referring to Trust. But here it's just not necessary. I think I'll just take out the underlining and see what happens Thanks for the comment! *huggles happily* Edited January 29, 2007 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted January 29, 2007 Report Share Posted January 29, 2007 *points right back at Thingy and embraces them together to create Stuff with an equal smile* There is; just live it. No fear, just love, and grandma Death on the sideline Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Nice poem, Appy. :-) The message and feeling that you put behind it are very strong, and the positive feel of the poem is refreshing. In terms of potential things to improve, the line "It is close to having faith" felt a little extraneous to me in its own seperate stanza. The comparison of a strong relationship to a faith is fascinating, and expanding upon that line or incorporating it into the other stanzas somehow might be a means of improving its impact on the poem as a whole. Also, the manner that the lines are spaced in the last stanza didn't maintain the positive tone of the rest of the piece to me, mainly due to the singling out of "leaving me dwindled" in the second line. Anyway, nice stuff once again Appy. Thanks for sharing it here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regel Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 An enjoyable read Appy. It put a new spin on a famous quote for me. The quote is : “Faith is not belief without proof, but trust without reservation." Faith really is all about trust, being in a committed relationship feels just like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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