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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Tobacco Schools You


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Characters:

Alexa(Lexi, Lexa):Wild, crazy, willing to try pretty much anything at least once.

Jack: Quiet, unless with Lexa. Then, he's just as loud, wild, and crazy.

Narrator

Rose: Lexa's more realistic friend. A real push-over.

Travis: Stupid teenage boy with the attention span/memory of a goldifhs.

Krystal: Travis' girlfriend.

 

Setting

Outside school, first day back from Summer. The lights come on and Jack in standing center stage facing stage right. Narrator stands downstage, stage right.

 

Lexa: -Runs from stage left and jumps on Jack's back, covering his eyes- Guess who! -giggles-

 

Jack: -Surprised- Lex?

 

Lexa: -Uncovers his eyes and jumps down- Yessir! Did ya miss me?

 

Jack: -Turns around to face her- Heck yes, I missed you! -Hugs her-

 

Lexa: -Hugs him back-

 

Narrator: FREEZE!

 

Both: -Freeze-

 

Lights dim and spotlight follows Narrator

 

Narrator: Aw. Now isn't that just adorable? -Steps towards them- But little does our little Lexi know...Over Summer, Jack, here, has not only started saying that ridiculously stupid phrase "Heck yes" but he's also...Dun dun DUN...Started smoking. Let's wait and see how she reacts -steps back and faces them-

 

Lights go back to normal

 

Lexa: -Pushes Jack away- Why do you smell like smoke?

 

Jack: Uhhh...

 

Lexa: -Smells his breath- You've been smoking, haven't you?

 

Jack: Lex...Listen to me...It's--

 

Lexa: UGH! -Storms offstage angerly-

 

Jack: -Sighs and looks around- Rose! Travis -Disgusted- Krystal...Rose! Travis! Hey guys!

 

Rose skips onstage, followed by Travis and Krystal, who are holding hands.

 

Narrator: FREEZE!

 

Lights dim and spotlight follows Narrator

 

Narrator: How will he tell them? He can't very well say -Mimics Jack- Hey, Rose. I've been smoking. Heck yes! -Jumps in front of himself and turns around, mimcking Rose- Oh, Jack! -Stops- -Stands up straight- Wait...I didn't know this was Titanic -Shrugs- Let's see -Walks over to the group and observes them-

 

Lights go back to normal

 

Rose: Oh my GOSH! It's been so long! I missed you so much! -Hugs Jack- Now WHY didn't you tell me you were smoking? -Smacks his arm- I didn't get a call or ANYTHING!

 

Jacks: -Rubs his arm- Ouch...

 

Travis: Lexa knows, doesn't she?

 

Jack: Yeah...She knows.

 

Krystal: Uhm...Travis, baby, I'm gonna go, now. I see MY friends. -Runs offstage-

 

Jack: Well that was rude.

 

Travis: -Sighs- Yeah...That's Krystal for you.

 

Jack, Travis, and Rose walk offstage, talking in low tones. Rose squeals and laughs.

 

Lights go off and spotlight follows Narrator

 

Narrator: Huh...Well that was easy. I wonder how long it will take for Travis and Krystal to break up...-Walks offstage, pondering this-

 

Blackout

 

Setting

Classroom. Teacher is giving the class a lecture on smoking. Narrator walks behind the desks in which the students sit.

 

Jack: -Whispering- Lexaaaaaa... Why won't you talk to me?

 

Lexa: HUSH! I'm trying to pay attention to the lesson!

 

Jack: -Sighs- It's a lecture, not a lesson. -Sighs again-

 

Narrator: -Walks in front of the desks and stands center stage- Now the moral of this story is DON'T SMOKE. But, if you're going to, tell your friends first before they find out for themselves, as you more likely than not have a friend like Lexi, who will freak out and probably never speak to you again. And remember, kids. Tobacco schools you.

 

Travis and Rose: W...T...F???

 

Fin

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It's eerie to think that I *know* people like Lexi.

 

...not to mention the fact that this play made perfect sense to me. \;>)

 

I like it.

...Me?

*shrug* I don't know. I think it just has to make perfect sense to pretty much anyone. Except maybe the end. That...It might take a gamer to explain.

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