madhatter Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 They say there is no way To have a lunch thats free But that was not true today When I did not have to pay I went after my exam I heard it on the radio I thought it was a scam What did you say ma'am? Not a dime, nickel, cent? How lucky I must be I can now leave my tent And might even pay my rent They say there is no way To have a lunch thats free But they don't know, nay Dont know what they say OOC: Inspired by this - [14:16] <@madhatter> Haha great, just finished an AP exam [14:16] <@madhatter> AND I got free lunch [14:16] <@madhatter> a local restaurant was giving away free food [14:16] <@madhatter> I guess there is such a thing as free lunch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 (edited) Well now that you made me read this, I should post something too no? I like it, first of all, and the meter is just right for this kind of poem. The one odd sentence was about leaving your tent... since it seems to only be there to rhyme, but since it hardly distracts, just leave it in I'd say oh, and you might want to change Dont into Don't in the last sentence. Great inspiration, great poem, thanks for a funny read Oh, and I hope it tasted as good as your poem implies.. free food's the best! *grins* Edited May 4, 2006 by Appy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madhatter Posted May 4, 2006 Author Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 They say there is no way To have a lunch thats free But that was not true today When I did not have to pay I went after my exam I heard it on the radio I thought it was a scam What did you say ma'am? Not a dime, nickel, cent? How lucky I must be Won't make my wallet dent I can even pay my rent They say there is no way To have a lunch thats free But they don't know, nay Don't know what they say Thanks Appy! Revised according to your suggestions. I'm looking forward to more constructive criticism as always Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted May 4, 2006 Report Share Posted May 4, 2006 Oooh nice revision, well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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