Just One Night

[WrenWind]

For just one night,

to hold you tight.

 

Too much to ask?

Too hard a task?

 

For just one night,

to still the fright.

 

No guilty thought.

No presents bought.

 

For just one night,

to taste delight.

 

Just have your heart.

Just feel you start.

 

For just one night,

to love your light.

[Wyvern]

A sweet poem, Wrenwind... I'm sure that Jerry would be flattered by it. :-) The short eight-syllable stanzas read well for the most part, and I liked the sensual feel that "taste" drove across in the fifth stanza. While most of the lines were direct and easy to understand, I was uncertain what was meant in the line "Just feel you start," and you might consider rephrasing it for more clarity.

 

Thanks for sharing this here. :-)

[WrenWind]

I had trouble with that line and I'm still not sure how to fix it. Open to suggestions though.

 

For just one night,

to hold you tight.

 

Too much to ask?

Too hard a task?

 

For just one night,

to still the fright.

 

No guilty thought.

No presents bought.

 

For just one night,

to taste delight.

 

Just have your heart.

Just be one part.

 

For just one night,

to love your light.

Edited April 10, 2006 by WrenWind

[Appy]

I think this is a great poem, and you improved it well. I love the simplicity of it, while it has so much meaning still. Well done and thanks for posting!

[Sweetcherrie]

Sensual and tender, I like indeed the simple wording, but still saying so much, and showing so much within those simple words.

 

I think the line runs better now as well

 

Thank you for sharing