Tasslehoff Posted January 2, 2006 Report Share Posted January 2, 2006 Seen. Through these dilluted eyes. Felt. Through the broken heart. Agreed. Only cause I told you I care and want to help. Irony. Very much so. Falling. Farther and father down this hole. Holding. Each other, when do we hit bottom? Pace. Going to fast, not under control! Pain. Will it be felt, how bad? Can we survive? Climb. When do we get back to the top? Interesting. How Im not supposed to help. Idle. Its how Im supposed to be. Amazing. The answers in Lincoln*. Honestly. Should I have thought otherwise? Answers. Somewhere in the middle, will we meet? Quiet. Killing me slowly. Silence. Once again, its all thats left between us. *FootNote Kinda Thing. -- Lincoln, captial of Nebraska. Hard to explain why its imortant to this *poem*.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Ah, but it is poetry The single words really accentuate the feeling you drive across in the lines that go with it, but I do somehow feel that the build up could be stronger, more organized. A couple of words that you've used at the beginning feel a lot more powerful than some of the ones you've used at the end. I realize that this is a poem that comes from the heart and that it's hard to change those, but I think with a little more structure this could be even better than it already is Thank you for sharing this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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