Parmenion Posted December 23, 2005 Report Share Posted December 23, 2005 Athena blessed this raven lass, Incandescent in her ways, Sincere, forthright, without being crass, Hypnotic with her gaze. Living life at her own pace, In all she did and said, Never giving up her space, Gods! She hogged the bed! Half smiles play around her lips, On thoughts inside her head, Like a nymph she sways her hips, In gestures left unsaid! Away she flits whenever she flares, No subject is she for eyes and stares. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted January 7, 2006 Report Share Posted January 7, 2006 Sensual, but an image nicely captured The last two lines feel sort of forced, but I really like the rest of the poem...especially the sarcastic Gods! She hogged the bed! *chuckles* Thanks for sharing Parm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 On the contrary Sweet from the perspective of another male I think Parm captures the essence of living with a woman very well. The struggle to stake out ones own personal space in a relationship and in bed is encapsulated very well. Your visual images were greatly helped with unusual descriptive words. I don't believe I would have ever thought of using incandescent to describe someone but I understood it immediately. Nicely written Parm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted January 11, 2006 Report Share Posted January 11, 2006 *justs smiles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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