Spirit Wolf Keeper of the Grove

[Eld]

A forest doth sway

in moonbeams it glimmers,

as one small world

in starlight doth shimmer,

 

and cloud doth obscure

the leaf strewn floor,

above which once

mighty eagles did soar.

 

Not a whisper of wings

or a stealthy footfall.

Where are thee brothers

for my heart it doth call?

 

Awaken ye sleepers

come wander with me,

I’d hunt with thee again

for ‘tis as it should be,

 

many lifetimes gone and

my spirit may not rove,

‘tis here for eternity

aye keeper of the grove.

 

 

Eld

[Peredhil]

This is a neat word-picture and would make a great intro to a fantasy novel.

A few nick-picks I noticed:

To keep the meter consistent in stanza two, "leaf strewn" should be "leaf-strewn".

Maybe remove the "a" in "or a stealthy footfall"?

In the next line, "Where are thee brothers" would have to be "Where are thee, brothers," to make sense to me.

Something about the flow of the 4th stanza seems awkward - maybe read aloud and tweak?

 

I normally don't pick on things like this, but I feel this could be a really good piece with a bit of tweaking.