A short entertaining piece

[Damon Inferel]

Gaaaaar! It's been a while since this old seadog seen ye folk. Driftin' ashore i be upon this keep, hoping for my safe passage. (So's I can pillage and loot, but you needn't be worried 'bout that right now.)

 

This is something I wrote a short time ago, and thought it might be entertaining.

 

Something that swells in the depths of the deepest parts of doomy death has risen and questions why you have brought them here. You simply reply that you don't know.

 

Furious, that particular something smashes his fist into a nearby wall, getting a brief flinch out of you... something he notices. He grins that sinister grin and laughs that sinister laugh, and now you are puzzled. FLicking his wrist, you realize with moderate discomfort that he has claws the size of kitchen knives protruding from his fingertips and he is advancing towards you.

 

Closer he comes, still smiling that sinister smile and chuckling that sinister chuckle. You shoot him with your tazer and spray mace in his oh-so-sinister eyes. He's crying. He curls up into a little ball and whimpers, rubbing at his eyes, trying to remove the burning sensation. You ponder to yourself, why would domething potentially from the bowels of hell be wounded by a tazer and some pepper spray? You shrug.

 

After watching cartoons or something for about half-an-hour, you hear scuffling behind you. It's that sinister thing again, smiling that sinister smile and sneaking that sinister sneak. You can't see him, but you know what he's in for.

 

He cries out in pain, a yelp of sinister pain, and a thud follows. He's hit the floor. Why? Because he stubbed his toe on that coffee table your friends keep telling you that you placed in a very inconvenient spot. He's rolling around, moaning a sinister moan. You ignore him up until there is something that sounds like shredded flesh. That bastard just ripped the back of your couch!

 

You stand up and turn to face the moaning thing with the claws, who's still complaining about his toe, telling you you shouldn't put a coffee table there. You watch as he manages to get to his feet, that same scuffling noise like a zombie approaches you. He's got that sinister grimace because of his sinister injured toe and those sinister claws that ripped your couch. Are you going to stand there and take that? Yes, you are. Why? Because he has claws.

 

Suddenly, you realize you are late for work. You grab your keys and run out the door. You make it to work. Your boring work with your boring pay. You work your boring day. You leave work, bored. That sinister thign followed you to work. He's out of breath. You look at him, and he looks at you. You must do combat now! You take your awkward fighting stance and realize you have no idea what you're doing. So, you yawn, walk past the sinister thing, get in your car, and go home. but first, you buy a doughnut, and then you go home.

 

You are eating your doughnut and the doorbell rings. It's that sinister thing. You tell him you're not interested and that you've had a long day. you blather on about your boring job so much that you realize he left before you even got through half of your conversation. How rude!

 

You hunt him down, and he's at the convenience store. He's buying a newspaper. Why? You don't know, and he probably doesn't either. He doesn't pay for his newspaper and walks out the door. The store manager yells something funny about paying for it, but the thing keeps walking. Cops are called.

 

The cops show up and arrest the store owner for the crazy description. Can't have loonies running about. You go home. You sleep. You realize there is no end to this. You wake up... Lather, rinse, repeat.

[Peredhil]

LOL.

 

Now *that* is a switch! The Power of Mundanity!

[Zadown]

I must say though, that color is impossible to read on my Pen color scheme.