Cheapest Way

[Tattered]

This is just raw...I have to make it into something...but I am not sure how yet...it's just too fresh. Any suggestions are appreciated.

 

It’s a twisted game you play

Everything you feel today, you felt it before

You know it well

You live in your own personal hell

It’s about control

Or lack thereof

It’s about self respect

You haven’t got that yet

You push and pull away

Like a daring trapeze act

You walk a fine line

Just to see how you get back this time

It’s like a rollercoaster ride

Cheap thrills give you your high

And you lows

It’s addict behavior …I know it well

I’ve just never been quite here before

I guess I said some things you didn’t want to hear

Maybe I was right or maybe I was wrong

But I think the truth lies inside yourself

You already knew, you already know

Once you decided to let us go

Once that drink hit your lips

You left me, you left me

We were as good as done

You say you love me but I know you don’t

I hope you find that one you need

The one you have always loved deep inside

The one you haven’t found

The one you have spent your whole life searching for

That one is you

Yes I think that’s what you need to do

You can’t even see yourself

It’s hard to do

I can’t tell right now if the person that you are

Is more the one searching some street of a nameless town

Looking for a party and fresh prey

Or that man in a suit and tie

At church on time every Sunday

You don’t even know the games you play

But I do

I do

I can see right through you

Don’t think I don’t understand

Don’t think I am not being fair

I know enough to see the good in you

Complicated, anguished life of a torn man

I know you can make it you can do this thing

Called happiness

It starts inside

Heal the damage from past fires

Let the scars go away

Stop playing with the flames that got you there

You can’t even see yourself

I bought some pillows and blankets today

I feel so cold

You left me here in the cheapest way

I have to say

I feel so cold today

You cheated yourself, you lost at your own game

And you've been playing it so long

You may wonder why you can't win

But it's a losing game...everyone loses

NO one ever wins

I got caught in the middle

And I am glad I got to see

I am glad you revealed this part of you

to me

At least I know now

And I don't have to wait anymore

I don't need to say I told you so

You already know I said we'd be standing here

Just like this, one day

So here we are

Good luck on your way.

[Ayshela]

wow.

you've such a lot, here..

such a lot of raw stuff, powerful stuff.

such a lot of strength, courage,

endurace, too.

 

critical feedback - i'd have to "live with it" a bit before i could be at all helpful beyond that personally, i'd split the second line at the comma.

There's always so much heart in what you have to say, i don't want to rush with it. Let me think a bit.

*hugs*