The Portrait of Zool Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 I wrote this a long time ago to publicize Wyvern's project 'Gyrfalcon the Movie'. It had little to do with the 'movie', but I was perusing the old boards and ran across it, and I thought, 'Ya know, I think this is worth keeping.' Enjoy. Author: Zool Topic: Wyvern Productions presents... Veteran Posts: 1799 Registered: Apr 2000 posted November 03, 2000 01:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *You hear a male announcer speak in a booming gravelly voice, intercut with movie dialog and flashes of the relevant scenes* First there was Gone With The Wind. "I'm really a man." "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a Damn!" Then there was Star Wars. "The toilet is stopped up again Han!" "Use the force, Luke." Now there's Gyrfalcon The Movie. *The sound of wardrums hammer from the surround sound. A lovely woman in billowing white robe rides in slow motion through a sodden meadow. In the background a band of filthy cut-throats brandishing weapons are riding hard to catch up to her. You see the picture for only a second, and then it fades to black* What is it that makes a half-elf a warrior? *The drums hammer again, and again the scene with the woman on horseback is flashed. They have advanced to a rocky landscape. It fades back to black* What is it that makes a warrior a hero? *This time when the drums beat you see the woman climbing some boulders on a mountainside. The cut-throats are still after her, scrabbling up the rocks a bare ten meters behind her. Lightning flashes across the scene, and her hair whips in the wind. The scene then fades to black again.* What is it that makes a hero a legend? *She reaches the top of a rocky outcropping and throws off her robe, revealling a steel bra and mail skirt, high leather boots, helical bronze arm bracers, and a whicked sword on her back. She dons thick padded gloves, then draws a bulky something from inside the robe and holds it high over her head in a dramatic pose on the rocky peak, her lithe figure black against the cloudy wind blown sky. Fade to black.* What is it that makes a legend a demi-god? *Thunder roars in a flash of brilliance. A chorus sings Wagnerian opera to the beat of the war drums. Seen for the first time is Gyrfalcon, standing near the woman. He is smiling heroically, holding a heroic pose. The lightning goes right over their heads, brushing what the woman is holding in her hands, and frying the cut-throat mob to bloody cinders. She places the object between them and they sit down. She starts serving the steaming casserole.* For the first time, See the epic tale of Gyrfalcon. See the heroic story of the warrior, the hero, the legend, and his lunch! Featuring an all-star cast, brought to you by Wyvern productions; The lovely Elemestra, heroine and Gyrfalcon's Femme Fatal, played by Cheyenne. *You see Elemestra in lovely sorceress robes at the top of the stairs in a stone castle, hands on hips.* "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?" Bardis, Gyrfalcon's faithfull right-hand man, played by Immortalis. *You see Immortalis's hamster Hammill tied to a table. a sinister henchman approaches with a roll of duct tape.* "Don' worry 'bout da Hamstuh, we're just gonna teach him a little trick." Mystic, played by Peredhil31. *You see Mystic in a dark hut in front of a crystal ball, an anxious client across from him.* "I am getting a vision. Yes. Yes, today would be a bad day to step in front of a speeding bus. Also watch out for cliffs..." Sinistro, played by P51mus. *You see Sinistro holding a sword at Bardis's throat. Both men are bruised and have oozing wounds.* "I am the incarnation of pure evil. I am despised in a thousand Kingdoms, hated in ten thousand more. I thrive on the blood and suffering of the innocent, and I cheat at dominoes." Nemphis, Sinistro's evil minion, played by the King of Kings, Ozymandias. *You see Nemphis in a small apartment. He is in a plaid shirt and is unshaven.* "You talkin' ta me(Hic)? I'm the only one heah." Terrorizer, Sinistro's hatchet dragon, played by Zool's rubber chicken. *You see an immense, evil black dragon shooting fireballs from his mouth and wreaking total destruction. Walking like a chicken, he struts to a hut and begins pecking at elves.* And Playing the heroic Gyrfalcon is the incomparable Racouol, Bearer of deep pockets (by special arrangement of the producer ). Opening soon in a Conservatory near you. Actual scenes may vary. ------------------ Zool Ager1 Eradication Mage Bard of Terra Doing it because; I can. The Pen is Mightier than the Sword - A1 Elder Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Portrait of Zool Posted November 17, 2004 Author Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 See the movie thread here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Posted November 17, 2004 Report Share Posted November 17, 2004 woohooo! Gyrfalcon... the Movie! I remember reading that.... *sniffs* Oh, the Nostalgia! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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