Orlan Posted August 18, 2004 Report Share Posted August 18, 2004 So I finally got around to starting the third story, the beginings a bit rough so I might rework it at the end (thanks Gwai) but for now it's not too bad...just a bit abrupt. Feel free to post in here like the last two, what you like/hate/wantmore/wantless of and so on and so forth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted August 23, 2004 Report Share Posted August 23, 2004 I'm pleasantly surprised to see a new story detailing the adventures of Taleth, and am enjoying "Final Memories" so far Orlan. I really like how you incorporate references to both "Final Death" (Taleth's mentioning of the bar brawl from the original) and "Siege of Agregra" (Uri-Van references) to award those that've read your previous works. I also really liked the manners that you played with Rysabella's transparency in this initial segment, as both the temptress and the feuds that fall directly where she sits were very clevery done. While it's too early to really judge the story for its merits and flaws, one thing I didn't particularly care for in this first entry was the extended paragraphs of telling, particularly the one in the second segment detailing how Taleth is immortal and a genius. I think that these two aspects of his character have already been shown through dialogue and Taleth's ingenius method of assasinating Ikeans, which renders this paragraph kinda irrelevent. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how this story developes, and am particularly intrigued as to whether we'll find out about that unexplained snippet of memory involving Rysabellas assassination, or if we'll find out who hired Taleth in "Final Death." Good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted July 8, 2005 Author Report Share Posted July 8, 2005 omg, I wrote more. So I was stuck with block on this for a lont time, nearly a year according to the post marker, as such I figured the easiest thing to do was to just screw it and skip it, so I did just that. There's a place holder so when I figure out what the hell I want to write there I can put it it there, but aside from that there's more. Just a setting up of things. Can you guess what's going to happen? I hope not, cause if you can then I need to rewrite things to make them more confusing ;P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted October 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted October 31, 2005 More post, adding prot, slightly. I have no idea how long this one will end up being but it'll probably be shortere than the other two. Meh, it's a living document, that's for sure so it might be uber long. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted July 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 So.... yeah It's finished. The last three posts are 50+ pages that I wrote in the last two weeks (g'bye writer's block) so I just posted it all. Though I did finish reading over it late at night so expect grammatical errors and spelling mistake galore ;P But it's done, so anyone who was waiting for it to get finished before they read it can now sleep eay.... mmmm, sleep.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwaihir Posted July 3, 2006 Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 Wow. Really that epic deserves a simple response. Just a wow. Probably better to explain myself though. This has little grammar type errors etc. but it's an excellent novel. You even pulled off the ending beautifully. I rather expected it to turn out cliched but it didn't. I'll try to post more later. Excellent job, O. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted July 3, 2006 Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 Reading...Can I ask what sort of feedback you would like? Or no feedback, or ..well yeah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted July 3, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 3, 2006 I always am looking for whatever feedback you feel like giving. I'm a big boy, I can take it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted July 29, 2006 Report Share Posted July 29, 2006 I recently read through this story from beginning to end, and found it very enjoyable Orlan. :-) I really like how you interconnected your previous works in it, with the confrontation between Donoxon and Taleth and the reappearence of Elistan (in obssessive villain form!) all adding to the intrigue and excitement of the story. The truth behind Taleth's memory of Rysabella's assassination and Elistan's alternate "interpretation" of the event were also very well thought out, and I really liked how you played out the emotions between Taleth and Rysabella in the final conflict. The character of Al and the fearful smalltown mentality of Anage were also very well incorporated... I like how Taleth finally saved someone he cared about when he acted out and covered Al from the wrath of Sedait's Final Gift, even if her parents were still burned. I'm hoping we'll see a story about the grown up Alexstraza, some day...? The only part of this story that didn't really vibe with me was Rysabella's total rage towards Taleth after hearing Elistan's interpretation of her assassination. I can certainly imagine her angry and hurt after seeing it play out, but her reactions seemed a bit extreme given the long length of time she's spent with Taleth and the number of not-so-evil deeds she's seen him perform. Even if she never does listen to her heart until the end, I'd figure that her head would send her some warning signs... and besides, her previous interpretation of the event also had Taleth murdering her. Aside from that, I thought there were times in the story where Taleth's immortality may have been referenced a little too much... it's bad-ass and crucial in Taleth's victories, true, but one reference per battle is more than enough. ;-) Anyway, excellent stuff as always Orlan. :-) Sorry it took me so long to getting to read through the completed version of this, I definitely enjoyed it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted July 30, 2006 Report Share Posted July 30, 2006 Sorry, printed it all out, am halfway, but RL got in the way... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlan Posted July 31, 2006 Author Report Share Posted July 31, 2006 Thanks again for spending the time, Dope-Master-W! It's always good to get any feedback. And Sweet, never worry about time, the stuff I tend to write is a tad bit longer than most things on the site (read: whollycrapthat'salongstory ) so I give anyone who wants to comment lots of leeway on it. Plus it's fun to read what people liked about it and its good for me to get critiques here and there so I can improve my writing! And about including characters from other stories, I tend to write it all like an eruption and invent characters on the fly, so when I do something I like I tend to keep them around. This story evolved as I wrote it, I only knew of a few scenes in my head and only loosely had a plot line (filler plot here and there I added, some made sense, some didn't). I had this one thought up before Siege but after writing Siege I really liked Donaxon and honestly, it kinda fits. The same is for Al. I like Al, and she'll be a key player in the next one I write. And actually the next one will include alot of the people I've introduced in all my stories. I've always been a fan of books with rather large casts but each person has thier own individuality. (I'm a huge fan of the 'misfits-unite' sort of books which has thieves with mages with warriors....a real D&D table top idea. It give a wide gamut and that's enjoyable for me to read). Anyway, thanks again for all feedback and thanks especially for taking time out to read it ;P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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