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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Auction for The Coin of Endless Schemes


Alaeha

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For instructions on bidding and such, look here.

 

The description of the item reads as follows:

 

“So, how exactly did you get yourself into the Royal Prison anyway? You don’t eve look capable of knocking over a hot meat stand let alone a royal offense of any kind.”

“Well, I am not going anywhere for a while anyway, so I guess I can pass the time telling you. My story is a strange and varied one It all started…..

 

Within the stalls of The Great Bazaar, the smells and sounds of the people almost overwhelming the senses in a mixture of attraction, distraction, and repulsion. People here either swindle or are swindled, there are no bystanders to the great game.

“Ah! Young man! You look like a discerning purchaser of fine magical objects!” Suggests a portly, sweaty vendor with bad teeth and even worse dandruff.

“Um.. no. no thanks, I think I will pass.” Steve says while doing his best to remain at least 5 feet away from the little kosh.

“Oh, just look at one of my items! If you don’t like it, I will give you this wonderful silver dagger! All you have to do is look.” Insisted the man.

*hmm.. Apparently the only ting worse than his dandruff is his desperation to make a sell.. oh well, anything to keep him from making a scene* “Well fine sir! How could one pass up a deal such as that! What is this trinket that you wish to show me?”

“Only this my fine sir!” With that the man pulled a coin on a chain from between his chest and leather vest. “Here sir, as you can see it is very old, so old that no one knows what the language written on it is.” He puts it within the young man’s hand, (who does his best not to immediately wipe his hand on his pants). “Fill the heft of it; truly it is a quality piece.”

“Ah, yes, yes I can see. But how much do you want for such an item?”

“Ah, for one such as you? (The venders eyes look over the young man, noticing cut of cloths, bulge of purse, and carriage off person)… I can give it to you for oh.. 1000 Drakmen! It is a deal you will not beat this side of the great wastes I tell you!”

“Hmm. If this is truly a great artifact, how does one use it?”

The vendor took the coin back, “You do like so, and it will speak to you” and spun the coin on its edge.

“Yes I can see how that might work, and while I do hear a strange humming, I don’t see how that will help me.” Answered Steve in his best negotiation minded voice, though he had to admit to himself that the very sight of the coin spinning made him yearn for it like he did the young barmaid in Percy’s Pavilion of Pleasure.

“Ah, but see, all you hear is a humming, what I hear is the coin talking to me… trust me.. try it for yourself”

Steven grabbed the coin quickly and spun it with a quick flick of the wrist..

“Ah! I thought you would never talk to me! How are you my good chap? Now..Now, don’t let him know that I am talking to you.. don’t show a single sign! If you do he will know something is up. I have kept silent the last 4 times. Now..what is your name young man? NO! NO! don’t say it out loud.. THINK IT! You can do that right? THINK I mean? Ah, hello Steve…good you can think. There for a moment I was worried about the chances for my future. Now.. I am going to tell you how to get away with me without paying a single gold coin.”

“Why would you want to get away? And why did you say you stayed silent the last 4 times?”

“Ah, well to help build a dialog between us, I will tell you of my motives. I assume you noticed where that tub of lard keeps me, the only thing worse was the time he was robbed and hid me in his jockey’s.. DON”T LAUGH!.. Now.. I stayed silent the last 4 times because one person had the worst fashion sense I ever saw, one was an old lady with no possible chance of stealing me, one had a bum leg, and the last was…well.. to put it nicely… He made our little friend over there look like a harem girl.”

“um… yeah… you said something about getting you for free? You have some great plan?”

“OH yes! Are you listening carefully? Really carefully? Good… I have had months to contemplate this.. and you are just the right blend of brains and brawn to get this done… are you ready to do what ever I say? Good… RUN!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“Ok, so you found a talking coin that was scheming ..how did that make you end up in here?”

“Oh.. you don’t know do you? It seems that one day while the Sultan’s harem girls were being transported to the temple for the Day of Bast celebration..that I happened to catch a glimpse of them, and so did the coin… I was strong.. I resisted the temptations he put forth. He finally convinced me though, I thought he an I could pull it off, I have robbed more vaults than I care to remember, even tricked a dragon into giving me a small portion of his horde as protection money, I had faith and loyalty with the coin, so when he mentioned that he was only about 2 inches across, and would only take up a small portion of breast, leaving 22 , and 1 more almost complete set of as he called them “love pillows” for us to play with. I crumbled….”

“Ok… so you got caught playing with the sultan’s girls.. why hasn’t the coin figured a way out for you then?”

“HAHA.. that DAMN COIN!.. the last I saw of him, one of the girls was spinning him, and then calling for the guards.. What really pisses me off though was, He WINKED AT ME! Don’t look at me that way, I am not crazy, the sun blinked off of him.. he WINKED… and as the guards led me away, all I heard him say was “Hmm.. none for you, 22 for me… none for you.. 22 for me..”

Now, do I hear 10 geld for this coin? 10 geld for a share in a dragon's horde, and more? Just 10 geld...

 

the man doing the auction -- a short, portly, and balding middle-aged man -- speaks slightly faster than greased lightning, and continues rambling about the virtues of the coin....

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