Arashi Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 (edited) Waiting in the rain The sad child cries She has lost her will to live on Staring down at the guilty masses The ones who pushed her to the brink Labeling her with names Whore, slut, bitch, skank Each title is a new slap in the face Cheap black eye shadow Running down her cold cheek Dollar store lipstick turned gray Tear stained liquid paper face Smiling upside down But she was once not the so called goth We see before us Clinging to the rail Once smile, did she Greeting the sun with a frown That was placed upside down A free spirit dreamer Vision of youthful life Until rumors were spread Reputations destroyed Darkness spread Standing on the roof Looking down at them One final tear Then simple nothingness ________________________________________________ What does everyone think? I really enjoyed writing this one. Edited March 24, 2004 by Arashi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozymandias Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Very real. Evocative and empathetic. And most of all, chilling. Well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragonqueen Posted March 24, 2004 Report Share Posted March 24, 2004 Very nice. Is she literaly a child, or older? Good imagery, and kind of eerie, but in a good way. It's neat how you used a smile upside down and then a frown upside down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arashi Posted March 25, 2004 Author Report Share Posted March 25, 2004 My image was of a teenager. But I guess its really more up to what you invision it as. And I like the frowning and smiling because, well, thats how I see it. My brain is an odd place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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