BelchFire Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 Hello, I would like to submit this in application to your fine site. This is untitled. Perhaps you could help me with that? I saw it in her eyes, that she wasn't really here, but far away her presence was merely an echo of the rushing power there. We danced away our days, in sparkling sun and splashing water, in smoky meals and intoxicating drink. Long gray hours drifted between, but we never minded, always gravitating back to our little planet. She taught me many things, That the mewling of the weakest kitten can have more force than eight hurricanes That our feet are long soft hands, with which we hold the world That our thoughts can cleave atoms, and our tongues can shape the universe And then she looked around her, and took a fancy to what was outside of our happy place, and all was lost. Then the world had no meaning. Then those golden days were gone forever. But still... I think of her always as I carry my days and with my feet I hold the earth my hearing is a lamplight searching for the weakest mewling and my thoughts cleave atoms, while with my tongue I shape my loneliness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted January 22, 2004 Report Share Posted January 22, 2004 i LIKE this! unusual, and very apt, descriptions of the shape of reality. welcome, hope to see much more of you about here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelchFire Posted January 23, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanTheAdequate Posted January 23, 2004 Report Share Posted January 23, 2004 I would call it "Lamplight Searching" Liked that part. Flows great! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanuchan Posted January 26, 2004 Report Share Posted January 26, 2004 Liked it also! And I agree with Dean, Lamplight Searching does seem a good title Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jade Posted January 26, 2004 Report Share Posted January 26, 2004 I love the last stanza, but I get lost somewhere in the middle of the poem. I follow it, but you lose some of your flavor. It almost feels like you are speaking in generalities, and you never really focus in. 'Then the world had no meaning. Then those golden days were gone forever.' I like the repition in 'That the mewling of the weakest kitten can have more force than eight hurricanes...' but the phrase 'She taught me many things' does not fit well. And despite that, I keep going back to the last stanza. The idea of holding the earth with your feet and shaping loneliness with your tongue...wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 Belchfire sighs and swivels restlessly in his applicant easychair, checking the time on the aged grandfather clock that rests in the corner of the Office and wondering what could be taking the Elder of Initiates such a long time to arrive. Blushing slightly at the numerous compliments and constructive criticisms he's recieved from the Pen members that have gathered in the Office, the eager applicant lifts his head to thank them once again just as the door to the office slams open and a bustling crowd begins flooding into the office. Belchfire, Ayshela, DeanTheAdequate, Tanuchan and Jade are all squished towards a corner of the room as it starts getting crowded with large, muscular men wearing cowboy hats, trucker jeans, and loose-fitting leather jackets. The unavoidable odor of chewing tobacco mixed with the stench of horse meat previously eaten for lunch fill the members' nostrils, causing them to violently gag for fresh air. A gang of roughly dressed, rowdy men cause the entire room to quake as they barge in carrying two roosters by the throat, and proceed to set up a cock-fighting ring in the center of the room. Somewhere in the Office, what is thought to be a grizzly bear is shot at by a hillbilly in a beer-stained NRA T-shirt. Belchfire's eyes widen and he stutters as he's seperated from the other members in the Office and shoved towards the Recruitment desk of the room. His jaw drops open when he arrives at the desk only to find Wyvern sitting there with several packs of sodas resting by his scaly feet. Grinning and nodding towards Belchfire, the overgrown lizard quickly shakes his hand before jumping on top of his desk, picking up a megaphone from inbetween two paper stacks, and yelling: "Alright you manly men...you wanted it, you got it! "The Mighty Pen Burp Off," one hundred percent guaranteed to cause rough and rowdy excitement for the whole family..." The room suddenly goes silent and crickets chirp in response. "Errr... sorry, I meant only the MEN of the family!" Upon hearing this, the rowdy men that have gathered in the room cheer loudly and begin recklessly moshing in the room. Directly outside of the Recruiter's Office on the grassy area surrounding the Pen, several monster trucks begin driving around at full speed, running over Aardvark's Dodge Viper that happens to be parked there several times and reducing it to a pile of rubble. "Come on now, who wants to hear some belching?! Lemme hear you say *Belch*!" With that, all of the rowdy men in the room begin to belch at full force, causing the Pen to tremble at it's very foundation. "Good! Now today, we have a very special battle for you... it's myself, Wyvern, versus the late belching champion Belchfire!" Having said this, Wyvern kills the power on the megaphone and hops down from his desk, quickly turning towards the extremely nervous Belchfire. Nudging the applicant with a scaly shoulder, the lizard quietly hisses into his ear: "Just play along with me here, I'm getting paid big time for this... Choose a soda, guzzle it down, and belch at full force. Then, I'll do likewise, and after the winner is declared your application will be accepted. Got it?" Belchfire nervously nods and whispers a curse under his breath, turning towards the sodas available. Noticing a quaint-looking Mint soda and not wanting to offend anyone with bad breath, the applicant picks up the soda can, shakes it, and rapidly guzzles it down, preparing for an enormous belch. The crowd of men let out a cheer as Belchfire lets out a powerfull belch that takes the form of a concentrated fireball, which flies through the room and lands directly on Melba's left shoe. The Almost Secretary of Initiates cries out in rage as she gets a hot foot, having already had a bullet embedded in her left calf after being mistaken for a grizzly bear earlier, and begins tossing muscular men to the side one at a time in order to reach Wyvern. At the Recruitment desk, Wyvern applauds Belchfire's performance and then steps up to the belching plate himself, taking out a can of post-dated Bulldog rootbeer and spiking it with a touch of Bruteweiser. Shaking up the concoction and guzzling it in one go, the overgrown lizard proceeds to let out a belch of flame so great that it engulfs the entire room in a blazing inferno. By the time the flames have passed, the muscular male audiences clothes have been reduced to cinders, revealing their timid pink bunny rabbit boxer shorts. Before Wyvern can so much as mutter a word of apology, Melba leaps at him like an Almost Secretary out of hell, fully ablaze in flames. As the greedy reptile is thoroughly throttled by Melba, Belchfire is declared the victor by the masses due to his not burning off expensive clothes in the process of his belching, and is paraded out of the Office as a hero by a crowd of men in pink boxer shorts. The battered Elder of Initiates briefly manages to catch a gimpse of Ayshela in her undergarmets due to her clothes being burnt off with that of the rest of the crowd before stamping Belchfire's application ACCEPTED and promptly spurting blood onto it from his nose. ;-p OOC: On a more serious note, Belchfire, an excellent application poem and certainly an ACCEPTED application. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of your writing, and hope I haven't taken too many creative liberties in the formation of this roleplaying response (this goes to Ayshela as well!). Once again, welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted January 27, 2004 Report Share Posted January 27, 2004 EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!! Ayshela rips the drapery from the window, wraps it about herself in a makeshift toga, and **carefully** makes her way out of the room in search of fresh clothing. Wrinkling her nose, she decides a shower would definitely be in order, as well. eeeew... OOC: *giggle* congratulations, and welcome! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BelchFire Posted January 28, 2004 Author Report Share Posted January 28, 2004 Belchfire wanders back in and gingerly accepts back his soggy, bloody, burnt, stinking, accepted application with a small nod, half in horror, half in acknowledgement. "Thanks," he quietly rumbled. "I look..." His face went completely blank for a moment. "F-forward," he finally stammered. "...to hanging with you folks." Uncertain what else to add to the previous mayhem he turns to go, but at the door he stops, and says, "Good thing my cousin Pootfire wasn't applying," then, still holding his decorated application, wanders back out apprehensively wondering what he would possibly find himself involved in next. OOC: Thanks Wyvern, Thanks Ayshela, Deantheadaquate, Tanuchan, and Jade. Thank you very much! I think this will be most interesting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ayshela Posted January 28, 2004 Report Share Posted January 28, 2004 *giggles* oh, most definitely! welcome, come on in, only half of us are as crazy as we seem. the rest of us - we hide it well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Regel Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 AN excellent first post Belchfire. Welcome to the pen community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted January 31, 2004 Report Share Posted January 31, 2004 *hugs * Wren smiles and congratulates the new member . Nice piece and please, please have PootFire use a pseudonym if he ever decides to apply. I don't think the walls of this place could handle Wyverns responce. *giggles * Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts