Exersice in Verse

[Vlad]

Time;

A fleeting part of life.

 

Inevitable;

A savior and doombringer.

Patient;

Yet waiting for no one.

 

It exists.

Man made a concept-

To which he is a slave.

It exists.

Made to be a measure-

But the units have no base.

 

 

Faith;

It lies as it flies.

 

Spectral;

The best and worst in all.

Unexplained;

But people still believe.

 

It exists.

Man made a concept-

To which he is a slave.

It exists.

Made to be a measure-

But the units have no base.

Edited December 24, 2003 by Vlad

[Vlad]

15 minutes

 

A speck of us,

Is lost in dust.

 

While cold winds may blow,

And time may pass-

Time will forever show,

That the winds will pass.

 

Being here;

And everywhere-

Means that I am

Nowhere at once.

 

But it is crystal clear

That there is no one to care.

A young little lamb

Falls victim to trance.

 

And everyone, of us men

Soon becomes - that which has been.

[X-Sabre]

Nice, wish I understood more about verse and such to really critique it.. But, maybe I'll learn something once in a while.. Who knows, it's possible!

[Yuki Kokoro]

I really liked the parallels you drew in the first post about time and faith. Two man-made concepts that both serve and bring suffering.

 

In the second post I liked each seperate image: wind, the lamb, and especially the being "nowhere at once", but I had a hard time tying it all together. I eventually got it though... I think...

Edited December 26, 2003 by Yuki Kokoro

[Jade]

I like that. A lot.

And everyone, of us men

Soon becomes - that which has been.

Very evocative, and ties back to the beginning well. I do not like the phrase 'crystal clear' it's too much of a cliche.