Parmenion Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 This is the first song I've written. It was inspired by a friend of mine. She challenged me to do it and I took the beat from a song by Dave Matthews Band but its an original piece. The words are sung slowly hanging on syllables and elongating their tone to compromise for extra syllables in previous or next lines. Hope you enjoy. Hyphens are used to show phonetically elongated syllables in places (sorry if it ruins the flow and I'll amend it if its too confusing). This is for you Olwen... This woman still reminds me, Of a life I left be-hind, Of a choice that I denied myself, And how could I be so blind? I dismissed all of her feelings, I put them to one side, Wake up now each morning, With a self I can't abide. (chorus) I look back now at actions, That caused that cold dark hole... That hollow-ness around her being, That Win-ter in her soul! I took the time to curse her, Took the time to wreck her head, Now I cry into these lonely hands, There's no forgiveness from the dead! She reached out for a person, For a hope in this cruel life, She risked her dreams and hopes on me, While I repaid her with strife, (O sound) Now she looked to me for reasons, Because I took her by surprise, I told her it was all a game, As tears welled in her eyes. (chorus) I look back now at actions, That caused that cold dark hole... That hollow-ness around her being, That Win-ter of her soul! I took the time to curse her, Took the time to wreck her head, Now I cry into these lonely hands, There's no forgiveness from the dead! Now I can't escape the memories, Nor her voice inside my mind, Or all the stupid, silly things I said, All the times I was unkind...(O sound) Now I'm reaching out for a person, Someone who can forgive, Someone to save me from myself, For a whole new life to live... (different last chorus) Now I still look back at actions, That caused this cold dark hole, That hollow-ness around my being, This Win-ter in my soul! I take the time to curse myself, Take the time to search my head, I still cry in-to lonely hands, There's no forgiveness from the dead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorciere Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 I really like this, it would be nice to know what tune you actually wrote it to fit with, then I could really get an idea of how it's supposed to sound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 a very good effort i have never attempted to write a song .......... Bravo !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parmenion Posted September 19, 2003 Author Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 Similar beat to Grey Street from the Busted album (second song) Sorciere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Appy Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 I love it... especially "that winter in her soul".. such a strong image that. Very nice work! *applauds* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sorciere Posted September 19, 2003 Report Share Posted September 19, 2003 Just listened to the song, love it even more now, bravo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loki Wyrd Posted September 20, 2003 Report Share Posted September 20, 2003 A very nice read. I didn't find it difficult to follow the beat in the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted September 20, 2003 Report Share Posted September 20, 2003 I wish I could hear the melody behind this. I can really see Dave Matthews as being your inspiration here. Its very mainstream, in a good way, as in I could imagine hearing it on the radio. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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