Zepheri

actually i noticed my story could almost be used as a prelude to your story, though i didn't really intend it to....

what words did i use again that made you confused???

You repeated the word "Guardians" to much. At first I couldn't keep wicth type of Guardian went with who and who was bad/good...but i got it in the end. So no worries.

Savage Dragon, I like your short story. I was a little confused at some parts, but I re-read it and was no longer confused. I think I got confused becuase you reused words for different things and i couldn't tell what from what. All and all I like the story, and would also like to see it to be a much longer story. I would like to know everything that happened.

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]

I really like this poem. It grabs ones attention with the first line "The floating irridescence of a midnight dream" That sounds so beautiful. I would also like to hear it with music. It would be nice if The Pen were able to have that on here. Then you really could share it with us. But this works just fine.

Does it have to be a short story or can it be a piece of a possible longer story, like a short scene?

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]

At first I felt like I was reading something from "Star Wars" then it felt more like a brain washing.

gave me shivers

Wren

Thank you very much for the comment I, at first, didn't see the whole Star Wars thing you spoke of, but then I saw it in the first few lines. So it works...but not what i was going for... Yes it is a little creepy...I like it that way though.

To: Wyvern

Once agian, thank you for your help. I'm gald to know you enjoy what I have posted. That makes me very happy. I have taken all of your advice into mind, and like my other poem, I am working on some revisions.

I like this very much so. The words seem a little out of place, that's mostly due to the fact that I'm not good in reading between the lines. However from what I got from this I can tell that you are saying in it (if you mean there to be a meaning) you are comparing your life to how music flows right? Then your life is like reading music, there are rests and fast notes then slow notes... Yes? I'm I right? I don't think I am but, I still liked this and I thought it was well done, you have very interesting style and I would like to read more.

Welcome to the Pen Zepheri. Quite an interesting (for the lack of finding a better word now, and so copying the others before me) story you've written, one which as Ayshela has stated some people should read. I wish I had also read this a few years ago, then I might have done some things differently in my life.

I hope you shall enjoy your stay at the Pen!

Why thank you Patrick I'm glad you like it so. *hug*

You are super hero I like this poem, you did really well on the rhyming! I could never do that. But I can see you in a cape ready to save the day!!! It's cute.

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]

To: Wyvern

Thank you for your very helpful comment. I know my spelling and grammar are not the greatest in the world, so I am very happy you took the time to point things out to me. This helps out a lot. *hug*

I'm glad you liked it that means something . When I wrote this poem I was going through some things, so I needed to write down how I felt, half way through I started to come to a revelation in the things that were happening. I try in every poem to have an element of "fill in the blanks" Even though I wrote this on how I feel, the "things" and "somethings" could be anything that relates to the reader. For me those words me something different from what it might for you, I indeed to keep it that way. Also I ALWAYS contradict myself, that maybe why you got confused on some things, I say one thing and then say another. That's more or less me coming through then anything. I mean you right somethings go against each other, but I think works anyway.

Did I miss a question? If I did let me know and if you have more, feel free to ask. I will post the revised version soon.

welcome!

interesting story! I can think of a few I wish had read it...

*hugs*

Thank you I'm glad you found it interesting.

Feel free to edit this if need be, my grammer is not the best, so forgive me for any problems you guys come across. I hope you enjoy it

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]

Interesting story. I enjoyed it.

And welcome, Zepheri.

Thankyou I'm gald you liked it.

So Opine is a verb...that helps me.

So is opine the root word of opinion then? Is there an easy way to remember when to use a noun or a verb of a word?

I'm sorry my grammer is not the greatest... I'm trying though.

And thank you for your help. Yui-chan

*giggle* perhaps yes, the funny part is, English is my spoken language (spelling?)... I know a bit of German I love German *hugs Germany* (if that's possible)

Zepheri looks over to her friend and smiles.

If he had asked her, she would have told him that she was happy to know he liked her story

Or that he was waiting with her. She doesn't feel lonely anymore.

Opine is the word...

I had to change my opine, or choice of words so I wouldn't hurt someone.

Does that work? Or did I use it wrong? I used it wrong...I knew it...*goes under a rock*

So harum-scarum (witch rhymes) means to be, cheerfully, irresponsible, careless and reckless? That's like saying I'm happily tearing apart a bunny rabbit but I don't care that I'm doing it...how does that work?

[Removed by Zepheri's Request]