Mardrax

D'oh. That's what you get for typing late at night, with perhaps one too many drinks.
Also: the Romans won. Yay!

So here goes.

~~~~~~~~

Obsession
with things slipping away
ever further away
until nothing remains
but
obsessions
with deepest interests
and shallowest desires
remaining yet unfulfilled
yet
obsessions
cling to my mind
as I cling back in kind
and we bind eachother

when nothing remains

but

obsession

~~~~~~~~~

Time flies, all wibbly wobbly insects

Wait for the ricochet
as people stand gawking

Eyes cast your way

You must have said something

that must have been bad

Yet now there is nothing

Nothing left to be said

as you stand there waiting

Running thoughts through your head

Your heart picks up thumping

Turns your face all red

as you wait for their dumping

You see their stilled tongues

preparing to voice

Now here surely it comes

And they snicker

Their laughter is brief

but from your discomfort
it offers
relief

~~~~~~~~

Ancient friends in absentia

Politest of elders, how can you not seethat life's just the greatest reposit'ry

of hopes and ideas, strewn over a canvas?

Spread by a twister, like this girl from Kansas

of whom all you would see were her shoes and her glee.

But a blur, fast and white would turn all else in sight

forevermore speeding, obscured in their flight

to where it might just be blank.

Yet let me be frank,

when her house set down, she went all over town

with monkies that flew after a witch's gown

on the most glorious journey for shoes.

So set your house down, politest of birds

and see how your blank pages form their own words.

Alright, awesome stuff! Keep on going there Snypiuer.

So how are we now folks?

I'm a bit late in doing this, a I apparently dropped off the face of the earth, but well done! Congratulations! It's good to see I've inpired someone to this greatness.

Theme 28: Sorrow

Roaming No More; Lament For A Phone

My head rested 'gainst the plastic seat before me

Tried in vain to block out the sound of babies -

Crying their lungs out as mommy tried to hush them -

Echoing like bats hunting in my cranium

That familiar, empty feeling presided, mixed

With that other familiar friend; self-contempt

Never far away, but on these days it can't

Help but stay away from the front of the stage

The stage where I

Stood, grasping, touching

Myself, looking, seeking, frantically

That one bit of - No, it couldn't

Be gone.

In that one moment, I saw

All of my friends fading

All of my brainchilds dying

All of my feelings passing

As I felt my pockets,

Once, twice,

Three times over

Nothing.

An hour of frantic searching later

And boarding the tram in defeat

I was still roaming

But no one picked up on it

As I faced the loss of the world

By myself, utterly.

Theme 27: Foreign

What we don't know

The kids in the playground outside my window

Shouting loudly amongst eachother

Arguing the merits of football players

Stacks of supermarket stickers in hand

That one girl, a chromosome too many

Running down the stairs in shocked amazement

"Oooh, so bad," As she stares at the ruin of my door

"We're okay, dear," and instantly that smile on her face

That woman from upstairs, her cooking must be awesome

As she drags a behind that could fit me thrice

Up three flights of stairs every day to get it

And still finds energy to greet me brightly every time

All of these people kind, outgoing

Nary a one of them afraid to speak out to his neighbour

I walk among them in austere black, secluded

And people call them foreigners?

Theme 26: Europe

All your base

Oh bright and shining

-Example of the west

While somehow in the east

Even that follows - and you them

What has become of your so proud cathedrals?

Testaments to your ability to climb, to a spire

Of latching on to your neighbour and pulling

Him down as you climb his shoulders?

For giants you have never been, but shoulders

Of a million men, tamed the land, raised

Everyone after you towards new heights

I look at you now, quibbling, amongst you

Those would drive out the base of our spire

Those who think painted glass in fancy windows

Will provide a lofty perch for a rosy view

Without having the columns to support it

"We do not want these," you say,

"They steal from our world of brilliant white."

And yet you do not see the stone you've charred

Is the stone we've built on, every time

When someone thought to burn our towers

Lying buried deep in solid foundations.

While your scope may have broadened

Terra Incognita now lies 'neath your feet

And those who don't look where they tread

Will most surely look where they fall

So keep on riding that bull, dear girl

But know where it takes you

Theme 25: Lurking

It hangs there In the back of my mind
My confession
It hides there

Not wanting to be seen
But it burns

I keep it there
Since despite the pain It warms me.
I hush it

Still your roar, dear one
Don't spoil this.

Also, yeah. That. Amongst other things.

I've had the deepest dip I've gone through in years, with no desire to fuel it by solidifying it into writing, and the knowledge that if I would put pen to paper, I would.

I'll catch up, dear friends. I promise.

Theme 24: Want

Weeks without end I've lulled myself to rest
That empty grey feeling inside
Me prevailing
And crushing out all
Will to live and to laugh

"What do you want?"

The question burned on
My lips, trembling in the twilight
Of my saviour and my scourge
That soft white
That shone through the pane
That separated us
With means beyond mere distance

No matter how close you chose to come
No matter how hard you tried to shine
Your gentle, self conscious light could never
Hope to penetrate my wall of self raised black
Mixing to a dull grey of mutual misunderstanding

Saying I lied in saying you'd be home
While the pull of you caused tides in me
And still I resolved, each and every day
No matter how distant you were
No matter fow faintly you shone
No matter the pane between us
I'd reel you in one day.

Keeping casting out my nets
Hoping you'd choose to be caught
And show me glass walls can be shattered
And the dimmest glow's a floodlight up close.

But as the moon cast her image
On the waters of my roiling seas
I'd have to take solace in drifting there
A boat in her shadow.

And still, every night, I raise my head
Let my hair tickle the small of my back
As I inhale sea air with the salty pang of tears

And howl at her, before jumping in
To swim, basking in her glory.

*Shrug* I haven't quite been managing daily myself, and James has had a few days of outage as well. Don't worry about it.

Either way, you've nothing to live up to. You're doing this for you, not us.

(And perhaps a t-shirt and drinks at the end )

And kudos for what you've been doing so far. Impressive.

Theme 23: Distasteful

Corruption Part 3: Wrongful Decompression

Mothers and children of quiet suburbia

Since this war started we've barely heard all o' ya

But now that it's over, you all rush to the streets

Cheering and hollering over some old man's death

While all are unseeing that is you he defeats

Why don't you remember there is always a Seth?

Are these now your values, so pure and so just

That you cheer as a life is ground into the dust?

Are these now the mores, so free and so true

That you'd wish for your children to carry beyond you?

I sit here, laugh quietly, ashamed of my mirth

Ashamed of my uncaring, unfeeling smile

As the earth's 'proudest nation' shows off its dearth

I might chuckle and snicker, but I still cough up bile.

Theme 22: Mother (Yay, week 3 done!)

Corruption Part 2: Peace of the Pie

She turned on her heel

Her summer dress whirled

The kids ran with a squeal

Back into mommy's world

To sit down at their table

And gobble their cake

With whipped cream, if able

And as mommy opened the window out wide

They looked at the brightly lit playground outside

And heard the phone ring, heard it ring twice

And saw that expression upon mommy's eyes

And they heard daddy's voice grow ever so grim

"Hello honey, kids. It's over. We've got him."

Indeed Tav. We'll be waiting for you there with cold beverages ready.

Snypiuer: This and this might get you a bit further. ^^

Theme 21: War

Corruption Part 1: Child's Play

Kids running through the streets

Chasing eachother with make believe

Rifles, grenades, they are the elites

Since you just can't misconceive

"Ratatat BOW! You're so totally dead!"

"No way pal, you missed!"

"It was right in the head!"

"What? Through the car? Give me a break!"

"Are you coming in kids? We're having cake!"

Theme 20: Fortitude

Go With The Fall

In my mind's eye

I still see you racing

On two crutches, that one day

Living out of the back of your car

Your foundations smashed to smithereens

In oh so many ways, the extent yet unknown

And still you went racing, going with the fall

As you called it. A tough chick.

Nevermind that might be the day

That you made things much worse than they were

That you tore at bonds further, with your boundless

Will to push, harder. You can do this. Have to

Do this. No one else will.

And still, I walked beside you

And still, I always will

And still, I'll keep saying that

Sometimes it's better

And takes the stronger one

To sit

Still.

Theme 19: Grey

Undefined

Even, the songs I hear

Even, the food I eat

Even, the walls around me

That seem to dampen everything

A slight background hum

Of sensations, undone.

Even.

Everything equal.

Balanced, flavourless

Gruel of sensations

Watered down and boiled

Free of all taste

Please, for all your highs and lows

They reverbrated with mine

And your colours mixed

With my black austerity

And oh so white moods

I gave you brightness

You gave me contrast

And now that you're gone

All I'm left with is grey.

Theme 18: Under

Well Stayed

Encircled in stone

A gap in the wall with a light peeking

Like the Earth's deepest dark took a break

And me reaching

From beyond the river, extending myself

Fear to wet my feet holds me back

And you standing

All the way up there, looking down

Wondering how long I'll take to decide

And all the world waiting

A safe distance away from my well of dreams, crumbled

Fearing the consequences of what I might take up

And still I stand reaching

For deepest enlightenment

Which might as well sweep me away.

Theme 17: Blood

Blood Bears No Memory

He sat there, staring

Vacantly into the oblivion

That had been

Most of his world

Lost to him, as many

Had come, and many gone

His life's juices smeared

Across bed, walls, floor

Handskin flayed

And they stood, watching

Afraid of a man who'd lost

Touch with everything

"Easy," he said. "Take it easy."

"Of course, sir. Don't I always?"

While in the back of her head

The thought prevailed.

"I hate that man."

And she left, like she came

Like the many who had gone.

Leaving him, his awareness

-Like his room- clean.

Empty.

Drained.

Theme 16: Spit

It came up

Like a point driven home

Far from home

In anticipation of coming thrills

You lay looking at the ceiling

Wondering wether you should

While we talked of all kinds of

Ah, there we go

No, I don't mind

If our exchange of words can't

Sort your thoughts, let's

Let our juices mingle freely

But if you say you owe her

Cut it out.

Theme 15: Silence

The wind whispers

My house rings loudly

It reverbrates with the lingering echoes

Of all those things you've set atremble

And left to ring out in your wake

Through glaring absence, you call me

Things I rather needn't face or hear

Chasing me around, yet never behind me

In that absence of you, I falter

And now, even I'm gone

Leaving the Thumper to its on devices

Hoping it won't call out to Shai-Hulud

As I step - slip - slide from the desert

And the desert wind whispers

Grinding all things to dust.

Theme 14: Smile. Week two down! Getting hard to consistently do this, with situations not going my way, me generally feeling like crap and being fairly helpless to stop it. Still, persisting.

Every thought of you

Every sight of you

Every word from you

That ever passed through my ears

Used to elicit smiles, at least inside

Now though, it seems I've forgotten

And most thoughts of you

Most words from you

-Since sights are never there-

Fill me with a certain unpleasant

Flavour of despair, of helplessness

While still, in my heart of hearts

I see you, hear you, think of you

And think "yes dear, I still love you

But oh the pain it costs me."

And inwardly still, I laugh.

Theme 13: Misfortune

Inner Locus

The thought sometimes hits me

Whenever someone says "Really

what're the odds of this happening

to of all people, me?"

That really, you contruct the odds

And what you call misfortune

Another will call karma, or simply

Cause and effect.

And sometimes, I'll shrug it off

While others, I'll bite into it

-Like a dog chewing a favourite bone

To suck out the sweet marrow inside

And crush it 'tween my jaws-

Savouring the concept of taking

Responsibility for my actions

Rather than having them depend

On some omnipotent outside force

Outside my reach, my understanding

And tell myself "God, that sucks,

But really mate, unconditionally,

it's your own damned fault."