Mardrax

took enough time for what? closing off whatever I was going trough, or actually writing the poem?

in the first case... do we ever? and in the second... I never take time writing poems... jot them down in a few minutes when something pops up... no rewriting or proofreading involved

and thank you for commenting *hug*

if anyone else is willing to, or has something to comment, don't hesitate

I'll be a latecomer here as well then, in reporting my dutchness, to which I'll then add my status as being the only native dutch speaker on here (that I know of anyway) currently residing IN the Netherlands

As for using English language, I go along with whatever my automations tell me to. Wether it's British, US, Canadian or even South African English... I frankly couldn't care much less. As far as I'm concerned, every person speaks the language he has learned to speak, with his own quirks in using it compared to the way it's "supposed" to be used. Who is anyone to tell someone the language he uses isn't correct?

And to top it off, as far as floors are concerned, dutchies stick to the British way (begane grond, 1e verdieping, etc)

A somewhat late reply perhaps, but better late than never, as some would say

To start off, a really big compliment for this, as it deserves no less

A few bits of criticism though.

The line "door gister...afnemen" doesn't read well for me. I think it's a bit too long to stay with the rythm of the rest... or it might just be the "en" that bugs me probably the truth is somewhere in the middle.

And about the same problem with the first line... rythm and "en" the "gister" looks to me af the full "gisteren" would fit in better there. Might just be my silly mind though.

But apart from my little nitpicking... petje af

Emptiness, tears.
Tracing back the years.
A history in smears,
crossing the paper.

Loneliness, cold.
The story has been told.
Keep on growing old,
together, yet apart.

Eyes closed, mind pragmatic.
Superimposed, thoughts eratic.
Diagnosed: melodramatic?
Memories enclosed in that attic.

Drowning visions in static.
Closed.