Tasslehoff

Untitled

For This I Gave Up Trying

Not Wanting To Hide In The Shadows

My Turn To Go The Other Way

The Pain To Great To Turn Around Again

Wishing I Would Die, Seemingly Easier That Way

No, Dont Come Near, You Dont Need To Bother

I Can Handle This Pain, Just A Repeat

I Am Just Falling Farther, Farther Into The Void

Standing All Alone In The Darkness

Aching Heart, Screaming Soul

Take Your Eyes Of Me, Burning With-In Me

Hate And Sorrow Surging Through My Veins

Thats very interesting Aardvark. I like it much though!

Tattered

I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time in life right now. I hope everything turns around and straightens out, and someday you will be able to stand tall with out breaking down..

About your poem... What strong words.. The raw emotions that flare thru them are amazing.. IT really pulls the reader in and makes you think.. makes you wonder.. Are our problems really that bad? Can they get worse.. This is by far, one of my favorites.. Very well done..

Welcome Bhurin.. I dont believe I have read any of your work, but non the less welcome.

Very short and quick there Vlad.. Well done.. Conveys a bit of imagery in such a small amount of words..

Well I decided I wanted to post this one seperate from my normal list because I am curious what all you have to say about this one.. I have thought and worked, and re-worked much on this one, and I feel its as far as it can go in my eyes. So here it is..

The Leave

Breathe In.. Breathe out,

One step after another; No looking back now,

Each day starts anew; But the pains stays the same,

There's no escape; World can't stop turning now,

Laying down next your gentle face; The pain flows through my veins like a poison,

Not wanting it to be this way, Thought of loosing you I disavow,

Sweet Dreams are made of you; Satin lips and tender kiss',

Knowing no matter what good I do; What wrongs I right,

The day will still come when I have to depart this wonderful bliss'

Leaving you in the past; Hoping to find you in the future,

Gentle face; How I will miss

Leaving your side.....

Does it have to be this way?

One step in front of another; It's all I can do,

For in my Heart and Soul I know you will stay

Breathe In.. Breathe out,

PS: I wanna thank Peredhil for helping me a bit on it. Thanks.

Reliving

They told me there was no way,

It just wasnt going to be happening,

Told me straight up it couldnt be done,

Just another damned battle that couldnt be won,

They throw me excuses; one right after another,

You know what I am talking about,

But you ignore it; Too stubborn; Too good for it all,

Trying to break through the walls,

Forcing my way in; Making a lil' room to breathe,

Pushing me out again; Slap in the damned face,

Down the steps I fall; Thrown back into my place,

Back to the hell; The hell I want out of,

Asking for your help; But your too damned stubborn; Too damned good for me.

Post comment in the Critics Corner.

Hey Master P! Happy Birthday

Another well written poem Jeff. Again a story that many people can relate too.. Its very good, I too like the last Stanza.. Bravo. *claps*

Is this the Sorciere, as in THE Sorcerie?

Dear Diary

Slowly rolling over I realize that the constant peeping in my ear is my phone ringing.. Yes.. at 8 something AM my phone decided it wanted to ring.. Slowly grabbing it and answering it; though I wished to send it flying across the room. After waking up a few seconds later I realize it is my girlfriend; Rachelle, wondering if we are still going to that car show.. Slowly mumbling something along the lines of : Umm. Ack.. bleh..Yea..Its early..Sure.. Be there pick you up at 10. I say my goodbyes and hang up. Slowly kicking off my two blankets [its summer time, no more ten million big ugly comforters] and wander off to take of the usual morning rituals.. Breakfast, Shower and well, waking up!

Well after finally waking up, I headed out into the bright sunlight to get into my truck and go pick up my lady.. After the usual 15 minute drive, [ I swear, I could drive these roads blindfolded ] I roll up to her Cabin and walk up to the door to meet her walking out into my arms.. Soon we are heading back towards town, except this time we stay on 1-5, merge into the fast lane, listenin to tunes and tear off down towards Red Bluff where we will catch 36 into Chico.

OOC: TBC at a later time. lol

Wyvernosis! Buddy, well, you will be missed this summer, but so will I, cause I know Summer means 2 things, well 3 now.. [ Work, The Lake, and Roadtrips! ]

WrenWind

That is very sad indeed, I myself at 18 have seen many deaths too unfortunatly.. As my dad is a firefighter I hear all the time about it.. its quite humbling.but as I know you do not wish to hear my life story more on your poem.. Its very good. Short.. Sweet.. Gets to the point.. Well not sweet, but you know what I mean, right? One thing I might sugest is change 19 to the word nineteen.. Might just fit in better, in my mind it does.. But thats not saying much for I am partially backwards.. :S

Falcon;

My friend, glad to hear the such event didnt transpire in your own world.. Very good news.. But onto the poem.. I like the flow.. The structure. its very good, it has depth.. It reaches out and touches you.. In my own mind, I started to visualize what was happening.. the words brought your poem to life, and to me, that tells me its a DAMN GOOD POEM.. Good Job man.. Glad your blocks gone!

Vlad..

*ponders on what to say*

Its a very well written poem. I like it much do to the simple fact that I can relate to the feeling.. Is it true, or is it just cause your all I have? [i hope all is well].. I've read it a few times... over and over again.. trying to think of comments for it, maybe hints or something , but I cant.. Its very good. I know I wouldnt change anything.. Very good Vlad.. Nice to read another of your post..

Rune, you scared me.

Congrats to those promoted.

You got my attention.

Oh. I am sorry Wolfe. I guess I mis-understood the poem. :S

You have much tallent my lady butterfly.. Very well written poem. I like how it tells a story.. very intruiging

The kenders stands up with a slight shuffle and appluads Mr Silver

That is a very nice simplistic poem.. Good one to help you get over that Writers Black monster.. Nice flow and smooth ryhmes.. See you soon?

*departs*

Very good writting Psimon.. Though scary as it is, very well written.. Kinda makes me a bit scared of Vlad, not that I wasnt already though.

What a trully sad and depressing poem you have there Mrs. Butterfly.. But I do say, thru the darkness shines the beautifullness [ I know its not a word.. I think ] of hte poem and its writing itself. Very well done.. I might just run off and read a few more of yours.

The Kenders slowly wanders the halls and as he rounds one of the many S-Bends in the Pens hall he happens to bump into a welcomed sight, his friend Vincent Silver.. After some idle-chatting and a few laughs they departs there ways and once again, the little kenders has picked up a new nick-nak. They call it the: "Writers Black". Un-known to the kenders little hands this wont be a very good thing to hold within his pouches, but like anyother kender, he just cant resist a possible adventure..

-hey. Welcome back Silver. Its nice to see you around here again.

*departs*