Preprise

Hmmm, I willl try it. I think it might not sing right though.

Great energy! Very enthusiastic!

I enjoyed this poem more than I enjoy french fries.

Very good observation! My wife says that the two main themes of my work are "reading people" and "addiction".

But Wind in Tow breaks away from this pattern.

This song is about a love that could have been but never was.

Intense emotions!

I like this- it's not often one finds cigarette smoking sounding attractive.

 

I especially enjoyed the third stanza; it read so much like an allegory of losing one's breath to a cigarette as allegory to love taking one's breath away than the whole rest of the poem; and did I see some reference to making her leave in "Then it blows them all away.

Then the wind no longer speaks.

There is nothing left to say."?

 

I tend to think not, because the last stanza is so peaceful and hopeful, but I got too curious not to ask.

 

 

There's this and 'Angry Horse'- is there an addiction pattern/series developing here?

Thank you so much for thinking about it. But I'm afraid I'm not sure what you're question is. Can you ask it again a different way?

Thank you!

You have a Placebo - like sound to you. I am likening you to the band, not the affect. But it's like placebo meets country. Almost. I like your guitar skills. I would love to get together with you with my cello. We could make some sweet music. You're very angsty. That song was like your musical punching bag. Did you feel good after singing it?

 

My favourite line was ~

"I can't lose

I can't win"

 

In regards to addiction I felt like I understood that thought. Like, you have nothing to lose and you feel like the situation was hopeless. Or even if you improve - what of it. None of it means anything anyway. Just reminds me of my constant battle with pointlessness... which in itself is a .... ~sigh~ huge waste of time.

 

Personally - I think you could serve to be a little more original - but at the same time you have this overall vibe/tone that is really unique and appealing and I liked it a lot. Look forward to seeing more from you

Thank you! I'm glad the song means something to you. Perhaps we could collaborate on-line...

I am currently in the process of re-recording these songs with better sound quality.

Oh, I wrote this about a very specific thing. It's about addiction.

Thanks Tan! I appreciate the comments!

I just realized I had omitted a verse. I'll check the vid if it's missing there.

Freaking awesome! I love this sooo much! It could use some expansion though. I'd totally try to build on this were I you.

Due to the title I had to read this. The poem did not disappoint. It's very rythmic and cryptic. I like it!

Liked both (ya sing as well as sling a guitar pretty well), but A) yeah, voice gives it more nuance & It'svague enough to be engaging and frustrating at the same time as I wonder about its possible meaning.

 

Seriously, it sounds good read or sung, very pleasing- and I don't get it.

Thank you! I appreciate your listening and comments very much As to what it means, well, what's it mean to you? Or what do you think it might mean?

You were my first cigarette.

You made me cough and took my breath.

Like my first cigarette.

Between you and I,

I let something pass us by.

Between you and I.

The wind whispers to the leaves.

Then it blows them all away.

Then the wind no longer speaks.

There is nothing left to say.

Between you and me,

I let something set us free.

Between you and me.

Very compelling and terrifying.

Very cool experiment!

Today I'm a boat.

Tomorrow I'm a sailor

Fighting off squids, chasing a wave.

Today I'm a book.

Tomorrow I'm a writer

Cursing and spitting at the page.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

Today I'm a goat.

Tomorrow I'm a mountain.

The faces of which can not fade.

Today I'm a floatTomorrow I'm a-marchin'.

Blowing my horn at your parade.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

When you tear away the full disguise

And find the center of my illusion.

I'll be far away from prying eyes

Sacrificing my delusion.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

very well done. I prefer the sung version, it conveys so much more nuance.

Thank you!

"Did you make your bed?" Tug's Mother mocked, "Dreams escape unmade beds you know."

Thank you Wyvern! I bought strings the other day and will string up within a few weeks. I'm starting a new job so am focusing on that first.

Interesting observation about the human-inhuman transitions. My intent was more to illustrate control, but am glad to see there's more layers to it than I previously thought.

Today I'm a boat.

Tomorrow I'm a sailor

Fighting off squids, chasing a wave.

Today I'm a book.

Tomorrow I'm a writer

Cursing and spitting at the page.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

Today I'm a goat.

Tomorrow I'm a mountain.

The faces of which can not fade.

Today I'm a float

Tomorrow a-marchin'.

Blowing my horn at your parade.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

When you tear away the full disguise

And find the center of my illusion.

I'll be far away from prying eyes

Sacrificing my delusion.

I can dress the part

And I can play the role.

I'm eyeing the sharks.

I'm eating them whole.

I'll be posting a performance of this song as soon as I buy new strings for my guitar.

"guts

that wrinkle

to a shallow shell"

I like those words.

I like this!

Definately digging it.

I like how you built most of the song over the same chord progression, only varying it in the end.

Keeping the music low key with the heavy muting is definitely a good thing in my book, but it makes the switch to ringing chords all the more sudden, and maybe a bit overwhelming. With the chorus -even when repeated- being a bit on the short side, it leaves me just getting into it when you lapse it out. It works though, and it might just be my headache talking right now.

 

One thing that does bug me is the hesitancy with which you enter the second verse, both the first couple of notes on the guitar and the complete first line of vocals. My own approach would be to make the first line "like the...tomb" run into eachother smoothly, instead of inserting a rest after 'closure'. This would create a bit of element of buildup, in advance of the chorus. Not to mention variance in something that may be percieved as 'more of the same' after the first verse immediately preceding it. Of course, there's something to say for keeping it in line with the rest as well.

 

Also, I'd cut a measure out of the break in between the two verses.

 

All in all, good stuff. Definitely catchy. I've been walking around with a tune like this in my head since a jam session two years back. This might exorcise it

Very good feedback Mardrax. One of the changes I made after listening to the performance, taking out a measure between the verses. As for the "like the...tomb" thing, I'll certainly try that. The loud open chords, I'm keeping them in. I like it like that and how it cuts out short. It fits the subject matter for me (a conversation with sin). Seems we think along the same lines though. I'd love to hear some of your stuff!