Psimon Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Goodbye to the days... ******************************** Cold morn, mist drifting on the lake saw my love her last breath take. Chilled to the bone, she felt no more cracked my heart at it's very core. Twas such as this, the time she passed my true love laid to rest at last. The pain no more held her tight sweet bliss, toward beckoning light. And now she's gone, I am alone to trudge the miles to what was home. With but a memory of her smile to warm my heart against the miles. I know she rests on soft, white wings amongst the cherubim she sings. The day will come that we shall be as once we were, she with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alaeha Posted April 29, 2003 Report Share Posted April 29, 2003 Really good... I like your poems and style a lot... But may I ask if you've ever tried writing in quatrains? (Rhyme scheme of ABAB or ABBA, rather than AA) I've found that there's a lot more freedom in quatrains than couplets, because you have longer to work toward each rhyme, if that makes sense... you might try it. (Tip: One thing that I stumbled across that helps me make it flow better is to shorten the B lines a little bit. One poetic foot, as it were) Just a thought... But I'll say again that I like this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psimon Posted May 1, 2003 Author Report Share Posted May 1, 2003 Quatrains (usually ABAB) are my preferred scheme. Definitely easier (for me too) to strike that balance between Rhyme and meter I must make time to read more of what others are posting though. It would almost certainly expand my creative horizons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted May 3, 2003 Report Share Posted May 3, 2003 I really like this. I love the story, and your AA scheme. Thank you so much for sharing. I find I really like your style and writings. I'll keep reading, you've made a fan out of me! ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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