Rahsash Geldich Posted January 25, 2003 Report Share Posted January 25, 2003 Its so real that it's surreal I am drowning in a sea Of ice and frigid water That is all surrounding me. I paddle to the side For suddenly it's a pool I pull myself out, look around Feeling quite the fool. A woman and her child Language all unknown Speaking so swiftly understanding unsown. I wander into the shack Perfectly dry and courious There's a woman by the window Another storms in furious The angry one has a gun And she points it to the first An unseen one calls from behind Here is what's the worst! I hear the gun go off The woman lets out a scream "I didn't shoot anyone!" reapeats But the Keep and I fall as a team I felt the bullet enter my head Three inches above my eyes I hit the ground painlessly The screams fade to sighs "You shot me" Leaves my mouth And I black out at her feet And in my bed I wake up What a bad morning to meet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rune Posted January 27, 2003 Report Share Posted January 27, 2003 Such a great poem! When I first started out I was confused and a bit lost, but the end just ties it all together and I sort of laughed at myself (realizing it was suposed to shift gears like it did). This is another one of those 3 emotion reads where your mind is bouncing all over the place so that your almost tired when your done reading it. Great job on the suspense and then pulling it all together. Thank you for sharing it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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