Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Transcribed by Minta Rose. Archmage Bulletin Boards, General Assembly Banquet Hall, June 2000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Brute The time is now for all idiots to rise up and conquer those few "smart people" that hold the good jobs. Our time is now!! We easily outnumber them by at least 3000 to 1. Come forth all idiots brave of heart and ready for rebellion!! We shall set humanity on its true course, one that includes the rise of idiots, the birth of new past time-Shiny Things, and many, many inhalents. With the rise of Idiocy and the fall of overall intelligence, we shall eliminate worries such as good stacks, strategy, and the exact thing that Holy grails do. So rise up, fellow idiots, and become the proud few to birth a new, if markedly less intelligent, breed of Humans. Of course, we will need lots of really bright flashlights to shine in the eyes of the smart people in order to overthrow those dwindling defects of the gene pool. So bring your biggest flashlight and I'll see ya at the next rally when we try it out on ourselves to test the results . Brute, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Joat116 AH, my eyes! *Joat removes the flashlight from his eye.* which way do I point this thing again? ------------------ Joat Demigod of Insanity Immortal of Shadows Bard of Terra Ager I AoA Manager for "Quest for Glory" Blitz I Now open for dueling Blitz II Now open for dueling All other servers Already commited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Zool Is mine on? These things should have a light or something on top to tell you if it's working or not... ------------------ Zool Former b1 Eradication Mage Prince of the Unincarnated Bard of Terra What Next?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Snypiuer Snypiuer can't understand why his flashlight just vibrates when he turns it on. He's thinking of giving it back to the lady in the leather armor he beat up for it. By the way, why'd she thank Snypiuer after he beat her up? And why did she say to come back any time Snypiuer wanted? And why did she sound like Bowser from Shanana? And why did she need to shave? There seems to be many a question in conection with this stupid flashlight! ------------------ Snypiuer Bard of Terra Demi-God of Suicide Squirrel Squadrons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Tzimfemme and Rydia "I think I need a new one," said Rydia, pressing the "rewind" button. "It's not holding the charge." She holds it up in the light from Joat's beam and presses "record", then "rewind", then changes her mind and presses "fast-forward", then "stop" because she's confused. ------------------ Server One Tzimfemme (the naked mage) Proud member of Calculus for the Masses! Honoree of "Nekkid Mages #1 Fan Club and Worshippers" Blitz One Rydia Immortal of Carp Adorned with Pearls Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods Constant Reader and Moderator Ager One Sossity Angels of Apocalypse Woman among Unicorns Constant Reader and Moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Snipe ::sticks 400 watt halogen bulb in mouth and bangs head on wall:: I think the battery is dead, this is gonna take months to organize ------------------ I'm the one your parents forgot to warn you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Dameon Damn..my flashthingy doesn't work it just kind of hummms and when i rest it against my arm it cuts all the hair off...why does it have the name remington on it... ------------------ Dameon, Wandering Bard Of Terra, Phantasm Lord Dark Trinity Guild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Shurak Shurak sits quietly at a table holding his flashlight. Next to him is an ever-increasing pile of spent matches. "[insert dwarven curse here] 1345, [insert dwarven curse here] 1346, [insert dwarven curse here] 1347... " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Racouol Racouol looks at his flashlight. "Aren't we suppose to plug this into a little dohicky. Or is this thing gas powered. Hey does anyone have an extention cord on them that I can borrow?" ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Finch When I turn mine on all it does is make noise and blow hot air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Luapen I can not be talked into using something I don't understand. Why is it called a flashlight. Mine does not flash. It stays on, a really long time, then dims out and dies. You replace the batteries and again, it comes on, and eventually dies. Now a Flash Bulb flashes. That makes sense. There is no FLASH in a flashlight. ------------------ Master of the Obvious Ruler of Inanimate Objects They stay when I tell them to STAY Protector of Gnomes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 brute Brute looks at the gathered mages and the deadly arsenal of flashlights among them. "Aahh...this is working out better than I had hoped." he mused to himself. Brute placed his own flashlight before him and pressed the lever. "Fellow Idiots," he addressed the growing crowd. "I am pleased to see you have arrived and that you all are able to demonstrate such proficiency at your flashlights. Those Smart People are certain to fall prey to our attack!" A small click from his flashlight caused Brute to look down. Two cooked pieces of bread sprung forth from the silver flashlight and struck him in the forehead, almost giving him a fatal scratch. After a few moments spent recovering, Brute smiled at the group of mentally inept mages milling about, waiting to test their own flashlights. Those Smart People were doomed!!!! Brute, Owner of the Decanter of Endless booze Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Snipe ok...I got mine to work, I went to the looney bin and got one of those cones they put on people so they won't bite people, I covered the inside with tin foil and put it on...ok I need somebodies help, after I put this bulb in my mouth pull my finger : Puts bulb in mouth and waits:: ------------------ I'm the one your parents forgot to warn you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Dameon Dameon's flashlight 'hummms' and he looks at it questioningly. He flicks a swithc and it begins to 'humm'faster. He looks up to the stage as Brute makes his speech and scratches his head with his flashlight. A scream of pain ensues as he realizes the flashlight is attacking him and has become tangles in his hair. He falls screaming to the ground as his flashlight continues it's relentless, hair raising attack.... ------------------ Dameon, Wandering Bard Of Terra, Phantasm Lord Dark Trinity Guild Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Snipe Snipe gets impatient pulls own finger and blinks at brilliant flash. I had no idea 400 watt halogen bulbs were this bright Snipe regains sight and walks over to Daemon and points head at him my flash light doesn't bit, you'd better bring yours back to the pound ------------------ I'm the one your parents forgot to warn you about Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Punchbox Scorn walks into the meeting late. Covered in dirt, twigs and moss in hair, claw marks all over his body, leg in a bear-trap, covered with leeches and ticks and bleeding everywhere. "I got lost when I lost the directions to the meeting." He then puts his hands in his pockets, recovering the map from it's lost place. Oh well. Scorn then holds out his flashlight. "Wait'll they get a load this. Those Smart People won't know what hit them" He then proceeds to hold out the flashlight, which seems to be a light-bulb impaled on a garbage-picking-stick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Swordmage *Grog the Troll wanders into the tavern, carrying a man in a long coat under his arm.* Erm... okey-dokey... wanned to join your party - so I got me one of dem light flashers. But, well, I'm not sure if this is really useful... I mean, if I am to hit people wif him, won't it be better if I got me a heavy un? *Grog sets the man down on the ground, so he can moisten his dry throat with a keg or two of ale after this uncharacteristically long speech. The man looks about confused, until his gaze falls upon a female mage... and he promptly flashes open his coat...* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Tesla Tesla enters brandishing his brand new Flashlight. "Heheh, this will show them", he thinks. Looking around at the various objects of delight, and not seeing many flashlights at all, he snorts with derision. "Ok, listen up! This is how to get your flashlights working!" With a last look around at the awed faces looking up at him, most of whom were decideley ugly anyway, Tesla pulls a rather tattered looking parchment from his robe. Following the ancient, complex scribings written on the parchment, he opens what looks like a strange cardboard box. Working hard for over an hour, Tesla proudly displays his brand new Flashlight. "There you go one brand new Flashlight!" Ignoring the muttering from the gathered Idiots about the new flashlight looking remarkably similar to a bookshelf, Tesla puts the spare screws back in his box,(he never did find out where they were meant to go), neatly folded the precious, ancient manuscript entitled "B&Q ltd." into his robe, and left the Hall in search of some Ol' Peculiar. ------------------ Tesla the Inept Bard of Terra B3 Moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Tzimfemme and Rydia Rydia tries to get her flashlight to work by pressing random buttons: "Play" as Dameon's Evil Attack Flashlight strikes. . . "Stop" as Snipe's flashlight burns out. . . "Reverse" as Scorn's flashlight pokes someone's eye out. . . "Record" as Grog's light flasher spots her. . . "Eeeeeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk!" shrills Rydia, who never was told exactly why boys and girls were different. She pushes the "Stop" button frantically until it stops. Grog shoulders his half-exposed burden and nods with satisfaction. "Rewind" as Tesla demonstrates his cherrywood-finish flashlight. . . Rydia stops and looks puzzled. No more flashlights? ------------------ Tzimfemme (the naked mage of Server One) Proud member of Calculus for the Masses! Honoree of "Nekkid Mages #1 Fan Club and Worshippers" Rydia adorned with pearls Immortal of Carp Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods Constant Reader and Moderator, Blitz One Sossity of Ager One Angels of Apocalypse Constant Reader and Moderator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Snipe Snipe pulls bulb out of mouth...shakes it and throws it out door, and promptly replaces it with a beer in mouth its not as bright this say...but atleast I'm happy ------------------ I'm the one your parents forgot to warn you about. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 The Grim Squeaker The Grim Squeaker sits placidly in the grass, gnawing on an odd object that seems to be part pitcher and is labeled across its base: puree, frappe, dice, liquefy. Anyone who gives him a look is flashed a Post-it: _____________________________________________ What? The guy at the black market said it was a flashlight. _____________________________________________ ------------------ The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the Priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Treant Hill Mob, App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Scarlett O'Harpy Gazes at Brute - the self-confessed idiot and owner of the decanter of endless booze. Shifts eyes right to Shurak who is still playing with matches and cursing benignly. "Okay people, let's get ready to FLAMBE!" Takes a moment to pass a delicately ethereal note to TGS. Calligraphed impeccably in red ink, it reads: "Get a refund. You wuz robbed." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Racouol Finally Racouol gives up hope that his flashlight can be pluged into something. Somehow he manages to get it opened only to see two objects fall out of it. "What are these?" Racouol then puts one of the objects into his mouth and starts chewing it while poring gasoline into the now empty space. He manages to put the flashlight together and tries to turn it on. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 18, 2002 Report Share Posted January 18, 2002 Scarlett O'Harpy Harpy is just about to hand Racouol the extension cord she withdrew from her Pouch of Random but Handy Items when she sees the flood of gasoline pouring over his flashlight. "Oh so THAT's how you get these pesky things to work", she muses. She considers her own flashlight sagely. Currently it is a tangle of wire and plastic emanating a subdued ticking. "Oh well, nothing ventured..." She politely borrows a little gasoline and bastes her device liberally. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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