Guest Minta Rose Posted November 21, 2001 Report Share Posted November 21, 2001 (because Joat's not here often, and Boaz not at all.) Quote: Shurak (#1402) wrote; I leave you guys alone for a night, and this ends up on the board *grins* I thought that it was pretty funny, though. Nothing like completely random satire to lighten one's day Regards, Shurak Whitefist, the dwarven illusionist ~~~ Quote: Boaz (#1751) wrote; I just cleaned the ' off of the story to make it easier to read. Joat and I thought that the hall seemed a little down tonight and decided to try and give it some life. We hope you enjoyed. Brought to you by Joat/Boaz productions. ~~~ Quote: joat116 (#3536) wrote; Whenever I attack a green those stupid treents of theirs reach up and grab my weak flying units. I think that the developers need to change the game to make treents shorter. Also If treents were shorter than my hydras cold bite the tender foilage more easily. Either that or red should get a spell called herbicide. It would make the treents wither and have exactly the opposite effect as plant growth. Joat ************************************************** Quote: Boaz No, No, No, joat, Treants aren't too tall, there arms are too long, they need to shorten the treants arms. Red needs a new unit, Red Garaffe, that way they could reach the top without shortening the treants. You don't want to give treants an inferiority complex by making them short do you? If red gets herbicide, then green needs to get the item "fire extenguisher", that would put the Dragons pilot light out, and then red would need the item "zippo lighter". Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat Listen you fool. I say treents are to tall. I have been playing this game for 6 years. On top of that I am currently ranked #1 and am more attractive than you. What you propose is ridiculous. Do you want little stubby armed treents running around trying to hit things with their nubs. No my way is the only way it can be done. Oh by the way what the hell is a Garaffe did you not attend years 1-7 of your education. Everyone knows it is spelled Garafe. Treents are to arrogant anyway they diserve a inferioity complex. As for the items you proposed they are extremly stupid. Everyone knows that dragons fire comes from eating to much salamander chili which can only be quenched with water elementals. joat ~~ Quote: Boaz rrreeeaaalllyyyy???? Well I have been playing for 10 years, My mother looks better than yours, and since you want to know I didn't have to attend 1st-7th grade because I was too smart. I started in high school, and a Garaffe is a taller cousing to the "Garafe" which doesn't exist on terra, THANK YOU! about the hitting with nubs, sounds like you on your honeymoon. Treants don't deserve another inferiority complex, they already have one because they look like you. My items are perfectly good, you need the lighter to light the gas stove to cook the chili. And what makes you the expert on chili? It take ice elementals to quinch chili breath, and those would be tightly packed into the extenguisher.HELLO! Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat Ok this proves that you are the stupidest person in Terra. A lighter to light a stove in salamander country? What do you think the 5000 degree tempeture from their bodies isn't enough to cook the chili. And ice elementals in a can? Where did you get that idea? From Ron Popeil? (he invented the electric food dehydrator) Oh and for you information I have no mother. I am a sentient computer program on an alien spaceship orbiting your planet. I'll make sure you're the first to go when we invade. Same thing goes for the nub comment. Here's a little joke my fellow programs tell about people like you. 00100101011010101001011001001010110101010101011 00101010101001000101010101010010101010101011010 10001010101010101010010101110101001010100100100 01101010101010101010101010010010101001010101010 10101011001011010101010101100101101010101010101 01010101010101010101010101000101010101. Ha if you ever decode that I'm sure You'll die of shame Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz Like I said I'm so smart I didn't have to go to the 1-7th grade, and I am a computer systems engineer. So I know what the message says, " What do you get when you take the first two numbers from this sequeince? joat's IQ". Also you are programed in basic, and probably have a microsoft emblem on your butt. I can tell this by the obviouse nerd alert I hear when you talk. also I think sentinent is debatable when talking about you. You remind me of something I used to play on my Commador 64. Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat Ok you stupid carbon based lifeform you just brought the end of your planet down 300 years premature. But first I'm sending my minions down to get you. By the way you heard this one? How many Boazes does it take to screw a light bulb. I don't know but if he doesn't get any women soon where going to find out. Since your obviously to stupid to get that I'll explain it. I'm commenting on your lack of sexual experience and the fact that you would engage in sexual intercourse with a lightbulb. Also I just wanted to point out that if I was a person on your world the day I was programmed I would be able to skip all schooling and take over your world. So your seven grade skip is nothing to me. I have subroutines that are smarter than you. By the way I was created by microsoft who do you think the aliens are? Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz What do you mean 300 years premature? This world ended the day clinton was elected!!(and you say I need light bulbs, imagine being stuck with hilary for the last couple dozen years! and chealsy, my god who did hilary cheat with, Billy Bob?) Minions? you mean those little green men? just the right heigth for you aren't they? Hey, leave my personaly life out of this!!! (and I am only attracted to sockets, of the opposite sex of course, get it right.Shessshhhh!!!) also I'm not the one that is into cattle molestation and doing body cavity research on 40 year old drunks. you are probably the one responsable for about half of all the cindy margolles downloads too, right? The only reason I didn't skip right into college is that my parents thought I was too cute and that the college girls would not be able to handle having me around. I always though Al Gore was an alien, he has 2 facial expressions, asleep and awake. Boaz P.s. If you try invade earth I will nuke your email account, and give you the compuer version of all the STD's around. ~~ Quote: Joat Hey those cows and drunks were RESEARCH. I know you've never heard the word but it is useful. We determined that drunks and cows were the smartest beings on your planet so we needed to know about them. Hey we didn't put any politicians on this planet. You actually think a intergalactic civilization has people stupid enough to do that? Those guys are all naturally born humans. Maybe you could grow up to be the next president. You certainly have the intelligence for it. Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz R-E-S-E-A-R-C-H? Hmm lets see what does that mean in alien? Oh I know Recieve Exited Sexual Experiences And Reach Climatic Highpoint Well that is cleared up. Sure I will be the next President. I will get elected for kicking the butts of all you freaky alien computers or FAC's. Have you seen Independence Day? Well get ready for the sequal!!! Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat WOW! did you come up with that all by yourself or did your mommy help you. I have to say you are the stupidest person I have ever met. Additionally your appearence is lacking in many ways. Also your mother says your sexual performance is unsatisfactory. Your position among your peers is as low as possible. Finally Perhaps your sexual orientation is inverted to the norm. At this point you must be feeling pretty low. Hopeless perhaps. Go with that feeling and kill yourself. Yes that's it stick the gun in your mouth and pull the trigger. Be sure to hit that Medula. Oh your to stupid to know what that is. Well that's to bad. Joat PS Ha see what happens when you threaten me ~~ Quote: Boaz 1.no, your Mom helped me, last night.(I know, I know, you don't have a mom, you are a supercomputer from outerspace). 2. You must not be too smart if you came here to earth looking for intelegent life, I am the only one you will find. 3. your dad says that your sexual performance is unsatisfactory, your family pet too. 4. at least I don't get mine through a coaxel connection. 5. The medula oblongata, the hostility section of the brain, I do watch movies you know. 6. your mother says to tell you that you should check you gludamus maximus, she says you don't wipe well.*S* Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat You must be getting pretty desperate if you keep refering to my non-existant parentage. I being a computer have no family nor do i have a pet. Actually if you went to class instead of watching all those movies you would know that the medula is the autonomous part of your brain responsible for organ function. It is located at the base of the brain which is why people shoot through the mouth (at the other side is the medula). AND I HAVE NO BUTTOCKS. Hey here's irony for you. You're trying to argue with something 5000 years older than you 100 times smarter than you and it has a army primed and ready to go at the touch of a button. Who's the smart one here. Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz joat, I did not wish to tell you this but I am one of the last of a long linage of superhumans. My people told me the stories of a crazed semisuper computer with delusions of grandure suffering from megalomania, and the IQ of a parrot.We are decendants of aliens, the aliens that created you. I know what you are programmed to say, and I have lead you to this point. I have now had time to find where you are hiding and will be there soon to destroy you. The legends said that you would come and that when you did you a chosen one would have to stand up to you. I am he!!! Mighty Mouse to save the DAY!!!! Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat Oh I'm so scared. It's mighty mouse. Here let me get my army of kittens to protect me. What are you going to do knaw my shoes? Eat my cereal? Or are you like those cartoon mice Pinky and the Brain. Either way you have no chance to defeat me. I have anticipated your every move and am ready to counter it. Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz I am a GIANT mouse thank you very much. if this were about pinky and the brain, you would defenatly be pinky and the brain, half wit, and always fail. I am just like superman,only furry, better looking, and no dandruff. I have no weakness, there is nothing that can stand before me. You do seem like the type that would have an army of kittens though. If you wish to see how I know you will lose, just look at all the movies, StarWars, The Conan movies, space balls, etc. Hollywood has foretold my victory. Boaz ~~ Quote: Joat I have seen all those movies and I have defenses against all of them. You can't jam my radar with strawberry jam. You can't use the shwartz. I have no death star to blow up. Arnold Swarzeneger is old now. You have no chance and besides Agricolae told me your weakness. GREEN CHEESE. Now I have lined my ship with it and am shooting pieces of it randomly about the earth. It's only a matter of time until a piece smacks you upside the head draining you of your powers and slowly killing you. HAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I can not be defeated!!! Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz Agricolae is on my side and he helped me. I knew that you would find out about the weakness shown on T.V. cartoons, and I planned for that. The T.V. showed that I was weak to green cheese, that is a LIE!!! I am weak to blue cheese, I have bought all the blue cheese in the world and it is now destroyed!! Green cheese makes me stronger!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! I am a few hundred yards from your ship now and will soon have your head on a plater! Boaz P.s. there is one movie that I didn't mention and you will fall by that plot! ~~ Quote: Joat Oh ummm... crap. Well platter has two t's so HA. Joat ~~ Quote: Boaz Boaz the mighty mouse makes a note that plater has 2 t's, and prepares himself for the final assault. He doubts that anyone will servive the attack, even himself. He flies 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, miles away to get a flying start. He speeds towards the spaceship at 20 times the speed of light, and hopes that he can break throught the forcefields...as he hits the fields he sees a bright flash through his tightly shut eyelids, and then......darkness.... Boaz ~~ Quote: As both mighty mouse and Joat the computer regain concisnous they notice a huge head hovering above them. "Oh my god" says Joat "It's Colonel Sanders" "Yes it is I" the giant head booms "and finally I have gathered enough power to destroy the universe. I called you here to explain my evil plan so you could somehow stop me." "But if you destroy the universe how can I rule it." asked Joat "You can't you fool. We must join our forces to defeat him." shouted Mighty Mouse. "Very well then" Suddenly Joat snapped his...?keyboard? and hundereds of kittens leaped out of the darkness onto the Colonel. "That will distract him now I'm going to calculate the exact point you must tickle him to make him laugh uncontrollably." Joat said. "But what good will that do." "after he starts laughing we'll poor milk into his mouth forcing him to laugh and drink. Then the milk will come out his nose dribbling down his chin. Since he has no hands he can't clean himself. As a result he won't destroy the universe." "Why not" "Would you destroy the universe while you had milk on your chin." "Oh I get it. Ok let's go!!" The plan went as...well planned and the universe was saved thanks to... Mighty Mouse and Joat the computer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jechum Posted December 17, 2001 Report Share Posted December 17, 2001 I'm still confused, are treents too tall or are their arms to long? Jechum Newbie, Mage of Shadows the Pen is Mightier than the Sword - Lore Master Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts