Vincent Silver Posted May 19, 2002 Report Share Posted May 19, 2002 Another one of my "free flow" poems this one is dosen't ryhme but it displays the state of mind I'm in right now, You stand so far away My love does not help you You keep us all away Even though we love you Take to heart what your love one are doing for you And many hardtime you will surrive through We will always help even if we are not wanted Becayse we love you trufully and forever By:Blake A. Cooley Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 *Gyrfalcon applauds* Sounds like a lament for a friend or family member who's having trouble and trying to go it alone. Well done, Vincent. *smiles* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vincent Silver Posted May 20, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Yeah I know my father is on medication for his...brain,and he dosen't want us to help... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Jess Posted May 20, 2002 Report Share Posted May 20, 2002 Have you showed him this poem? It might help. It's well written and he may appricieate what you do more if you give it to him in writing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xradion Posted May 21, 2002 Report Share Posted May 21, 2002 EDIT it first, thought! You stand so far away My love does not help you. You keep us all away Even though we love you. Take to heart what your loveD oneS are doing for you And many hardtimeS (or hardships) you will surVive (superfluous 'through' deleted). We will always help even if we are not wanted BecaUse we love you truTHfully and forever. (Sorry, I know it's free-flowing, but I just couldn't help myself. I am an advocate of preventing type-o's. If you catch any in my poems, or have a suggestion about word choice, then by all means, let me know). I have taken the liberty of editing this poem. I have added punctuation, and have capitalized spelling errors I corrected. Anyway, I like the poem a lot. Very heartfelt. Keep up the good work! I agree with Jess. At any rate, I wish you (and your father) the best of luck in your future endeavors. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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