Lady Celes Crusader Posted May 7, 2002 Report Share Posted May 7, 2002 After countless hours of road, Lili finally arrvies in Platinum beach, a resort town busy during summer. But it wasn't summer yet, and the city looks asleep. The young tourist, who's weraing blue jeans, a white t-shirt with a short jean jacket and leather boots at her feet, drives her little red car around the town, searchiing for a decent motel to sleep in. She drives in the city, knowing that foreign her liscense plate will catch instant attention. But the city was empty. She continues to sruvey the numerous vacant motels that are aligned along the beach, one next to another, all vacant or still close. She finally chooses a three-stars motel and checks in for a room equipped with a jacuzzi, getting an amazingly low off-season price. Once she moved her stuff in the room, Lili walks in the motel's vicinity and takes the elevator to the top floor, where she can see the calm beach from there. So quiet, even the closed attraction park nearby looks so empty. She closes her eyes and imagines the streets peopled with tourists, the beach crowded with kids building sand castles, with women tanning their skin under the warm sun. She can hear the cheers of young and not so young in the park's rollercoasters. But when Lili opens her eyes again, she only sees the silence and the lonelyness around her. The sun had set, leaving a dark surrounding for her to look at. The lone tourist decides to head back for her room and to try out that jacuzzi tub. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Xradion Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 I like it. The end confuses me a little. I'm not sure if you are trying to say something with the jacuzzi at the end or not, but either way, it conveys the feeling very eloquently. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyrfalcon Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 *Gyrfalcon applauds* An interesting short story, and it leave the question in my mind: Does the town just seem empty because there are no tourists in it, or is deserted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Celes Crusader Posted May 8, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 That was based upon my visit to Wilwood (NJ). The things that stuck both Styler and I was the humongous number of motels, that are aligned next to each other and the empty feeling with the absence of tourist. We've seen very few people there in the streets so it really felt asleep. Me and Styler kept imagine the same place in July. And yes, bathing in a jacuzzi tub for cheap feels SOOOOOOOOO good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Minta Rose Posted May 8, 2002 Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 Wildwood in July = milling, gawking hordes of teenagers, unable to function from all the bared skin around them. Obnoxious phrases bellowed from the tops of water slides, followed by a yell as the shouter was nudged down the slide too early. Every variety of splash designed to soak others at poolside. Gigantic fluffy toys dwarfing the girls that carry them like shields. Walls of noise at every ice cream stand, saltwater taffy shop, hamburger and hot dog vendor. Cars quaking from bass and overloading, crawling down the gridlocked streets after dark. (The beach held little interest, except for the thrill seekers trying to maneuver bodyboards on the pitiful New Jersey waves.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Celes Crusader Posted May 8, 2002 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2002 I've described Wilwood in late April and I think its much better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted May 11, 2002 Report Share Posted May 11, 2002 hiya, I know i'm alittle late on this.... but i like what you wrote. I'm not the best with complementing of the use of style, imagiary, or setting with depth and meaning of thought... But i just like to say, that i like it, and it reads like a passage from a right out of a published work... that's all... revery the dreamlost Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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