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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Dawgrim's Reek ep. 7: Double D (Daring Dawgrim)


Wyvern

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Last time, on Dawgrim’s Reek…

 

*Cue an extreme close-up shot of a cross on a chain, with tiny wisps of smoke failing to obscure the creamy flesh surrounding it.*

 

Skirla Innosensual, New Girl in School, introduced herself with all the shyness and timidity expected of a newcomer at Gobulard Academy.

 

*Cue an extreme close-up shot of Skirla’s moist pink lips hovering next a boom mic, parted ever so slightly as if ready to swallow it whole*

 

Having befriended Dawgrim as a study partner and having already put him through several all-nighters worth of intense studying, Skirla has offered a whole new meaning to the word “cram session” at Gobulard. All thanks to her responsibility and clear stance on chastity.

 

*Cue an extreme close-up of the back of Skirla’s short plaid skirt in motion, giving the audience an idea of what Blarr must have been panting over in the last ep.*

 

But with Blarr preparing a new evil scheme, and the Home Hogswill crown hanging in the balance, will our hero Dawgrim be able to step up to the plate and show the Academy what sort of hunk he truly is?

 

*Cue a distant shot of Dawgrim, looking tiny in the distance as he glances over an encyclopedic tome cradled in his arms. He looks up from the pages of the Sex Ed manual with an excited and slightly bewildered look on his snout.*

 

Find out, on a brand new episode of Dawgrim’s Reek.

 

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The cameras flicker on to the familiar back-drop of the Gobulard Academy Library, which is almost identical to the setting of the very first episode of the soap in its simplistically titled sections and mead keg drinking fountains. While the re-hashed setting screams “geld savings in design,” a few new sets of tables have been scooted into the Mighty Pen Library for the occasion, with each of them bearing a crooked sign with a particular purpose in mind. A table with chains and shackles labeled “Detenshun tayble” sits in a dark corner between a rack of hard cover “Armor” books and a wide row of collectible orcish punishment magazines, just waiting for an unfortunate goblin with an overdue book... though judging by the table’s coat of dust, truly literate goblins seem to be hard to come by. Elsewhere, in a brighter corner of the Library, a table with major dents riddling its surface labeled “Book Clubbing Club” rests adjacent to the “Weapon” and “Hobee” shelves, with a tattered “1001 Good Ways to Use a Book” tome resting in one of the table’s many indentation marks. The cameras pan over the rest of the library, and pass by a “Chyldrin’s” table and a tiny “Studee” table before arriving at the “Kool Kids” table. The title of the show immediately blocks the characters seated at the table from view.

 

Dawgrim’s Reek

Sponsored by Almost Dragonic Brand Counterfeit Library Cards™

 

“So…” Blarr leans forward, forcing a grin through his darkened shades. The interior lenses of his sunglasses contain pictures of the troglyodyte previously scheduled to play Skirla, in an effort to prevent any more unnecessary gaping accidents. “Is it a dare?”

 

Dawgrim scratches a claw over his wig of fine hair at the opposite end of the table, reading over the script in front of him with an air of uncertainty.

 

“Lemmee get thisss straight. You’re daring me to asssk Skirla-” Dawgrim squints at the script’s choice of words in disbelief. “One of the ‘plainest and most boring’ gals at Gobulard, out to Home Hogswill?”

 

“That’s right. And if you do ask her out, and act as her date over there, then I will swear off of Academy girls for the next six years.” Blarr leans back in his seat and suppresses an evil grin, not wanting to reveal his true intentions of stealing the Home Hogswill crown when the judges get a load of Dawgrim and Skirla. “Here’s your chance to end my Evil Orcy days for good, Dawgrim ol’ pal! Consider this my atonement… that is, if you ain’t chicken.”

 

Dawgrim tugs at the open collar of his beige suit shirt as he continues reading through his dialogue, trying to find a proper tone of voice to deliver his lines in but finding his own feelings a little far removed from the script’s chosen adjectives.

 

“Well… She’sss a bit ‘dull,’ but I’m always up for a challenge. Especially when it comes to stealing the ‘pure.’” Dawgrim brushes one claw through his wavy hair and places his other on his imitation gold belt buckle, winking at the cameras with a sly look on his snout. “It’s a dare.”

 

“Great.” Blarr shakes Dawgrim’s claw with an evil grin, then points over in the direction of a long shelf of books. “Why don’t you go and ask her right now? She’s browsing over there, on the other side of that fiction rack (or at least that’s what.the script says, I can’t actually see with these glasses)”

 

Dawgrim nods and immediately hops to his feet, his eyes brightening over the thought of more Skirla camera time. The Gobulard Academy hunk makes sure his wrist collars are properly buttoned, pops an Almost Dragonic Brand Magma Flavored Breath Sizzler™, and swings his tail with a swagger as he struts his way over to the shelf where Skirla is browsing. He passes by a handmaiden in a sexy librarian outfit, paying her no mind as he leans against the opposite side of the shelf where Skirla browses. He waits until he spots the familiar color of Skirla’s nail polish as she reaches for a title, then hisses to her between the tiny crevices of the books.

 

“Skirla. Fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Dawgrim.”

 

Dawgrim goes a tiny bit red at the innosensual sound of Skirla’s voice, his eyes and feet immediately following her finger as it smoothly trails along the tops of the titles on display. He follows the finger as it moves progressively deeper into erotic fiction territory, leading him closer and closer to the end of the shelf.

 

“So, I did my homework for that part of the assignment you gave me…” Dawgrim adlibs in a dreamy voice, the script suddenly not quite as important as Skirla’s finger trail. “It made a lot more sense after you showed me how to do it first-hand...”

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Skirla comes to the end of the shelf and saunters over to perch on the edge of the detenshun table, toying with a rusty shackle as she crosses her legs, swinging them idly.

 

"I'm so glad your homework went well Dawgrim." Signe stays carefully in character, gazing up at him with her shyest expression, long braids of black hair falling over her shoulder. "Do you think there'll be a pop quiz on erections today? Is that why you're in the library, to study... erections?" the succubus uncrosses her legs, her schoolgirl costume barely covering the tops of her thighs.

 

"Ahhh....." Dawgrim is momentarily paralyzed, until the sexy librarian scoops the doctored sunglasses off Blarr's face and shoves them onto Wyvern's. Recoiling slightly from the image of the trog suddenly shoved between him and Skirla, Dawgrim manages to respond "ah, no Skirla, that's not why I'm here. ahem. Skirla. I am here because Home Hogswill is coming up and I'm hoping that you would like to go. Err, with me." Dawgrim peeks over the sunglasses to see Skirla's reaction.

 

"Oh, Dawgrim," she replies breathlessly, her eyes wide. "I didn't expect you to ask, I mean, you're so popular and you have such nice hair, and me, I'm -" Here Signe pauses to check the script taped to the side of a nearby bookcase. "I'm so plain and unpopular, and I know you could find someone sexier than me?" Skirla's voice is doubtful, but she shrugs and continues anyway. "And I can't go... you know no one who's failing a class is allowed to go, and I just know I'm going to fail sex ed! Instructor Ashur just hates me."

 

Skirla crosses her legs again, looking down sadly. "if I can't pass the next tests, on foreplay and lingerie, I won't be able to come with you!"

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Dawgrim scratches his wavy toupee over Skirla’s Sex Ed woes, once again trying to apply the character of Skirla to Signe and having a hard time with the logic of it all. His thoughts are put on hold at the mention of the specific tests that Skirla is studying for, however, and his "thinking" returns to the state of the study aid in his pants as he throws his protective glasses to the side. The toss is made with such wild excitement that the glasses fly across the room and land on the inert body of Blarr, who is once again writhing in a puddle of his own drool over the generous Skirla visuals.

 

“F-f-fore-l-lingerie?” Dawgrim jumbles the words along his tongue as his eyes focus on the position of Skirla’s legs, glancing up ever so often to check on the position of her finger on the shackle or the gleam in her eyes. He shakes his head a bit to get a grip, only to croak as Skirla shifts her legs again, sliding them smoothly against each other before crossing them in the opposite direction. “*Ahem* Err, I m-mean…”

 

Wyvern scrambles for his script, holding it up with a trembling claw to see what he means.

 

“I-I mean, d-d-don’t give up hope on Home Hogssswill yet Skirla! There’s still plenty of time to study, and w-we can work through the subjects together. After all, h-how hard can a lingerie test really be? I mean, you’re already wearing some now, right?”

 

Skirla slowly leans back, casually pulling at the neckline of her white blouse and staring down into it. She turns to Dawgrim with a calculated expression of sadness and slowly shakes her head.

 

“OH.” Dawgrim stammers for a moment, his tail painfully rigid over the new development. “Uuuuuhhhhhhhh… uhm. N-n-nothing we can’t fixxx. I can uhhh, show you some lingerie, I should have some around here somewhere.”

 

Dawgrim begins digging through his pockets for panties, fumbling through a variety of undergarments borrowed from Signe’s drawers and getting his claws tangled in a bit of black lace. Skirla shifts herself off of the Detenshun Tayble as she watches him squirm, moving towards him with that leisurely walk of hers.

 

“And what about foreplay?” Skirla watches as Dawgrim suddenly stops rummaging through his pockets, cracking a smile over his new awareness of how close she’s standing. She lifts a finger to her lower lip in as innocent a manner as she can muster. “Is that… playing with foreskin?”

 

“Uhhh no. I mean, yes!” Dawgrim’s breathing practically steams out of him as he flails for a response. “No, uh yes, errr, sssometimes…?”

 

The cameras wobble back and forth with Dawgrim’s response, their circuits buzzing a tad over the heat of this week’s acting, the cameramen having ceased to pay attention to the technical side of things. The screen goes plaid as Signe seizes the opportunity to step outside the script, her tossed schoolgirl skirt dropping conveniently over the lens.

 

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Next time, on Dawgrim’s… is she…? oh wow.

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