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Katzaniel

Feedback?

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Hey,

 

I'm hungry to provide some in-depth feedback for somebody but I'm not sure which stories people are currently desiring it for. Some random clicking in the Assembly Room showed me some short pieces that would be hard to give really meaty criticism for and some longer ones that I don't want to spend the time to read and criticize unless I know in advance that the feedback would be useful/desired.

 

Please post here if you have either a story that you're either looking to improve, or something that you think you can learn from feedback on it whether you're planning on going back to that specific story or not. Make sure it's something that you're not too sensitive about as I plan to dish out the bad as well as the good. If it's very long, expect me to take longer to get back to you. Also if there's a big clamouring of people signing up here... :P Anyway, please give me a link to a specific story or portion of a story and I'll do my best.

 

Also please keep in mind that I have nothing to qualify me as being a better writer than anybody else here, but I am a big believer that if you're writing for readers, there shouldn't really need to be any qualifications to know if you liked it or not and why.

 

Thanks!

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Katz, I have a very old beginning of a story/tale posted at the Room of Fiery Hearth...

http://www.patrickdurham.net/themightypen/index.php?showtopic=15940

 

Feel free to dissect it! I'd be more interested in the smoothness and flow, not that much about grammar unless it's something horrible :P I'm not a story-teller, and I'm aware I lack description and dialogue skills... unless I'm writing with someone else then I can almost RP things instead of just relying on my prose skills :P

 

For your reference, I started it as an exercise for the first or second Carnival... and then it ended up being too long for what I wanted; I don't remember if I have posted it somewhere else, but I do remember I asked you (at the time) to take a look on it. I don't really have plans for that story, and honestly I don't even remember where I wanted to take it to (if I ever had such a plan :P). At the time I posted it at the SWG, it had turned more into some kind of exercise.

 

Thank you!

Oh, and if I fail to answer anything you might write/comment on that, please take into account how busy I am! It wouldn't be for any kind of "hurt feelings" ;)

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Wyvern barges into the Critic's Corner and darts over to Katzaniel faster than you can say "oh my God, it's Wyvern and he's requesting feedback RUN!" The overgrown lizard grins and begins digging through his belt pouch as he skids to a halt, panting tiny smoke rings before turning to Katzaniel with a glimmer in his eyes.

 

"Thankssss for the generous feedback offer, Katz! I could actually use some feedback on this." Wyvern pulls out a video tape and hands it to Katzaniel. "This is one episode of my weekly Almost Report, chosen randomly for your reviewing pleasure. Take a look see."

 

Almost Report Episode 99

 

"Asss for the feedback rubric, I'd really appreciate if you could fill out this Almost Dragonic Brand Almost-a-Questionnaire™ on the subject."

 

Wyvern hands a crumpled sheet of paper reeking of booze to Katzaniel, which reads:

 

---

 

Almost Dragonic Brand Almost-a-Questionnaire™

 

Please read the following statements and rank them as "copper" (disagree somewhat), "silver" (neutral-ish), or "geld" (strongly agree) depending on your personal reactions to the program.

 

1) The sound quality of the Report was crystal clear.

 

2) The time of day that the Report was broadcast on was chosen well.

 

3) The lighting cues on the Report made it seem as though there were no lighting cues.

 

4) Wyvern looked incredibly handsome (note: only “silver” or “geld” options are available for this number)

 

5) The Almost Dragonic Brand Product placement effectively persuaded you to look into the items on sale.

 

6) The pennite’s quarters were properly abused.

 

7) The Report was not almost nearly inoffensive to Pen felines.

 

8) The camera work on the Report focused on CheerMynx's finer assets enough.

 

9) The subliminal advertisements on the Report made it seem as though there were no subliminal advertisements.

 

10) CheerMynx looked sexier than ever.

 

11) The make-up artists did a good job with their incorporation of scale enlightening powder.

 

12) The news was reported in a biased and almost dragonic manner.

 

13) This Almost-a-Questionnaire makes you want to see the next Almost Report and/or donate your geld to Almost Dragonic Inc.

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