Silver WInd Posted March 2, 2008 Report Share Posted March 2, 2008 The New Age It dropped like a hard rock a lump that formed in the pit of the stomach Old pages crumpled on the floor flashes of the news spilled out everywhere Something was lost by the clowns writing about channel 5 and subway stations In a heart beat a truth was stolen love left to plunder only dry words nicely arranged will remain Was it a true death or a new birth those who preach against the ages No longer something of meaning lay bear tenderness evaporated passion a distant memory for the heart It all became hard edges angled lines framed to look somehow unframed but bitterly technical So we close our eyes and try to hold onto something that was once real before it completely dies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
reverie Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 (edited) Mighty fine, indeed. Only suggestion: Old pages crumpled on the floor (either put a colon, common, or dash here OR change "flashes" to "flashed" either way one mark of punctuation won't really take away from its lack in the rest of the poem. It's like the well placed flaw giving perspective/humanity to a figure in a painting). flashes of the news spilled out everywhere Edited March 8, 2008 by reverie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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