The eagle with the pigs.

[OxygenPlant]

It's not that someone clipped your wings.
More alike to lathering them in mud.
A voluntary act.
Agendas to make one curious.
Now with wings so heavy,
you lay before me limp.
I stand the saddest witness,
no one likes to see an eagle fall.
I turn with your trend,
and claim a heavy heart.
Though not mud covered,
something less clear,
not transparent.
I am before you throwing water
in looks and thoughts of mine.
I wish to cleanse you,
to have you back,
and watch you fly.
I have seen you in your glory,
You wings spread and shining.
The amazement that you bring me,
you tuck inside your wing.
Why do you fold it so,
and hide everything.
The eagle with the pigs.
Although rumours insist,
no, they do not fly.

[Wyvern]

Very good poem, OxygenPlant. :-) The image of the eagle lathered in mud really stood out to me, especially in the beginning of the poem where the phrasing and comparison to the common image of "clipped wings" really drove the dirty details home. The poem felt very focussed thematically, with hints of patriotism and the degradation of society strung throughout it, which made for an intriguing read. The ending of the poem, though quirky and more comical in tone than the rest of the poem, was also cleverly done. One thing I should note is that I tended to like the areas of the poem that focussed on the image of the fallen eagle and its various connections and meanings more than the areas of the poem that focussed on the narrator and his/her feelings towards the eagle... the parts that put the limelight on the narrator were not quite as interesting to me. The part about "throwing water/ in looks and thoughts of mine" felt awkward to me in particular, as the narrator's heroism there seems sort of out of place to me when the poem is about the fallen eagle. Still, this is very well done overall, with strong uses of spacing and language. Thanks for sharing it here, OxygenPlant. Nice to see some writing from you again. :-)

[Da_Yog]

I always like poetry that speaks of one thing in terms of another. The characterization of a persons potential as an eagle wallowing in a pig pen was very interesting and thought provoking. I definitely like the bones of this poem.

[OxygenPlant]

Hey wyvern, that was really effective feedback. Thank you. Im suprised that I understand and agree. Although the references are essential to what was behind the poem, in a sense. I'm not sure how to better explain that one.

 

Thank you for reading! It's much appreciated, and I'm glad you enjoyed it on the whole.

[Quincunx]

It's early in the year to get in the annual agreement with Wyvern's poetry assessment. (Long-running joke, don't mind it.)

 

The narrator's essential to the poem, and (ah, there's the contrary opinion!) I like the image of splashing water. The rest of the narrator's participation lacked the imagery though, and since the rest of the poem was so focused on vision, those lines were blurred by comparison--on one reading, I'll chop out a pair of the narrator's early lines, and on the next include those but cut out a trio.

 

Out of curiosity, have you watched a bird take a bath?

[OxygenPlant]

Yeah, I have seen a bird take a bath. Interesting perception. Adds a whole new element to it. The narrotors lines are not as strong because the idea was less clear, more confusing.