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Guinea Pig

Fearlessly scurrying into Wyvern's domain

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As the party around Blby's welcome faded away Professor Hassium failed to notice Pig gingerly escaping from his pocket and scurrying across the Cabaret Room, towards the stairs leading down to the Recruiter's Office. Still licking traces of tangerine from the corners of his lips, Pig almost fell down the first step. He had not expected something so big! The stairs, clearly made for bipedal creatures much larger than him, were daunting. Pig gingerly put a paw above the vast emptiness below testing the air, but before he knew it he tumbled down not one, not two, but three full stairs, landing on his bottom. Unable to restrain a small "Ouch" he stood back on his paws and looked for alternatives in moving down.

 

It was with horror that he realised after the fifth step that he would also have to somehow get back up. Trying to shove that though into an obscure corner of his small mind, Pig continued downward, awkwardly hugging the wall and the step he was going down. After ten minutes of hard, tiring work he finally reached the floor where the Recruiter's Office was. Able to enjoy the freedom of running about again Pig ran to the door to the Recruiter's Office. Luckily he was small enough to slide through the crack under the door and did not have to trouble himself with opening the door.

 

The mess of parchments lying all around was daunting. Pig could see application pieces dating back several years strewn across the floor, mixed up with invoices for Almost Dragonic products, and plans and schemes, some of which had been implemented and others which were still only in development. One thing could be said about this Wyvern: he was enthusiastic about what he did.

 

Getting down here had been the easy part. Pig still needed to write an application piece. He mentally checked off the things he needed for an application piece: parchment, ink and something to write with. Parchment was in abundant supply, strewn all across the ground. After struggling for several minutes with a quill, Pig realised that he could not bear it yet and decided that he'd have to use his paws. Getting ink was harder. Eventually he succeeded, but only after toppling over an ink bottle atop a document bearing the mention of Almost Dragonic Inkproof Parchment . Clearly though the parchment wasn't fully inkproof, evidenced by the ink oozing across it.

 

Dabbing his right front paw into the ink, Pig started initiating himself with writing. Reaching the end of the page he tried turning it, but his paw just kept sticking to it and he could not turn the page. Annoyed he walked over to another suitably empty piece of parchment and wrote the rest of his poem there.

 

He then stood back and admired the poem he had just wrote. Considering that he was a young guinea pig, barely a few months old, the poem was quite good.

 

Pig's Powem

 

Fuwwy wittle boyd

Foor fuwwy wittle feeet

A wittle fuwwy head

Tow fuwwy wittle ears

Two fuwwy qjute eyes

A fuwwy smile

I am PIG!

Proud at his masterpiece Pig danced about the room, stepping numerous times into the ink onto various pieces of parchment, spreading paw prints all over the place. Finally settling down, he sat down on his haunches and waited for Wyvern to come.

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Guinea Pig jerks his head up as the Office window is suddenly rammed open. The applicant twitches his nose and huddles his paws back defensively as a scaly leg juts its way through the opening. Wyvern collapses into the Office with a signature lack of class, performing a Wing-Wacked Triple Horn Roll on the ground and accumulating papers over his scales in the process. Were the Recruiter's Office home to the National Half-Orc Olympics, the overgrown lizard would have received five halfling bones down.

 

"Someone here in need of an application responssse?" Wyvern shuts the window using his tail stinger and glances around the Office, yawning a little and revealing his teeth. He scratches his head and steps forward, almost stepping on Guinea Pig in the process. A frightened squeak from the applicant turns the reptilian Elder's eyes to the floor. "Oh, it's you! Sssorry 'bout that. Nice to see ya Guinea Pig, glad ya made it to the Office."

 

Wyvern breaths an awkward hiss as he slowly moves his foot away from the area next to where Guinea Pig stands, leaving a new footprint in the paperwork coating the floor. The overgrown lizard clears his throat and brushes a number of papers from his scales, then reaches down and plucks the poem scrap from Guinea Pig's hand.

 

"Hmmm..." Wyvern stares at the ink-stained former receit sideways, trying to make out the letters between the various ink blots. He turns his beady eyes towards Guinea Pig. "I don't sss'pose you might be able to fetch me a magical spot-removing rag? There should be some available in the Cabaret Room."

 

Guinea Pig's eyes and face droop as he considers Wyvern's request and the daunting stairs that he'd have to ascend and re-descend to fufill it. Noticing the applicant's worried expression, Wyvern sniffles and turns the application scrap right-side up.

 

"Eh, never mind, should be able to read it fine." Wyvern's eyes skim over the words of the poem, turning ever-so-often towards Guinea Pig to make sure that he hadn't scared him off with his previous request. Once the reptilian Elder has finished reading the piece, he grins and kneels down to speak with Guinea Pig on a more personal level. "Niccce poem there Guinea Pig, could make a great reader in an intro biology class for firssst grade guinea pigs. I think there'sss serious potential there, especially if we could get an audio tape recording of Morgane reading it."

 

Wyvern snickers and reaches for his acceptance stamp, inking the tiny scrap even further with an ACCEPTED. The lizard then raises a claw to his chin and glances down at Guinea Pig, examining him for his weight in geld.

 

"Y'know Guinea Pig... if yer searching for a place to stay at the Pen, I gotta piece of property that ya might be interesssted in." Wyvern lifts the rickety doorless cage that is Almost Dragonic Brand Guinea Pig Deluxe Health Spa Resorts.™ He sneers and gestures towards it with a claw. "Nuncio the guinea pig bodyguard has already placed a bid on it, but I'm sssure a research guinea pig of yer background might have the means to outbid ihim. Waddaya say? I'll letcha think about it."

 

;-)

 

OOC: An ACCEPTED application piece, Guinea Pig. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! :-) I've enjoyed reading your RP posts thus far and responding to the threads, and am looking forward to RPing with you more as well as to reading any other things you choose to post or participate in. I hope you find the Pen a friendly and welcoming community to write with. Once again, welcome!

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As wide a smile as could spread on a guinea pig's face spread on Pig's face. *squee squee squee* came his cries of guinea pigish joy. After a minute or so his repeated scurrying about the room ceased and the words about the Deluxe Health Spa Resort finally registered in his little mind.

 

"No thanks, I already have a home of my own. It stinks and usually smells of chemicals that Professor Has-" Pig abruptly stopped speaking as Hassium himself entered the Recruiter's Office.

 

*cue what happened in The Researcher's application thread*

 

Professor Hassium nodded to Wyvern, thanking him again, and looked around searching for the guinea pig he had been tracking. Had he escaped again?

Pig wasn't hiding at all, but by this time he was so much covered in black ink that anyone looking for a fluffy brown guinea pig and only that would have been fully unable to find him.

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The Researcher, who had been lost in though while staring at one corner of Wyvern's office, was brought out of his reverie by the squeaking. That immediately reminded him of Guinea Pig, and he glanced around.

 

His eyes were used to the almost tedious observation work, and his brain was well able, by now, to observe in the background. So, while looking for a fluffy brown guinea pig, something moving on Wyvern's desk caught Professor Hassium's brain's attention. Although it took a while to reach his conscious mind, soon he blinked as the caught sight of a most intriguing creature.

 

A new specimen?!

 

Professor Hassium's hand reached for his lower left pocket and took a net, the one he often used to catch butterflies in the field. Expertly, he swung it towards the strange black, spiky ball covered with scraps of paper and feathers that was darting around the piles of applications.

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One of the mysterious feathers tickled Pig's nose and he sneezed, sending half a dozen feathers flying in the air, and revealing his whiskered face, which Professor Hassium could easily recognise. As the net rose, Pig suddenly realised that his paws no longer touched that ground and let out a terrified little shriek. He squirmed and struggled inside of the net, but he could not free himself.

 

Desperate, he started nibbling on a strand of the net, and then another.

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Hassium deftly rose the net, bringing it to eye level. Then he could see clearly what he had caught, and smiled.

 

"Ah, so my little rodent has now learned how to disguise himself? But that does not seem very adequate at the moment... " He chuckled, and reached into his pocket for some procedure gloves.

 

However, holding a struggling net while putting on gloves did not go too well for the professor this time. He tucked the handle of the butterfly net under one arm, put on the right glove, then as he was pulling the left one in place Pig managed, through much squirming and struggling, to dislodge the net.

 

Pig squeaked in protest as he thumped into the floor, still entangled into the net. The professor stepped on the net to keep Pig from getting free, but he had overlooked Pig's gnawing of the strands. As Hassium stooped to grab Pig, he managed to get free and, slick because of all the ink, slipped through Hassium's fingers and half-tumbled, half-scurried out of the professor's immediate sight.

Edited by TheResearcher

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Pig hadn't yet forgotten the chase through the Professor's lab and he was ready to escape again, but with ink all on his otherwise brown fur and some feathers still sticking to him, moving around wasn't so easy and running was nigh impossible. Pig slipped in a patch of oil on the ground and slid between Wyvern's scaly legs, landing on his back.

 

He tried putting his legs underneath him once again, but found that his inky back was stuck to a sheet of paper underneath him. All he could do was sigh as the Professor bent down to pick him up once again.

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The Professor smiled, ready to take his guinea pig back to his laboratory for more detailed study. He closed his hand very gently around the trembling rodent, while making soothing sounds.

 

"You will not be hurt, I just want to take a good luck at you, little one."

 

Pig looked up at the Professor, thinking about commenting that he was getting tired of running on wheels and being poked for half his day. What stopped him was a somewhat unpredictable event, triggered by all the ink on his fur...

 

As Hassium closed his hand on Pig and lifted him, he felt the rodent slip a bit and held it more firmly at once. But the final result of his squeezing was the launching of a very surprised, squeaking, and slicky guinea pig, right towards the ceiling.

 

The equations of acceleration and velocity, plus the gravitational attraction, did cross Hassium's mind as he gaped and watched the momentarily flying guinea pig.

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Gravity did its work as it always did and after a short time during which he could call himself a flying pig, Pig landed on something soft. And something that stank. It must have been a couple of days since the Professor had washed his hair and from this close it showed...and smelt.

 

"Will you finally stop grabbing, chasing, throwing and dropping me!?" he squaked, speaking for the first time to the Professor, his quiet squeaky voice only reaching him because he was almost next to his ear. "You know, it's pretty annoying...imagine if it were always happening to you! Being grabbed, measured, made to run in that stupid wheel...dumped in stinking, filthy liquids..." on and on he went, his high-pitch voice lifting even higher. A couple inches below, the Professor was gaping in astonishment, at hearing Pig not only speak, but utter perfectly coherent sentences.

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Hassium lifted his hand slowly, gulping and licking his suddenly dry lips.

 

"Eeeerm... I ... beg... your pardon?"

 

His hand touched Pig lightly, and he had to make an effort to not wriggle his fingers in an attempt to grab him.

 

"Maybe... we should... talk about ... you... if you allow me to?"

 

Why am I talking to a guinea pig?!

 

He closed his hand tentatively around the body of Pig, lifting him from his head and putting him on the palm of his other hand.

 

Maybe because he is talking to me... I think... if I have not gone insane...

 

"Are you actually talking to me?" He frowned, looking closely at Pig.

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"Of course I'm talking to you." For a supposedly distinguished researcher this Professor sure could be slow sometimes. "I think I can pretty safely say that you've already realized that I'm not your ordinary everyday guinea pig."

 

The palm of the man's hand was definitely more comfortable than being squished, squeezed or held by his neck. This was already proving to be an improvement.

 

"So I can talk, I can think, and I can understand what posters are and like to decorate my home with them. Is that so hard to believe?"

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