dragonqueen Posted October 29, 2007 Report Share Posted October 29, 2007 The deliciously illicit glug glug glug as amber liquid pours forth from a bottle held furtively behind the refridgerator door. Who knew bottles actually make that sound? Fear that the sweet pulsing sound of alcohol might reveal us. Or is it only our ears that hear it so loud like the beating of a heart? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katzaniel Posted November 5, 2007 Report Share Posted November 5, 2007 It's nice to see you here and posting, dragonqueen! I clicked on this poem because I noticed you had written it (sadly, I don't always read all the poetry these days - I don't always read all the short stories, either...) I liked this. I can't comment on whether this is easy to relate to, as I have never drunk alcohol. But statements like "The deliciously illicit / glug glug glug" and "Who knew / bottles actually make that sound?" (a great usage of onomatopoeia and a highly amusing observation) and the last three lines, which I felt I *could* relate to... it all amount to a very good work in my opinion. Thanks for sharing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted November 18, 2007 Report Share Posted November 18, 2007 Nice to see you posting again dragonqueen. Interestingly written poem, nice use of soundeffects. I can relate to the subject matter too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted November 20, 2007 Report Share Posted November 20, 2007 Very good poem, dragonqueen. :-) I admit that when I saw the title of the piece and noticed that it was a poem about alcohol, I feared that it would be a preachy anti-drinking diatribe... but I'm happy to say that the title of the poem is the only thing I didn't like about it. I found your depictions of alcohol and emotions very interesting, particularly with your emphasis on the auditory elements of alcohol, which I found original. I really like how you compare the sound of pouring alcohol to the sound of a beating heart, as it's a comparison that I hadn't noticed before and provides an interesting thematic element to your piece. I also like how you describe the pouring of the alcohol as a "sweet pulsing sound," as it gave some sense of the allure of booze and also hinted at the heart comparison with the organic "pulsing." Nicely done, dragonqueen. :-) For the record, while I've tried alcohol before and have drank in moderation on a few occasions, I very rarely touch the stuff... not really my thing, I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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