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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

The Almost Report Tails Blby for Exclusives


Wyvern

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The cameras flicker on to a close-up image of the scales covering Wyvern's snout. They move back a little to focus on the overgrown lizard's head, which rests against a backdrop of Cabaret Room wallpaper. Wyvern stares down at the ground behind him for a moment and grumbles something under his breath, his snout clearly out-of-joint and his beady eyes suggesting a state of frustration. The reptilian Elder clears his throat and straightens up a bit when he notices the cameras. He pulls out a crumpled news sheet and hisses:

 

"Greetingsss, and welcome to the Almost Report. Thisss evening, we report to you live from Blby's Pen quarters... errrr, directly outside of Blby's Pen quarters that is." The cameras pan out again to reveal that Wyvern's tail stinger is stuck in a mousehole on the bottom of the Cabaret wall. He tugs at it to no avail. "First look and all that jazz, jussst as soon as I remove my stinger from his doorway."

 

As if on cue, two troglyodytes dressed in construction hats and protective vests walk up to Wyvern with an open Almost Dragonic Brand Half-Functional Tool Encyclopedia™. The overgrown lizard points towards a tool on a page and then cocks his head to the side twice, signaling the troglyodytes to go.

 

"In today'sss news, the Big Pointy One is searching for ten participants for his intriguing myssstery project which is rumored to be coming in the near future. The announcement note itself is right over here." Wyvern attempts to wander over to the area where Stick's note is nailed up, but jolts to a halt halfway there as his tail stinger once again sets a limitation. Wyvern grumbles. "Well, it'sss right over there anyway. 8 people have already sssigned up for the mysterious project, but there are still 2 spots available for any who are interesssted. Act now, before it'sss too late!"

 

Wyvern steps back over to Blby's front door to give his tail more breathing room. He grumbles to himself as he attempts another unsuccessful yank.

 

"In further newsss, the Halloween spirit's drifting in early this year with the return of the Werewolf." Wyvern pauses for a moment to signal to someone off-screen. "Werewolf XXXVI, hosted by Mynx, isss currently open to sign-up. I've alssso heard requests and rumorsss about a Halloween party-type thing for pennites, though the lassst I heard was that it could be occuring around Thanksssgiving. Stay tuned for more gossip on that front as it develops."

 

Wyvern freezes as the two troglyodytes in construction hats return carrying giant chainsaws and wearing Almost Dragonic Brand Protective Construction Eye Patches™. They rev up the chainsaws and begin waving them blindly, cutting diagonally down part of the Cabaret wall. Wyvern grits his teeth and ducks.

 

"To wrap up this report, e-mail notifications should now once again be working for Pen PMs." Wyvern yells over the noise of the chainsaws, placing his claws over his horns. "Hey, HEY! Careful you don't buzz through Blby'sss room guys!"

 

Static.

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*Small huddle of black squeak*

 

DEAFENING NOISE!

 

Terror! Fear. HELP! Noise!....Stop, Blby. Calm down.

 

and no matter how loud I yell, no one would hear me over that din. Well, you never know. One could always try?

 

"Excuse me, noisy people, please leave!"

 

Speaking of oddities, what on earth is that thing sticking through my door hole? I can't even leave while it's there.

 

Well, relax and turn on the news.

 

 

 

WTF! That's my door! And the thing stuck in my door is a stinger!

 

Wait! A stinger? EEEEP!

 

*hides under his bed*

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