OxygenPlant Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 (edited) Warning of content: Uhh... not for everyone? Okay. That'll do. The scent of damp musk envelopes me. As consciousness reunites me with this darkness I have been pulled to, I identify this smell. Cigarettes, a person of unclean nature and a room with curtains rarely peeled. The breathing that is close to me is not only my own. Stale down my neck, my spine shivers. Trying to pull away from this, my body is too limp. Through unfocused, half open eyes my vision is penetrated with eyes that can only glare. Empty and holow as they bore through me. The only movement I can feel in my body is that of his in disharmony of my racing heart. Beating quickly as latent adrenaline forges into my mind but leaves my body a living corpse. His rhythm against me. Frantic but methodical: he has time. I further try to piece my surroundings. Placing only a gothic theme, laden with swords, skulls, empty cigarette packets and abandoned beer bottles. Echoing from beneath a dim red light in the far corner of the room, a battered stereo emits Riders of the Storm. Soothed by the voice of Jim Morisson, I resign to unconsciousness. Sweet unconsciousness. As it takes me back to oblivion a hold myself with the thought of, if I can't feel this, it's not happening, I am not experiencing this. Minutes pass, maybe hours or days. An enternity of black sleep as I'm reluctant to wake to breathe this hell. I dare to resurface. Across from me he sits. His eyes still penetrate me. For now, only his eyes. Rolling a cigarette in his filthy hands, he watches me still. Our contact has resigned but still I feel him, oozing through me. His sweat drying on my skin. Numbly I distract myself with items decorating this sespit. I pause at a dagger mounted above me. Noting this, he claims, "It'd be unfortunate if that were to for some reason fall and get you." The silence at the end of his sentence rings in my ears. His eyes return to his durrie as he lights. The flame illuminates his face and vividly etches the image into my skull. I watch. My sight gaining, I outline him. He is tall, tattooed and scarred. My eyes pass by his ribs and the gaunt eveident in his face, class A's have succesfully ravished him, although he is built strong. He returns to me. Act II begins. He spreads himself upon me like a parasitic disease. Submit, I must. What has put me in this state has begun to wear. Thought it has been the basis of my demise, I resent it for doing so. Horrificially aware now of the game he has played and is winning I struggle, though weak. My eyes again catch the sword above me. This time with detail it shines. The steel dragon wrapped around the handle engages my instinct of fear. He watches me watching and speaks again. "That dragon tells me you'll be back tomorrow. Will you tell me he lies?" He has stripped my body and my soul. Turned my consciousness and unconsciousness to harm. Inflicted himself, his vile, hateful self upon me, but still I give him the only answer I'm allowed. "No." I reply. I loathe the praise that follows. "Good girl," he tells me. "Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Into this house were born Into this world were thrown Like a dog without a bone An actor out on loan Riders on the storm Theres a killer on the road His brain is squirmin like a toad Take a long holiday Let your children play If ya give this man a ride Sweet memory will die Killer on the road, yeah Girl ya gotta love your man Girl ya gotta love your man Take him by the hand Make him understand The world on you depends Our life will never end Gotta love your man, yeah Wow! Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Into this house were born Into this world were thrown Like a dog without a bone An actor out alone Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Riders on the storm Riders on the storm" - The Doors. Edited September 4, 2007 by cryptomancer on request to add quote box and warning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lessthaninnocent Posted September 4, 2007 Report Share Posted September 4, 2007 I like this. It's dark and disgusting, your vocabulary portrays it well. You have made it very easy to identify and empathise with the victim. Your descriptions are perfect, not too long winded, just enough to paint the scene in all it's detail and leaving a little space for individual imagination.Thankyou Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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