Wyvern Posted July 14, 2007 Report Share Posted July 14, 2007 Wyvern hobbles into the Cabaret Room wearing a gray scale-fitted suite, two gray cloths to cover his wings, and a pair of gray eyebrow toupées on his horns. The overgrown lizard nods briefly to the image of Jechum as it floats by and ignores the friendly sounds of interchanged freestyle insults, making his way to a podium at the center of the Cabaret Room where a microphone rests. The overgrown lizard picks up his tail stinger as he climbs a short set of stairs to the podium, then clears his throat of a few ashes and snatches the mic stand with a claw. The ensuing screech of distortion hushes the crowds and even causes Jechum's image to weave in and out of focus for a moment. "If I might have the Cabaret'sss attention for a moment? Thank you." Wyvern coughs twice onto the back of one of his claws, then slowly pulls a parchment from a pocket on the front of his suite. The reptilian Elder places a set of imitation gold sunglasses onto his snout, probably meant to represent spectacles, before continuing. "This evening, we bring you a live reenactment of Quillbearer Court... brought to you by Almost Dragonic Brand Trial-by-Fire Sledgehammer Gavels. Large enough to settle any ogre court dispute... Set'em on Edge with the Sledge!" Wyvern strikes a claws-up with an enthusiastic salesman sneer, then goes slightly more serious when the lights of the Cabaret Room dim. A single spotlight falls upon a glass container located at the far left end of the room, which appears to contain a blackened stone with strange carvings engraved on it. "Allow me to direct your attention to Exxxhibit A: a stone retrieved from Kato's original training Tower for those endowed with special powers. The Tower was burnt to the ground in a conflict between one Vincent McAderly and his opposing madman villain, Shriek." Wyvern raises a claw to his chin and strokes his scales. "What was not mentioned in the headlines following the incident is that a paw print was found, barely visible through faint traces of ash, on a path leading from the Tower to Rufus' forest. The paw print was dismissed in the case due to lack of supporting evidence, but did not fit within the description of any of the forest animals according to Rufus." Wyvern circles a claw in the air. The spotlight is redirected towards another glass box located at the far right end of the room, this one containing what looks like a large black feather tacked onto a thin sheet of metal. "This bringsss me to Exhibit B: a feather and piece of warplane hull collected in the Land of Aro, supposedly obtained from Shannon of the Night brigade following the attack on her airship. What plane inspectors failed to acknowledge prior to the departure of the warplane was the paw prints on the technology in the ship's cargo - a set of three prints in total." Wyvern snaps a claw, and the spotlight once again shifts its focus, this time turning to a glass container set up next to the Cabaret's freestyle battle platform, in front of Wyvern's merchandise booth. This evidence box is filled to the brim with black spandex uniforms. "Are these sssets of paw prints connected? Let's take a look at Exhibit C, which containsss spandex ninja outfits from the Pen's recent encounter with stealth sprites. Similar paw prints were found on these uniforms... though unlike the other two instances, these prints seem to be have been more forcefully planted, and are clearly visible." Wyvern rubs his claws together and clears his throat again, then folds his parchment and turns to the crowds. "In the hopes of getting to the bottom of this cassse, we here at Quillbearer Court have gone out of our way to ask a true expert in the field of law and criminal psychology for his thoughts on the evidence at hand. The knowledgable scholar was unable to make an appearence here today due to *ahem* wardrobe malfunctions, but his tessstimony and verdict have been recorded to crystal ball for all to hear. Ladiesss and gentlemen, I bring you the words of a scholar amongst scholars, the know-it-all of them all, one of the main head-honchos of the Akashan Library... Willliiiiaaaaaammmmm Pompousissssssyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" A large crystal ball lights up under the podium as gameshow music plays in the background, revealing the image of Wyvern dressed in a librarian outfit and a fake handlebar moustache. The prerecorded image of the "knowledgable scholar" raises his arms in a victory pose, then strokes his moustache and speaks: "M'yesssss. Firssst of all, let me just say that reaching an expert scholarly decision on this matter would not have been possible without the help of several fine Almost Dragonic products, particularly Almost Dragonic Brand Trial-by-Fire Sledgehammer Gavels... Set'em on Edge with the Sledge!" Wylliam Pompousissy lets the words roll off his tongue in a haughty English accent. "Anyway, I would like to tessstify that the Akashan Library has records of Kikuyu Black Paws being involved in all of these events. The Akashan Library also has records of everything in the world ever and then some, so no need to question this authority. The verdict we have reached is that Kikuyu Black Pawsss should be promoted from Page to Quillbearer. We have also reached the verdict that Wyvern should recieve affection from a variety of scantily clad female pennites following this report. That is all." The crystal ball goes black. Wyvern grins and turns to the crowds, raising the microphone to his snout. "There you have it folksss. Congratulations to Kikuyu on her promotion, feel free to wish her well when you see her." Wyvern pulls the parchment back out of his suite pocket and glances over it. "Oh, and before I forget, the Tower of Elders would also like to belatedly announce a shift in the current Eldership. Yui-chan and Orlan, whose fantastic contributions to the Pen have been vital to the community's growth over the years, have decided to go Ancient due to schedule-related constraints. In there place, the Tower has recruited four new Elders to help keep the community active: Patrick, Katzaniel, Mynx, and Tanuchan. Pennites should feel free to wish Yui-chan and Orlan all the best for their contributions over the years (though of course they'll still be visiting), and should also feel free to contact the new Elders if they need any help undertaking projects or would simply like commentsss on their works. Be sure to check out the Almost Report special on this matter, airing 7/16/07!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshtonBlades Posted July 14, 2007 Report Share Posted July 14, 2007 Awesome! Congratulations to all of you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Congratulations on your promotion Kikuyu! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mynx Posted July 17, 2007 Report Share Posted July 17, 2007 Congatulations! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kikuyu_Black_Paws Posted July 31, 2007 Report Share Posted July 31, 2007 Thanks so much! I only just found out, what, two weeks later? Ha ha...erm..*cough* Anyway, I'm very happy and extremely honored. Thank you again. ~Kikuyu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ryurei Posted August 5, 2007 Report Share Posted August 5, 2007 Ryu stumbles into the room several weeks later only to knock over a pile of old pen keep news papers. as he starts to pick them up an artical in one catches his eye. it reads: 'The Paw that Holds the Quill is black! today the title of quill bearer was given to one of our most stelthy members here in the keep: Kikuyu Black Paws. "What thu hey i gotta find her a congraduate her!" ryu exclaims as he rushes out knocking over another stack. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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