Aterra: The Beginning

[MinimondoT]

So, this is my first serious try at anything other than poetry (except some RPG). I would appriciate feedback. Both critique and compliments. This is only the first installment!

 

“Kia…”

She was riding across a sun drenched meadow on the back of a golden centaur.

“Kia”

The sun’s warmth and a breeze that smelled of flowers combined with his steady hoof beats to lull her to sleep. She didn’t worry about falling though; Mikale’s magic held her in place.

“KIA!”

Kia jerked awake at the sound of her name. Sam was pounding on her bedroom door. A quick glance at the clock told her she would be late for class again and in front of her, instead of her 3 page essay on DaVinci, was another doodle of a centaur and the beginning of yet another short story. She was so dead.

“I’m coming!” Kia yelled as she tossed her books into her bag. A pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and her flip-flops later and she flew out the door, past Sam, and down into the kitchen.

“We’re going to be late again.” Sam, Kia’s housemate, math tutor, and all around best friend drawled as he came down the stairs behind her.

“I know. I fell asleep at my desk again.” Kia said, showing Sam her latest doodle and story beginning. “And this is what I have for Professor Mac.”

“Kia, this doesn’t look like DaVinci…”

 

Kai and Sam had known each other since freshman year. He a math and computer science double major and she an English major, they had met in an Art 101 class and become instant friends. Sharing a love for art of all kinds, Kia and Sam had stayed friends through all the ups and down of college and now, in their senior year, had finally managed to get an apartment together. Opposites in nearly everything, Kia was an athletic book worm who fell drastically short when it came to being tidy while Sam was the typical math/ computer geek with his organization and neatness. Kia left the cleaning of the house to Sam while she made sure they stayed stocked on food and found plenty of places to go to see art. Living so near Atlanta, Sam and Kia were able to find art of all kinds. Unfortunately, as of late, they had had hardly any time to go out and hunt down new art because of all of the work that went into senior year.

 

Kia broke into Sam’s reverie of why, again, he put up with her total lack of organization. “Sam, I know I should have stayed up working on the paper but when I write about Aterrá it’s as if I go there. I mean, I can hear it, smell it, feel it and even taste it! I just wish I could bring you along one day. Then you would understand more.”

“Kia, I have read your stories,” said Sam “and they are great. But if you don’t start concentrating more on school then you will fail midterms and we may lose the apartment. You know that your scholarships ride on your GPA. We can’t afford this place if you have to start paying tuition too!”

 

Sam and Kia parted ways at the history building and as Kia entered her art history class she knew something was different. There was a new student, though no one else seemed to notice him. Kia didn’t understand why though. He had pointed ears, slanted eyes, and resembled nothing less than an elf. In fact, he looked very much like one she had written a short story about years ago. But Kia didn’t have time to worry as Professor Mac started collecting their papers and she had to explain why she didn’t have one. As class went on, Kia couldn’t help but stare at the strange new student. The professor called him Mark (they did have a student named Mark, though Kia didn’t see him) and he seemed to know all of the material…but he kept glancing her way and Kia thought he knew what she saw. When class ended Kia approached Mark.

“Hey...Mark…”Kia said. Mark took one look at Kia and stopped dead in his tracks.

“We can’t talk here. Follow me.” Mark said in an urgent tone. Even though Kia knew she had a class in 7 minutes, she followed him anyway. Outside the library, in a secluded and quite spot, Mark finally stopped and turned towards Kia again. “You can see me, can’t you?” Mark asked.

“Well of course I can see you, everyone can. What I don’t understand is why I have never seen you before…” said Kia.

“You have seen me before. I am Mark, the same Mark that has been in your class all semester, but now you can really see me, can’t you? You are touched; I can see it in your eyes. My questions is who are you and what happened that you can see me now?” asked Mark.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I do know you look like an elf and I want to know why.” Kia replied. Suddenly Mark turned around.

“I have to go,” he said “but we will meet again.”

How cliché thought Kia. We will meet again. Oi. Well, now I am late to class but maybe I can still sneak in while Professor Smith’s back is turned.

 

That night over dinner, Kia told Sam all about Mark and then showed him her newest painting. “The weirdest thing is” said Kia “that Mark seems so much like that elf I wrote about freshman year, when we had to write those fictional short stories. And look, here in my painting. I did not paint an elf in this doorway but there he is, way in the background.”

“I think I see him,” said Sam, “but then again, maybe you stuck him in there when you weren’t paying attention.”

“Stuck him in there….when I wasn’t paying attention?” questioned Kia. “I don’t think so. I think he put himself there. I don’t know how, but I think seeing him in class today and then in my painting must mean something.”

“Right…” said Sam, “and I think you are reading a little too much into this.”

 

As Sam cleaned up after dinner, Kia studied over her painting again. The more she looked at it, the more she saw. There, in the corner was the castle she dreamed up when she was a little girl. The one where her prince charming would live and one day take her away to. And there, by the steam was the great tree where all the elves lived. She could even see the lights in the tiny windows. It was all there, everything she had ever written about. She had been thinking of Aterrá when she painted this painting, but she didn’t realize she had put this much of Aterrá into her painting. That night, when Kia went to bed, she covered her painting with a sheet and by lunch the next day both she and Sam had forgotten of the painting and Mark’s strange appearance.

As the week went on neither Kia nor Sam gave any thought to the strange Monday they had, had. Mark didn’t show up for Art History, Kia managed to get her DaVinci paper in, and Kia’s painting stayed covered up in the corner of her room.

 

“Kia, come on, it’s Friday night!” exclaimed Sam. “We have to go see the new play. It is supposed to be the best one the theater department has put on in years!”

“I don’t know. I still have to study for Professor Mac’s midterm next week and I haven’t finished that math project that was assigned, like, months ago and is due Monday…” said Kia.

“Ok, here’s how we’ll work this. I will help you with your math project AND help you study for Prof. Mac’s midterm if you will come with me tonight. I have been dieing to see this show but you know I won’t go on my own. Anyway, I heard something about audience participation and you know you love to get involved.” explained Sam.

“Alright” said Kia, giving in, “but only if we go to the early showing. I don’t want to be out all night with so much work to do tomorrow.”

“Then let’s go!” yelled Sam as he ran for the door. “Don’t forget your student ID!”

The show was a spoof off of A Midsummer Night’s Dream and DID have audience participation. Kia and Sam ended up as part of a wall, part of a tree, even part of a group of elves. Seeing the costumed actors dressed up as elves reminded Kia of Mark and her painting, but by the time they got home that night both she and Sam were ready to collapse.

“Alright, that was fun” admitted Kia, “but now we have to get to bed so we can get up early.”

[Ran Yoko]

I think it's a very interesting start! I like the flow of dialogue and the pacing of your story. I may not be a great writer myself at times, but I think it's very promising! Outta curiosity, where did you come up with the name of Aterra?