Mardrax Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 The one who is this is about might recognise it and care, for anyone else, it's probably not worth much and it's another of my weird rhymings. Anyhow, I needed it off my chest. Reading your words, Tears well up. seeing your face, Feeling your loss, your pain. the face I've never seen. Named after birds, Images flash, with so much more grace, visions with no name. both bird and grace never seen. Loved one, Loved one, and lost. Loved two, Loved two, and lost? I wonder who you really are, Are we really so much alike? My heart you do strike. you who seem so far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanuchan Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 I don't really have much to say - but I wanted you to know that I really liked this one. It flows well, and brings up the scene/mood easily. I like also the use of the inner dialogue and the way it adds to the whole feeling of the poem. The last stanza made me smile, maybe quite ruefully, for I know the feeling very well... I wonder who you really are, Are we really so much alike? My heart you do strike. you who seem so far. Thank you for sharing, Mardrax - and welcome to The Pen . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WrenWind Posted August 29, 2006 Report Share Posted August 29, 2006 "a small bird in flight stops and lands on a low branch to listen to this sad song tilts her head then flies off again" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mardrax Posted August 30, 2006 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2006 A man sits on a stone, clutching his head, talking to himself. He looks to be in a verbal battle against himself, though the words he speaks are unintelligable. The moment the bird lands though, he straightens up, tilting his head towards the bird. A moment later, two tears can be seen, running across his cheeks, tracing parallel wet streaks before dripping quietly against the stone. Right at that moment, he begins to speak, clear with a bright voice, sometimes interrupted (joined?) by a darker undertone: "Reading your words... You who seem so far." He stops speaking, nods at the bird as it flies off and looks at Tanuchan. No matter how little you have you think is worth saying, don't ever hesitate to speak it anyway. It's well worth the saying just to have it said, acknowledged. You told me you liked it, which is well enough said as it is, and for which, and for the welcome I can only thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts