OOC-The Order

[Black9]

What that said

Edited August 18, 2006 by Black9

[Tamaranis]

Usually these things go in the critics corner, I don't think there are actually any rules saying it can't be here, though...

 

Anyway!

 

I've been after you to change the formatting on your dialogue for what? Five years? Six years? Switch to conventional novel format! Yar!

[Gyrfalcon]

Overall, a good start, but as Tam suggests (or has suggested for a number of years?) Using script-style formatting is jarring. It's pretty simple to keep track between two people in a conversation (establish the first and second speaker, and they remain the same through the give and take), and you can always use identifying features to show who says what.

 

As an example:

 

Travis-"Don't! Don't hurt me! I...I...I'll fight you!" The woman just laughed and donned another grin. The lad was chipper...this was for sure.

 

Woman-"The name's Crystal, and you don't have to worry, I'm not going to hurt you. What's your name?" Travis took to his feet and assumed a tough stance.

"Don't! Don't hurt me! I...I...I'll fight you!" Travis stuttered nervously, trying to hide his fear in bravado. The woman just laughed and donned another grin. The lad was chipper...this was for sure.

 

"The name's Crystal, and you don't have to worry, I'm not going to hurt you. What's your name?" she asked as Travis took to his feet and assumed a tough stance.

 

In both cases, the person involved with the talking is involved - Travis after the fact as you state who's talking and also give him an action that shows how he is talking, and the woman by identifying herself in her speech.

[Black9]

Alright, I'll do it...can't learn if I don't try:)

 

Thanks:)