Sweetcherrie Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 A threat that’s all it is Menace in a tin can Released, Only when I Allow it to come out Still In every corner Of my mind It’s there Luring Lurking Stealthily In the black of my head Waiting for that one little sign of weakness Where I close my eyes, and Think Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted March 24, 2006 Report Share Posted March 24, 2006 Great poem, Sweetcherrie. :-) I really like the structure of this piece, as it seems to gradually build up to its powerful and disturbing close. The last two stanzas of the poem work very effectively, particularly in light of the sense of denial in the first stanza. I also like the wording of this poem, as it's very concise and no words seem unecessary or wasted. The one point of this poem that strikes me as awkward after multiple reads is the underlining of "Allow" in the first stanza. The emphasis on the word is nice, but you might consider a different means of emphasizing it, such as italics or a line break in the stanza. Also, out of curiousity, is the word "black" intended in the fourth stanza, or should that read "back"? Very well done, once again. :-) Thank you for sharing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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