Curious Mylo Posted March 1, 2006 Report Share Posted March 1, 2006 Scene One Katie: You’re FINALLY here! I’ve been trying to get him on the ring of fire for an HOUR!! Lauren: An hour? Ryan: She’s been trying to rip my arm off. Katie: Whiner! Chase: He’s not a whiner. He just likes having his arm attached. But if it were me, I wouldn’t be putting up that much of a fight. Lauren: I almost forgot! Katie, this is Chase. And Chase, this is Katie. Katie: Hi! Chase: Hey. Katie: Chase… Chase… hah! So if I thr… Chase: No. I don’t play fetch, Frisbee, or chase… (Chick in a bikini walks by) whoa. Ryan: Hey, (Clues him into Lauren’s pissed-ness) GET A CLUE! (AWKWARD SILENCE) Katie: OH! Everyone, this is Ryan. Ryan, this is… well, everyone! Ryan: Hi. Katie: Now that all the boring introductions are done, why don’t we go on the ring of fire or something? Ryan: Not that again. Lauren: Can’t we find a less scary one? Ryan: Like that one, with the polar bear on it. Lauren: That looks good. Katie: I’d rather… forget it. No. Just no. Chase: The ring of fire’s a good idea. Lauren: Do we have to? I think the polar bear’s cute! Katie: And WIMPY! Ryan: It doesn’t look so bad. I mean, look at it. No way to fall from the air to your crushing death or anything. Chase: But you just sit there and go in circles. Lauren: That’s not such a good argument considering you’re whole point is going on the RING of fire. Chase: But… Katie: You don’t even go up or anything. It’s basically a fast carousel. Chase: Can’t wait to go on THAT. Woo. Lauren: Actually, that doesn’t sound so bad. Ryan: I would rather go on that than the same basic thing, except up in the air instead of on the ground. Katie: Okay, no. A polar bear CANNOT beat fire! It just doesn’t work that way. Lauren: Since when has this been about beating it? Chase: Since you two refused to go and picked a child’s ride. Ryan: Actually, you have to be about this tall to go on it. Chase: Good to know anyone taller than my knee can go on it. Lauren: Slightly exaggerating I hope, but yeah. I get it. Ryan: You might, but that doesn’t necessarily mean I do. Chase: Okay fine, maybe not my knee. But they… Katie: GOOD GOD!! (She grabs Chase’s arm and starts dragging him off) (Katie tries to take Chase’s sunglasses but he won’t let her) (Ryan and Lauren: AWKWARD SILENCE) Ryan: err… Polar Bear? Lauren: Okay. [blackout] Scene Two [Lauren and Ryan are standing in line for cotton candy and Katie drags Chase on] Katie: Lauren! (To Chase) Loser! Hurry UP! (tackles Lauren) We went on it 19 times!! Non stop!! Chase: She didn’t puke. AT ALL! That one’s psycho. Katie: You... that's a different story. Lauren: Wow. That’s special. (Ryan puts his arm around her) Katie: I have to, uhm… PEE! THAT’S IT!!! I have to pee!! Lauren? Lauren: okay, yeah. I have to pee, too. [blackout and Music stops] [Lights come back on somewhat blue] Lauren: This is weird. Chase: I got here and everything was easy. Ryan: But now, what am I supposed to think? Katie: I still like Ryan just as much as I did when I got here, but I can’t deny that Chase is hot. Chase: And he’s thinking the same thing about Lauren. Lauren: She’s so pretty, so how could he not like her? I don’t want to get dumped. Ryan: Wait, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad. Chase: It would save time dumping her. Katie: What if Chase doesn’t even like me? I could be making the whole thing up. Lauren: But if I’m not, and he really does like me Chase: He’ll die. Ryan: How could anything happen if Katie’s always there? Katie: It couldn’t. So the only way to change that would be to dump him. Chase: But if she likes Ryan then I wouldn’t have to worry about it. Lauren: But, I don’t want to lose Chase. Ryan: Especially to such a loser. [blackout. Lights and Music back on.] (Girls exit) Chase: It’s way too effin hot. Ryan: I’m not much of a summer person either. I’ll go for spring or fall. Chase: Winter’s good. Ryan: Too cold. Chase: Yeah… (Girls come back) Katie: Lets go on another ride! Lauren: The Carousel! I love the carousel! It’s so weird. You get on, go around in circles and see the same thing, then you get off in the same place, but you’re not the same. Chase: uh… huh… Katie: Ferris Wheel? Ryan: Sounds good! (They all exit) [blackout] Scene Three [They all walk on all tweaked out] Ryan: Uhm… food? Chase: Food’s good. Katie: COTTON CANDY! Can we go get some? Can we can we can we? Ryan: Fine, let’s go. Lauren: Could you get me a pink one? Ryan: Yeah. (Chase and Lauren go get French fries and go back to the bench) Katie: (To the cotton candy guy) Hey. Carnie: Hi there. Katie: Could I get a blue one? Carnie: Are you sure you don’t want purple, too? Katie: Yeah, I’m sure. I only have enough for my blue one. Carnie: Then take it. It’s free, you’re pretty enough. Katie: Really? Oh! Lauren wanted pink. So how much do I owe you? Carnie: Oh, that’s not a problem. Just come by later… Ryan: (Puts the money down) Come on Katie, they’re waiting. Carnie: What? Katie: But it was free!! Ryan: I wonder why. Katie: Here Lauren! There’s some purple too if anyone wants it. Lauren: Purple? Katie: What? I didn’t do anything too bad. Ryan: Just volunteered to “come by later”. Katie: Woah, wait a sec there, I didn’t volunteer. I never said I would. Did you hear me say I would? I didn’t think so. Chase: But did you say you wouldn’t? Katie: No, but that’s not important. Lauren: Kind of like when you seduced the lifeguard when that guy fell in? He almost drowned. Katie: It’s not my fault the guy couldn’t hold his breath!! Lauren: Yeah, just like it’s not your fault your top came untied? Katie: Around my neck. It's not like it showed anything!! And it wasn’t my fault! You untied it. Lauren: Tiny details. Katie: But yeah, the lifeguard wasn’t so hot after he put his shirt on. Lauren: Not many are. Ryan: We’re still here. Katie: So Lauren, are they all that pretty where you live? Lauren: Not THIS pretty, I’m just that good. Katie: Yeah, you know that guy you were drooling over a few summers ago that lived next to my aunt? Lauren: I was not drooling!! But yeah. Katie: You’re looking at him. Lauren: What? You? Ryan: Yeah, that’s me. Katie: You were drooling. Lauren: I was not. Katie: Were to! Lauren: Whatever. So you’re her boy next door? That’s so cute! Ryan: I guess? Chase: Hey Laurie, we’re gunna have to go soon. I have to get Erik his car back. Lauren: Now? Chase: If I don’t get it back before he has to leave, he’ll torture me. Lauren: Can we go on one more? Chase: Which one? Katie: Ring of… Ryan and Lauren: NO! Katie: Okay then… Lauren: The carousel? Katie: uhh… Chase: I guess… Ryan: okay then. Lauren: yay!! [They all exit – Blackout] Scene Four [same setting as scene 1] Katie: I don’t want to go home NOW. Lauren: I know, me neither! Katie: You have to call me sometimes soon, then you can come over. Lauren: I will! Then I can get my blue jacket back. Katie: HEY! I like that one!! Lauren: I know! So do I! Chase: Hey Laurie, do you have the keys? Lauren: No… I dunno what you’re talking about. Chase: What? Lauren: They’re right here. You gave them to me. Chase: oh. Katie: (hugs Lauren) Call me! Promise? Lauren: Promise! Katie: ‘Kay. It was really good to meet you! (hugs Chase) Chase: Yeah, you too. Lauren: (hugs Ryan) Nice meeting you. Ryan: Nice meeting you. (to Chase) you too. Chase: Yeah. [walk off in other directions] Lauren: I LOVE YOU!!! Katie: I LOVE ME TOO!!! THE END! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted March 6, 2006 Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 I can definitely feel the teen spirit at work in this piece... not only in the interactions between characters, but also in the style of humor. The third scene was definitely my favorite of the bunch, as the interactions with the Carnie and the revelation of Ryan's true identity both gave the scene direction and made for quite a few humerous interactions. The reoccuring references to rides also worked well at adding a sense of vainness to the interactions of the characters, which fit in line with the piece's title. :-) There were points in this piece where I found it difficult to distinguish one character from another, which can be frustrating at times. I might recommend adding more scene to the piece to improve this, along with a description for the setting of Scene's One and Four. A description of the characters before the play starts, a more diverse set of names, and varying styles of dialogue could also all be potential ways to make the characters stand out more. On a side note, is there any particular reason you chose to write this as a play rather than prose? :-) I ask because another potential way to strengthen the characters in this would be to expand this into a prose piece, which might also strengthen the direction of it. Still, the blue light and black outs are interesting stage effects, and the purpose of the play could be to show the vainness of teens that act and think alike. :-) Anyway, thanks for sharing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quincunx Posted March 6, 2006 Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 It's fine as a play--with all this dialogue, it would be a little awkward reworking it into prose unless you doubled the length of the piece and added in details that the people didn't even notice while they were there. (Prose is easier to read than play form, but that's no fault of yours--all the formatting helped make this easier on the eyes.) The piece doesn't have much plot, and nothing gets resolved, so a director might cut it down to a single scene and/or change some of the boys' one-word replies to stage directions, as they're not getting a word in edgewise in most of those replies. Where Wyvern wants to see all of the characters given greater depth and life, I want to further cut the less-defined characters and focus on the viewpoint of Lauren, the most well-defined character of the bunch. Yet if he hadn't spoken, I would still have thought that the play was perfect as-is. Feedback, ai, double-bladed thing. . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious Mylo Posted March 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 (edited) Wyvern -- This was written for the Advanced Theatre One Acts at the end of this month. It was pretty rushed so it didn't turn out as I had hoped, but I still like it. I really don't like writing plays with time limits. It had been A LOT longer, but I had to cut it down and it took out a lot about the relationship between Katie and Lauren. Then about Lauren and Chase's relationship. It's pretty frustrating. I do love this topic, though, because there are so many ways to look at it. There is so much to say about it. Watching the characters go from questioning everything, to jealousy, to fear of rejection, then suddenly to the realization that it wouldn't be all that bad, then back to questioning themselves and everyone else. This could be several acts long, and there would still be more story to tell. Thankyou for the comments! They'll help a lot. Edited March 6, 2006 by Broken_Inside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curious Mylo Posted March 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted March 6, 2006 (edited) Quincunx -- It's really hard to put in a lot of what I saw going on in the aside in Scene Two and in all of Scene Three while also letting the actors figure out their own Character and their own reactions. I didn't want to put in stage directions and have every step planned out for them, so most of what's actually going on in their heads will have to be explained to them. The story was intended to be mostly about the conflict and what's going through the character's heads vs. how they act towards each other and what they say. Thankyou! I'll keep all this in mind, too! Edited March 6, 2006 by Broken_Inside Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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