Build a Better Zombie Mousetrap

[Wyvern]

Wyvern clears a few ashes from his throat and wanders to a tilted podium at the front of the Conservatory. The idle Conservatory crowds raise their brows as they watch Wyvern's tail clack along the carpet, a long line of snapped mousetraps armoring his scales. The overgrown lizard pulls his tail up to the podium stand with some effort, letting out a loud whimper as a sharp snap echoes through the halls. He then bumps the podium microphone in a loud screech of static and stammers, casting a jagged grin of teeth to the crowds.

 

"Greetingsss fellow pennites and honored guests." Wyvern waves a claw towards the crowd. "As you may or may not be aware of, the Mighty Pen has come down with a certain rodent problem... there are not nearly enough rats available to attract cute and innocent kittens to Almost Dragonic Brand Experimentation Outlets™! Not to mention that the Pen's feline contingent deserves an extra treat or two every now and then, which is why I propose an immediate plan of action."

 

Wyvern reaches down to the foot of the podium and places a very delicate match figurine of a rat on top of the podium, only to watch it collapse in an instant. He frowns and pokes at the pile of matches with a claw, then sighs and raps his claws along podium's corners.

 

"That was just a, errr, y'know, a demonstration of what rats typically look like after they get caught in traps." Wyvern forces an awkward laugh as he shoves the matches off of the podium with a claw. "Anyhow, onto the proposition. I propose that we build a mousetrap oriented towards capturing the Grim Squeaker. Once we capture the Death of Rats and imprison him, the population and life expectancy of rats in these quarters will naturally increase. Feel free to offer any components that may work towards a design."

 

The Conservatory spectators pay no attention to Wyvern's ramblings, still stuck on how more rats could possibly be beneficial to the Pen. They look up for a moment as Wyvern attaches a small sign to his tail:

 

!!!Free Free Free Mousetrap Starter Sets Free Free Free!!!

Remove at your own risk

 

;-)

[Sweetcherrie]

In a corner of the room Sweet had been following the lizard’s every move, and all the while she’d been thinking that she could do a far better job. On the other hands she sort of liked all the little mousies, they were fun to play with. However, she also felt sorry for all the little kitty cats around that would not have any food if there were no rodents.

 

With a frown she debated about the problem with herself, and all of a sudden an image of Mynx flashed through her head. Mynx would surely be glad if she could catch her a big fat rat; after all, she was a cat, no? A rather big one of course, so it would have to be a big rat…meaning that it would have to be a big trap.

 

Without anybody noticing her she slipped out of the Conservatory in search of her magical pens. She would build the best trap that had ever existed. She skidded to a halt outside Sweetcherrie’s room, and peeked in to see if the room was empty. When she found that there was indeed nobody there she dived into the cupboard and rumbled around in it.

 

Chucking her roller skates, pogo stick, and marbles to the side, she finally found what she was looking for and emerged holding her cherished pens in her hands. Sweet looked around the room and discovered that she left it in rather a mess, but shrugged and decided to clean it up later.

 

Running back to the Conservatory she almost ran over Venefyxatu, but before he could ask what all the hurry was about, she was gone already. When the little girl arrived at the Conservatory she slipped back inside, and discovered that she had forgotten paper.

 

With a shrug she sat down in the corner and started drawing on the wall, it wasn’t as if it would stay on the wall after all. With the tip of her tongue sticking out she drew what she thought would be the best trap ever. When she was finished she took a step back and looked at the result.

 

On the wall there was now a drawing of what looked like a door. The door came up to her knees, and she nodded to herself. It would be perfect.

 

Now, she only had to find someone with a little bit of magic to make it work…..

[Wyvern]

Wyvern lets out a ruthless cackle as he screws the final beady sprocket into place. He ignores the pain in his tail as the "mousetrap" creaks and groans, his face frozen in a wicked grin as it moves a trembling metallic paw. Wyvern ties a stray coil of electric wire to the beast's back, jumping as it springs to life in a shower of sparks. He raps on the "mousetrap"'s snout with a claw, then listens to the hollow-yet-sturdy clang with a victorious grin.

 

Several hours later, Wyvern treds into the Conservatory with what appears to be a large lump of purple curtains tredding behind him, connected to a metal chain and leash that the reptilian Elder holds. The lizard comes to a stop as he arrives at the podium that he had spoken at earlier. The pile of curtains coming to a clanging halt behind him.

 

"Ladiiieeesssssssss and gentlemen." Wyvern spreads out his claws in a proud pose. "The era of magical Pen mousetraps that turn rats into matchstick figurines shall soon come to an end! Allow me to introduce the next generation of Mighty Pen mousetraps."

 

Wyvern reaches into his pouch, and pulls out a remote control along with a miniature loudspeaker. The lizard flicks a switch on the loudspeaker, and exclaims something inaudibly. He then frowns and glances at the switch for a moment, and flicks it the other way.

 

"ALMOST (Almost) DRAGONIC (Dragonic) BRAND (Brand) MOUSEKETEER™ (Teer-Teer-Teer...)!"

 

Wyvern hits the big red button on his remote control and the curtains drop from the lump's form, revealing a hideous metallic rat made out of junkyard scrapmetal, twisted wire, and leftovers from Patham's last carnival swapmeet booth.

 

"YES (yes) YES (yes)!" Wyvern stares at the echoey loudspeaker and frowns for a moment, then drops it with a clang that echoes loudly and makes the room tremble for a moment. "The first Mighty Pen mousetrap designed specifically with the intention of catching the Grim Squeaker! Obssserve."

 

Wyvern clicks another button on his remote, causing the deformed robot to move forward in uneven jerks. The rat speaks in a monotone robot voice.

 

"Squeak. Squeak. ... Oh. Help." The rat-bot pauses and turns its whiskers to the ground. "The. Cheese. That. I. Ate. Is. Not. Settling. Well. ... Oh. I. Am. Dying."

 

Wyvern grins and strikes a claws up to the crowds as the mousetrap keels over and collapses. The crowds move their feet as the mouses used aluminum plate ears go rolling across the ground. A flare of sparks flies from the rat-bot's tail for a moment, then goes dead.

 

"When the Death of Rats tries to pick it up, he'll get paralyzed by the sparksss!" Wyvern jumps and down with excited glee. "Isn't it marvelous?"

 

"Errr." Katzaniel moves out of the crowds and taps the defunct rat-bot's head gently with a foot. The head rolls off in an instant, its wire whiskers becoming embedded in the ground. "Does it uhhh, does it work twice?"

 

Wyvern grins and raises a claw to respond, only to freeze in place for several minutes. The overgrown lizard's grin gradually fades, and he scratches the back of his head with a nervous twitch.

 

"Eheheheh." The lizard clears a few ashes from his throat. "Well, errrr, I guess a backup mousetrap might be good. Watcha guys got?"