Cerberus Posted August 31, 2005 Report Share Posted August 31, 2005 (edited) Scry : The Epics Battle A Knight stood before what could be his greatest challenge yet. After getting so far in his quest, he now, finally was in the presence of Scry. His journey has taken him to battle many great opponents, but this one by far is the most well known of any. This man was an elite guard of the cruel emperor that the knight was sent to stop. And now, the Knight stood just across a courtyard from this rumored of man. The rumors of Scry spoke of many things. The most memorable of which was that he was said to be prepared for your next strike, before you are even poised for it. If this was true, the man would prove a rather good challenge. Other rumors so far have seemed to hold into reality at the moment. The speaking of the mans attire, his presence, and silent nature all seemed to be present. Despite the myths that made up the mans reputation, the upcoming battle had another reason to be daunting. There was not one single other soul in the courtyard. it was only the two men. The two stood in silence for the moment. Both studying the other, trying to get an idea of what the other was capable of by just looking at the way they stand. The Knight stayed at the ready. Sword drawn, and set in a defensive stance. Scry however seemed to stand in a very casual way. A dark gloved hand resting on the hilt of his blade, which still rested in its sheath. The knight was dressed in typical battle ready gear, while Scry was a bit different. Dark armor that appeared to hide any hint of what the mans true figure was. Perhaps the most intimidating feature, aside from the careless pose, was the helm. The helm itself was at the same time simple as it was complex. There were no features to its face. It was plain as the steel it was forged from. Unlike most helms, this one had only three slits in its face. Two obviously for the wearer to see from, but one more hex-shaped slit in the forehead, that even from this distance had some kind of soft blue color within. Silence reigned over the moment for what seemed like ages. But that was broken when the Man known only as Scry took a step forward. The Knight stood more at the ready than before, staying prepared in case his opponent decided upon a charge attempt. Scry slowly approached, a calm gait that reflected the care-free stance that he had displayed only moments before. Just as calmly as the approach began, it had stopped. Now the two men stood ten feet from one another. Scry looked the Knight over once more, leavening one hand on the hilt of the blade while he does so. The Knight, growing tired of this mental conflict spoke out to his enemy. “Is this your idea of battle Scry? An empty courtyard and quiet stares?” Scry seemed to only stare at the Knight. It was unknown what was going on under that faceless helm. It was a few moments before he got a response to the inquiry.. A response that was not expected in any stretch of imagination. “We are alone to ensure there be no aide… or witness to this event.” Scry had spoken. This simple fact alone had caused the Knight to loose his train of thought. No living being had ever heard Scry speak with the verbal word. None until now, none that lived to speak of the treat. But the Knights train was not only lost, but derailed completely. Scry’s voice was somewhat soft, casual to meet the gait that was displayed . But that is not what destroyed the Knights thoughts… no simple tone could do that.. When Scry spoke, the voice….. It was Feminine. But.. That was impossible. A woman could never rise to such a rank in any mans army, much less an elite guardian! No! he miss heard the man! That had to be it. The heat of the moment, the adrenaline that ran in his veins, the intensity is what caused this illusion of the ears. It could not be anything beyond a mistake on his own hearing, it just could not be anything else! It was obvious the Knight was having trouble accepting what he heard, so Scry decided to settle the issue. Using just as calm movements as always, two gloved hands reached to the helm, unfastened, and slowly removed the obstruction to the hidden face. Holding the helm under one arm, Scry’s face was finally seen by a living being. Behind the mask was a woman who’s beauty could rival the angels themselves. Long hair, platinum in color flowed about her shoulders, reaching about midway down her back. Her skin was pale, the cause obviously from lack of exposure to the sun. the eyes, hauntingly calm for the moment at hand, one an icy blue, and the other, clouded as if almost dead itself. On her forehead, there was a chain that held the blue stone that one could see beyond the slit in the helm. It didn’t seem very special, and was kept in place with wraps that weaved throughout its length in her hair. Despite seeing it for himself, The Knight was still in a moment of disbelief over the sight before him. The widely known Elite warrior Scry….was a woman?! It was well known as a fact that females were not allowed to know the art of battle, yet this one somehow became one of the best of all kingdoms? It was so very clear now as to why they were alone. If she were to reveal herself in such a way, the very army she was aligned with would cut her down where she stood. They were alone in this, and he was the only one alive that knew her secret. The Knight, even though baffled by this revelation, composed himself enough to speak again.. “What sort of trick is this woman! Are you truly the elite Scry, or is he hiding in wait to stab me from behind?” the Knights words were not met with the swift action he expected, instead he found a very slight tint of amusement on this woman’s face as she spoke in kind. “I assure you I *am* the true Scry, Knight. And….. I did not spend all this time training for this meeting, just to snuff your life out from behind” another thing that made the Knight pause in thought. However, instead of just debating to himself, he voiced out the thoughts to her. “you speak as if you spent a life time just for this moment…. Laughable” her amusement did not falter, but the amused look could not be mistaken with a smile in any way. She simply enjoyed the squirming the man was doing under the weight of this encounter. “If it is laughable Knight… then begin your laughter, for I have waited a very long time for this day.” But the Knight did not laugh… he instead became more curios “how is that possible? You couldn’t have known I would come here…on this day” she inclined her head slowly to the Knight “Yes… I did not know when, or where… but I knew you would… and I knew this fight, more than any others, had to happen.” the Knight’s stance was lowering… none of his other battles up to this bore any kind of conversation beyond a threat and a mock here and there. But this… for some reason he had to know more before this continued, almost like something was calling him to learn. “enough games woman… how did you know you were to face me…. And more important yet… how do you hold such a rank?” Seeing the man’s guard lower, she knew that she had these few moments to spare. She had this time to inform him exactly what he wished to know, and perhaps some he did not. Her eyes did not leave him still, as she shifted position, stepping somewhat around him, his gaze constantly on her, watching and waiting….listening. “I had a vision, when I was but a child… a Knight, come to end the terrible tyranny of the Emperor. And one battle that would prove to the heavens that this hero could get the task done. And I knew, that I was the only one who could see to it. And a young girl is easy enough to disguise as a boy… it simply became a matter of intelligence and will in my later years..” His intrigue was only increased by this statement… the woman’s beauty was captivating, and her words seemed to touch the very core of his mind, possibly even heart. There were still questions to ask her, things that had to be known before he would rest.. “Assume you are being truthful.. Why show yourself now? Why not perform this fight as you have all the rest? Why is it only now , while we stand to face one another alone do you show the true skin of the serpent? “ Scry’s ears were not turned from his words.. They were valid questions that one would have in this instance, and he would get his answers. “Why show myself Sir Knight?…. It is simple… regardless of the outcome of this battle, I am not long left to this world… I face an illness, one that could possibly have been cured long ago… but if it had been, I would not be here to face you….no.. and the other reason…yes there are two… is that now… I have no reason to hold back against you.” He was confused, but at the same time understood perfectly. Normally if one had such an illness, they would loose the will to continue a facade, and continue to train for a battle of this importance… but Scry it seems, has played plenty of cards, that gave her an abundance of motivation for this cause. Even though he had an idea as to what she was getting to, he still felt the need to ask her. “no reason to hold back? Why would that be Scry….or is there another name you hide with.” the amused look to the woman’s face turned slowly, but un mistakably into a look of determination, and complete seriousness , and as she spoke she tossed the helm aside. “there is no other name you need to know… and now, I have no reason to hold back… you have seen me, heard me. No living being has had this pleasure, and I will not let you go with that knowledge. I may have foreseen the outcome of this event Hero… but damn you if you think I will lay down to let you pass!” With that, her sword was drawn, and her attack had been made. Lucky enough for the Knight, his weapon did not have to be drawn, and was able to deflect her blow just in time to save his neck from being removed. Scry was on the offensive, and shared what may have been the last dialogue between them “I hold nothing back, for even if I do not kill the bearer of my sight, it will not matter who you tell! None can kill me if I have already been slain! Now face me with all you have…for I will give no mercy!” With all words being withdrawn, it was time for their battle to truly begin. Their blades met with such fierce aggression, the sounds of metal meeting rang out into the air at a rather quick pace due to the conflict. Holding true to the Rumors, Scry appeared ready to dodge every move the hero tried, even before her prepared the move himself. He was not without skill himself, even if he was not landing any hits on this woman, she was not gaining anything more than a glancing blow off a sturdy chest piece. Sparks continued to fly as the two epic warriors fought for the prize of victory, both continuing to move just as quick and free as they began the battle. At times the pair would separate, and circle one another, forming strategy before going right back into the fray. Each time appearing more determined to get a fatal blow on their opponent. Both of them knew that other than small pecking cuts, that it would be one strike that ended this, just one strike to take the other down once and for all. They kept going for almost a full half hour.. Both tired, both being carried by simple will alone. It was a shame that there were no eyes to witness this battle of two epics. It was the quality of swordsmanship that was so very rare indeed. Both warriors, fighting for everything. Each person involved had the world riding on their shoulders for this one solitary battle. Neither warrior would fall to a simple mistake, neither would allow themselves to tire out before the other did. The battle raged for longer than any human should have been able to go.. Small nicks over each warrior… but when the dust settled.. And the smoke was cleared… Scry lay on her back… motionless eyes staring at the Sky… Victorios.. Her mission, was complete………… (Comments: I realise that i joined as a guest a good while ago, and havnt done a single thing since then. i just hav not had the time, but here we go with my first attempt at fitting in. i hope you alll enjoy this story as much as i enjoied typeing it out. Thank you for your time. Cerberus) Edited August 31, 2005 by Cerberus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 2, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Any feedback on this in any way? plenty people have seen it, but surely some of you have thoughts on it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyvern Posted September 2, 2005 Report Share Posted September 2, 2005 Cerberus sighs to himself as he paces back and forth through the Recruiter's Office, his thoughts consumed by restless anxiety. He pauses and casts a glance at the oyster perpetual Rolodex clock standing in the corner of the room. The applicant's eyes widen at the crooked positions of the hour and minute hands, indicating the tardiness of the Elder of Initiates. Cerberus considers exiting the Recruiter's Office to seek out information on the Pen Recruiter's absence, only to find the Office entrance blocked by a large metallic object. "What in the name o-" Cerberus takes two steps back as the metallic object moves forward with a slow screech. "Move aside please!" Wyvern's voice echoes from behind the Automatic Alternating Repeating Kendricke and Scorn Launcher. The lizard gives the cannon another forceful shove, pushing it further into the Office. "Sssorry about the wait. Big things afoot, don'tcha know." "N-no worries." Cerberus glances at the large cannon, then at Wyvern, then at the cannon again. "I-" "Ssso you brought the batter?" Wyvern closes in on Cerberus and sneers, nudging him with a scaly shoulder. "Just hand it over, and feel free to have all the imported air you wan-" "Umm. Actually, I'm here to apply. I want to join the Pen." "Oh." Wyvern backs away and stutters for a moment. "I didn't think you looked very undead. Well, feel free to have a seat on that large metallic bench there. This'll only take a moment." Cerberus hesitantly seats himself on the AARKaSL as Wyvern snatches up his application from his hands. The overgrown lizard reads over the story for a long moment, then grins and places the sheet on top of his messy desk. "Shame Ssscry lost. Could've offered her an Almost Dragonic Extra Fizzy Hellixer to overcome her illness... for a price." The lizard fails to stifle an evil snicker. "Still nice stuff though." "So, my application's accepted?" "No, unfortunatly." Wyvern bites his scaly lip as Cerberus' face darkens. "See, there was this incident, and I lost the stamp for accepting applicants." "What?!" "Don't worry. In the mean time, I've made this list of things for applicants to do while waiting for the stamp to show up." Wyvern strides towards his desk. "It'sss right in my desk. Features such enticing options as counting the number of crumpled tax documents in the paper avalanches, and tossing spare geld pieces into the Almost Dragonic Brand Booze Spitoon Wishing Well. As soon as I find the stamp, you'll be accep-" "This is absurd!" Cerberus glares at Wyvern, then hops off of the AARKaSL. "I'm goin-" "Waiiit!" Wyvern strikes a triumphant grin as he retrieves the acceptance stamp from the drawer of his desk. The reptilian Elder stamps Cerberus' application ACCEPTED, and beams in the applicant's direction. "Wonder how it got in there..." ;-) OOC: An ACCEPTED application story, Cerberus. Welcome to the Mighty Pen! I look forward to reading more of your work on these boards, and hope that you find the Pen a friendly and welcoming writing community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted September 3, 2005 Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 With the carnival almost over Sweet bounced into Wyvern’s office, looking for someone to play with. She asked the nice door neatly if he would let her in, and ran up to the new person. “Hello…..who are you? Are you nice? You look nice. Do you want to play?” Cerberus was still staring at the accepted stamp on his story, and the energetic entrance of the little girl threw him off balance. “Errr…yes?” “Yes? Yes! Ooh, goodie this will be so good, we can play tag, and we can colour, and and” Sweet was summing up a great list of games they could play, but suddenly she was silent and looked at Cerberus with a question mark on her face. Obviously an answer was expected, if only he could remember what she had said last.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted September 3, 2005 Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 (edited) Ok, you asked for feedback... First of all let me say that I think the story was nice, otherwise I wouldn't have taken the time out to write extensive feedback on it In my opinion both characters need more feelings. We see their actions, but their feelings could be worked out a bit more. Scry dies, but seeing I hardly got to know her it touched me less than it might have when we knew what she had felt about her vision, her life, herself... Also, I'm not a native english speaker, but the tenses seem to change almost every paragraph... I keep having problems with this so I won't be able to tell you where exactly you have to change what, but sometimes I was reading the story in the present and other times it was as if it happened a long time ago. There are also quite a few weird sentence constructions in the story that had me stumbling every time. If you would like a more detailed version of this I can send it to you by PM Personally I'm not too fond of starting sentences with 'but' and you've started a couple of them with that. There are quite few words that you could use instead of this word, and I saw one case where a comma would solve the whole problem. Prevent repetition by variation. Lastly, and I've had a hard time with this as well in the beginning, but online reading is a lot easier when you leave space between the paragraphs, and everytime someone says something you start on a new line. (thanks Wyvern btw ) for example: The Knight, growing tired of this mental conflict spoke out to his enemy. “Is this your idea of battle Scry? An empty courtyard and quiet stares?” Scry seemed to only stare at the Knight. It was unknown what was going on under that faceless helm. It was a few moments before he got a response to the inquiry.. Would probably look better: The Knight, growing tired of this mental conflict spoke out to his enemy. “Is this your idea of battle Scry? An empty courtyard and quiet stares?” Scry seemed to only stare at the Knight. It was unknown what was going on under that faceless helm. It was a few moments before he got a response to the inquiry.. As I said in the beginning, I really like this story and I hope to read more of your stories on the Pen in the future. Edited September 3, 2005 by Sweetcherrie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 3, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 3, 2005 ~looks over the story~ yeah, i see what you're saying. alot of my mistakes in that fasion was growing too comfortable with msn rp, where everything was in the samea paragraph. that and i blew off sleeping so i could finish this off lol.... if it's allright with everyone, i'd like to take the advice and edit this one all up to show waht a proof read and rewrite can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cerberus Posted September 6, 2005 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 ~His attention was taken suddenly away from the acceptance, and admireing of the early version of the story.. blinking somewhat he looked to the energetic person saying things to him at rapid speeds...and then the girl waiting for a responce.. his hand absently traced over the thick collar over his neck as he tried to think of the best thing to say to this person~ "Um..... the thrid thing you said... how about that?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweetcherrie Posted September 6, 2005 Report Share Posted September 6, 2005 Her eyes grew big, had he really said that he would go scavenger hunting with her? This must be a dream day. Sweet jumped at him, hugged him happily, and then started pulling him out of the Recruiter's Office. Two moments later she suddenly thought about something. "You stay here!" Sweet told Cerberus and ran back inside, where she started bouncing around the almost dragon. "Aww...come on Mr Lizard, you know you want to play with us..." She stopped bouncing for almost a whole ten seconds and looked up at Wyvern with begging eyes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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