Darkcherrie

[Sweetcherrie]

OOC: A load of poems that were sitting on my harddrive...some of them good, some less good....Doesn't really matter...just airing ghosts...

 

 

Black Brick

 

Black from the inside

Brick from the outside

 

should’ve known

that the clock doesn’t tick for me

that the wheels would not be

kept in motion

 

should’ve known

that after sun would come rain

that you’d cause me pain

and confusion

 

should’ve known

that you messed with my head

that inside you’re dead

of emotion

 

should’ve known

that the black would not subside

that the bricks didn’t abide

such devotion

 

Brick from the inside

Black from the outside

[Sweetcherrie]

Existence

 

It was in my dreams,

Does this mean it’s here?

And does that mean,

That it only exists when dreamed about?

 

Would it fade with waking up?

Or can it exist,

Period?

 

If I dream about a place,

Does that mean it exists?

Or is existing,

Realization?

 

But if the dream doesn’t realize it’s there,

How can it be anywhere?

And if I go to anywhere,

Will I spread out over everywhere?

 

Cause if I go to nowhere special,

I get back to where I was before.

And having been everywhere,

I know it gets me nowhere.

 

Do you see?

I mean really see?

With your eyes closed,

But still see?

[Sweetcherrie]

Going anywhere?

 

From here to there

To anywhere

And back

 

Lost in a summer spiral

Lingering in summer dreams

Of long lost love

 

The breeze picks up

What’s left, and melts away

Those momentous moments

 

Until I’m here

Not there

Just anywhere

 

And back

[Sweetcherrie]

Lost

 

How am I supposed to feel?

When I want to kill what’s left inside

How am I supposed to heal?

When the tears haven’t been cried

Should I feel more or less the same?

The same as before I died?

Before this happened?

 

This happened far too fast

Too fast to disagree

You went on and decided without me

Decided that we did not match

Not match for what was meant to be

 

Meant to be….should’ve seen

Should’ve known it wouldn’t be

Wouldn’t be this what I’m used to…be?

Used to being hurt by now

Used to…but not like this

 

Like this it has never been….not for me at least

You see I’m not meant to be…like this

I just don’t match….should wear a sign that reads

Careful! Don’t mix with love….

[Sweetcherrie]

I feel...

 

Sun blocks my stare, I feel

Wind strokes my hair, I feel

Rain wets my clothes, I feel

Pain rocks my soul, I feel

 

Touched by love and desire

 

I see you, I feel

I hear you, I feel

I smell you, I feel

 

I feel you

 

Untouched but set on fire

 

I feel, I should stop

I feel, don’t go on

But I feel

I feel!

[Sweetcherrie]

JUMP

 

Today I knew

kadeng

I knew why

kadeng

Why people

kadeng

jumped

 

KADENG

 

-doubt-

 

The hand of

kadeng

Of life pulled

kadeng

Pulled me

kadeng

away

 

SMACK

 

And threw me headfirst into a brick wall.

[Sweetcherrie]

Spiralling

 

Lost in the spiral

Falling down

Into a dark hole

Of emotions

 

From the bottom I look up

Smilingly you look down

I stretch out my arm

But your smile is frozen

 

Disbelief and astonishment

Fight for primacy

Hope turns into sorrow

As I turn away from you

 

I Slowly hit the ground

My legs have given way

To the tidal wave of despair

That flooded me over

 

I drown in sorrow

Now I push away

The only thing

Worth holding on to

 

Please find me…

[Sweetcherrie]

Words

 

No words just feelings

But feelings are so hard to show

And though I know that you would listen

I have no way to tell, what you already know

 

Through the virtual realm I reach out

My hand touches yours…almost

 

 

I stare into the silence

And let the world turn on

Without me, for one second

I listen to my heart

 

A strong beat tells me

What should be said,

To break the silence

That lives within

 

I warmly embrace that silence

And ask it to guide me

To where I am supposed to go

 

How can I feel so lost when I’ve been found?

[Sweetcherrie]

Sorry

 

By hurting

Masking hurt

Words hastily spoken

 

Spoke before thinking

Thought before speaking more

Realisation that neither was enough

Enough to express the feelings confided in them

 

Enough to express the regret confided in them

Realisation that regret is not enough

Emotions after thinking more

Thought after emotions

 

Words defined me

Silenced now

I am nothing

[Sweetcherrie]

Opposites

 

You speak about rain

When I see the sun

Opposites attract

Heightens the fun

 

You say it is cold

When I feel the fire

Leading the way

Feeding desire

 

You see darkness

When I feel the light

But who is wrong

And who is right

 

When in darkness

A shimmering light

Is brighter than

The sun in daylight

 

Let me light your darkness

With my light

Let me feel your warmth

And it’ll just be,

Right?

[Sweetcherrie]

Down with the crowd
In endless circles

deeper
     deeper
  deeper
       deeper
    deeper

    deeper.

Till there’s no way out

Of this empty vessel 
Filled with black tar

             swirling 
          round
      round
  round

in endless circles.

This might get an update, it's been something that floated around, and I might come back to it when I've set my mind straight.

[Sweetcherrie]

Standing where?

A line in between

Looking from the outside

in, to where I once was

 

Wandering anywhere

A wall in between

Staring from the bottom

up, to whom I once was

 

Moving somewhere

A bubble all around

Grasping from the inside

out, to what I once was

 

Staying here

A loving arm around

Feeling from the top

down, to why I will be

 

I will still be me.