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Sparhawk

Corp's Movie Reviews

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SHANGHAI KNIGHTS

 

In China the Imperial seal, the symbol of power, has been stole and Chon's father is killed. Now John and Roy are off to England to find Chon's sister (who is hot by the way) and return the the seal. With great action and great laughs this is a very good movie. The characters haven't changed but the jokes aren't old. The only real problems are that the bad guys aren't as full as they could be and music starts playing a number of times. But these are minor issues. Overal if you liked the first one you'll love this one.

 

Best Scene: Fight in the revolving doors

 

Best Line: "That's what I love about China; all your job titles sound kick ass."

 

Rating: See it

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GODS AND GENERALS

 

This movie deals with the early years of the American Civil War. It focuses on General "Stonewall" Jackson from his first battles to his death. Now I had high hopes for this one. Gettisberg (boy spelled that wrong) was very well done. The good points were that the battles were very well done, coming close to making look what it was really like. It also tired to keep history, something almost unheard of in hollywood. The problem was they tried too hard, turning to letters to learn about the people. Problem is that this means there's alot of people making speechs, which gets boring after awhile. Also thought they focused too much on Jackson and not enough on Lee or the Union side. Also had a problem that there seemed to be no slaves in the South. Jackson calls a black man "Mr" and quietly listened to him go on about how evil slavery was. So much for keeping historical. Overal I was disappointed with this.

 

Best Scene: The Irish fighting

 

Best Line: "Grey uniforms...red uniforms...green uniforms...how the hell are we to know who to shoot at?"

 

Rating: Skip it

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S.W.A.T

 

Based on the hit tv show this movie is about an elite unit of police who go about shooting bad guys. The movie focuses on the building of the team and their first mission: to transfer a prisonor who has offered $100 million to whoever can get him out. Things go ok until bag guys start coming out of the floor, lead by a former SWAT man. Now I enjoyed this. There's lots of action, a good story, and for the most part it was believable; although the bad guys seemed a bit heavily armed. Jackson continues being a bad ass and the leader of the new unit, while the others were able to get a good amount of airtime. The problems are minor for the most part. Like are they the only SWAT team in the city? How did the bad guys work together so quickly? And how did the ex-SWAT guy become their leader? However these are minor in a very fun movie.

 

Best Scene: When the bad guys attack

 

Best Line: "Now we see if World's Wildest Police Chases pays off."

 

Rating: See it

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CHICAGO

 

The story takes place during the 20's or 30's in Chicago. It's about a want to be singer who kills a guy. Once she get the right lawyer she becomes famous. Most of this is done in song. Now none of the major character's have been known for singing (that I know of) but all of them do a good job. The movie does a good job showing the corruption of the time and how the media can control and be controled; entertainment is better than the truth. The story is well done and don't have any major holes. The songs are, for the most part, enjoyable although some go abit long. The only thing wrong with it is that it's not my kind of movie.

 

Best Scene: When Roxy adds the baby angle.

 

Best Line: "Ladies and gents...a tap-dance."

 

Rating: See it (Comment from Sparhawk: No I disagree with this rating, I say Avoid it like the plague)

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UNDERWORLD

 

What's better than a movie about vampires? A movie about vampires fighting werewolves! That's the plot for Underworld. The two races have been at war for hundreds of years. After a major battle where the top wolf was killed the vampires have had the upper hand, hunting down the remaining wolves. However this had made the vampire leadership more focused on admin instead of the war. Also our hero, a female vampire soldier, starts to uncover a wolf plan involving a human which could give them the upper hand. This leads her to uncover the true cause of the war and the true strength of the wolves as she falls in love with the human. Now I really enjoyed this movie. It has alot of action with a good story line to go with it. Also the werewolves (who change form without the full moon) look cool. My main beefs are that the wolves seem alittle too evil compared to the vampires. There are also a few plot holes and the aim of some of the wolves are as good as a stormtrooper. Also the last death is abit silly. However these are mostly small problems that don't effect the movie as a whole.

 

Best Scene: Attack on the train.

 

Best Line: "[after questioning] We put [the silver bullets] back in [the werewolves]. (don't you hate lines that need background)

 

Rating: See it! (maybe even buy it)

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ONCE UPON A TIME IN MEXICO

 

Story is that an evil CIA agent goes looking for a mythological gunfighter to help him kill a general. The general is planning to kill the president of Mexico. A bunch of crime bosses are involved as well. However the plot is much more complex than that. The movie was, well, ok. Depp was great as the CIA agent and was perhaps the best character. However I think were are too many characters. Hayak got second billing but only had five lines. Also the plot is deep but at times you don't know who's on what side. Fighting was cool, even if the bad guys can't hit @#%$. Music wasn't that bad either. Overal it was good but could have been abit better.

 

Best Scene: The bull fight

 

Best Line: "I was tortued once. I didn't really enjoy it."

 

Rating: See it

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