cryptomancer Posted November 24, 2004 Report Share Posted November 24, 2004 Tonight I lose my soul to the endlessness I strove too hard to find, and in the finding I lost All that I hold to my mortal heart. I seek the end of this insanity The dividing of my heart But still I move on My path crosses none Save the diminishing threads Of my backtracked wanderings Opening to the wastes of spiritual solitude. Love moves my feet The soul of burning upon my shattered corpse Remains still, for only in death can it depart, And I will not yet give death its will. I see the passage of footfalls, The well of despair The tears of anguish in the night Where the dreams of my longing Find hope, and with frail wings Carry my blackened heart Home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salinye Posted November 24, 2004 Report Share Posted November 24, 2004 Well, raven.... I've been a fan of your poetry since you arrived on our doorstep. I wonder how you can write with such passion in so many different situations without having been through them yourself. Either you've had QUITE the emotional history or you have a true gift for expressing unfelt, yet very real emotion. I really like this poem, I'm sorry that I'm not able to critique this particular piece for improvement, but I can share with you the part that I liked the best. Love moves my feet The soul of burning upon my shattered corpse Remains still, for only in death can it depart, And I will not yet give death its will. I'm not sure entirely why this part stood out to me, but for whatever reason, it did. Kudos to you, my poetic friend. ~Salinye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhapsody Posted November 24, 2004 Report Share Posted November 24, 2004 My path crosses none Save the diminishing threads Of my backtracked wanderings Opening to the wastes of spiritual solitude. Wow. I think my fave phrase was the "diminishing threads of backtracked wandering". Talk about despair! Where the dreams of my longing Find hope, and with frail wings Carry my blackened heart Home. I absolutely love how you end it. And I love the "frail wings" part. The entire poem conjures to my mind an angel who has lost his love. I was really disturbed by the beginning...the loss of the soul part. But bravo! I hope to see more of your work in the future! *Rhaps* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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