Brute Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 This is something I found after a bit of searching in the old Archmage bulletin boards. It details the silly contest in which I gave away ownership of the DEcanter of Endless Booze. (what was I thinking?!?!) Anyway, I wanted to share this and perhaps with the sharing, somehow understand what I was thinking when I awarded it to Wyvern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brute Posted December 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 09:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hullo all. Actually it's not for sale, but rather will be given away to the mage who can best tell me why he/she deserves it. Rules of the contest: 1. One offer per mage. 2. One week to compose your offers. (or close to it) 3. ANy attempts at theft will cause the mage to forfeit the contest. Although, clever and witty attempts, while doomed to fail, may possibly be counted as your one entry. 4. Make me laugh. The winner will recieve the DEcanter of Endless Booze and will be charged with the responsibility of providing for all the unfortunate mages who are without an andless supply of alcohol. The new Owner will find that the Decanter is quite theft-proof, indestructable, and is a nice conversation starter at parties. You, as the new Owner, will be required to periodically create pools of booze for the denizens of Terra to frolick in. In all signatures, the title of Owner of the Decanter of ENdless Booze shall be first and foremost, coming before all other titles. hmm...I think that about covers everything. remember...you only have about one week to get your entries in. everyone is invited to join, even those that do not want the responsibility of Ownership( just mention that in the entry please). Brute, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze IP: Logged Aegon Veteran Posts: 252 Registered: Jun 2000 posted February 01, 2001 10:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brute, I'll join in, owning that Decanter of yours has kinda become an ambition of mine. Well, to tell the truth, I may not be able to join in, you know how Yui feels about me and the Decanter. I don't know what she has against it... I mean, is it really my fault that I get her raving drunk everytime I borrow it ? *grins* She does some fun things when she's drunk, but I can't tell you that here, the Whips and Chains would frighten the Adult Audiance, and the rest is classified.... there are kids around you know !!! Anyhows, if I convince her, my offer will follow shortly. My offer will follow shortly. IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 11:32 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heh,heh...you are most welcome to join in the contest, Aegon! say..did you notice that slthough she deinies after posting, she admitted to being a nymph in another thread in this board? the thread was something like "My push for ownership of the DEcanter.." started by Lumpy. oops. sorry everyone!! I got off topic. Havent seen Aegon in a while and wanted to say hullo. Carry on with the contest!!!!!! Brute, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze IP: Logged Dorin Veteran Posts: 400 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 01, 2001 11:42 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm a dwarf... dwarfs like booze... expecially endless supplies of them... i got reincarnated as an elf... that kinda damaged the dwarven psyche... so much for booze.. as a dwarf i collect artifacts... unfortunately the word "share" isn't hidden in the word "collect".... as an elf i picked up the occupation of a bard... unfortunately, previously being a dwarf makes for "interesting" stories... but other races just don't understand the difference between low-grade and premium quality burlap.... i don't think i am qualified... but it's the thought that counts right? while i'm at it... anyone need any high-grade burlap? IP: Logged Hydrus Veteran Posts: 952 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 12:14 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OOC: Wow, another Dwarf! Funny, how we're all flushed out when someone mentions an endless bottle of Booze. IC: Greetings Brute. I am Hydrus, the Vengful Dwarf. I am an old mage, been round on these here boards fer too long now, i mean, when someone gets a sig as long as mine, you know that theyre either very old, or mad. Or both in my case. I am well known (at least i think i am) on the App boards, where, if you like, you can consider my entry inot this competition, the thread, "Egg and Spoon Race: Incarnate vs Hydrus" That would make, if, in the event i was to win, the ownership partly Inacrnates, whos a good friend of mine. I find this annonying, but hey, he probably would have conned me into sharing it with him anyway. However, if you are not Australian, or not a regular patron of the App boards then a large portion of the 'comedy' there may remain a mystery to you. If you are neither of these things, please tell me, and I'll write something new. ------------------ Hydrus The Vengful Dwarf Scribe of the Book of Grudges 98th Slayer King Baker of Muffins Lover of Bugmans XXXXXXXX Coolest Dwarf around Wears his shorts past his knees Can smash a beer can on his head Owns Expensive Sunglasses Surfs Proud owner of a rather long sig, but not quite nearly as long as P51's. "We're drunk and Grumpy, let's beat the hell out of something!" DSC guild Motto, App HYDRUS "Cheese is your friend, until it tries to kill you." Evil Spoon Wielders, A1 HYDRUS "Squellch Squellch!" Maniacal Psychos of Entropy, Beta. SPLEEN " The only reason some people are still alive is that it's illegal to kill them." "Have you ever attemtpted to be yourself, when everybody wants you to be someone else?" Powderfinger. "I wish the real world would just stop hassiling me!" Matchbox 20 "If you're paying Peanuts you'll get monkeys" Powderfinger Wise man once said, if Pigsy is a Pig, and Sandy is a Fish and Monkey is a monkey, how come they protect a man, whose really a woman? Hah! dwarves have 100% Muffin resistance! "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" Civil War General Kung-Fu Squirrels for ever! IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 12:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THanks for the quick response, Hydrus. Since I dont get a chance to frequent the App boards as much as I would like to, I'm afraid I'll have to request that your entry needs to be unique to this thread. Thanks. Brute, Owner of the DEcanter of Endless Booze IP: Logged Hydrus Veteran Posts: 952 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 12:48 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'll get right on it. ------------------ Hydrus The Vengful Dwarf Scribe of the Book of Grudges 98th Slayer King Baker of Muffins Lover of Bugmans XXXXXXXX Coolest Dwarf around Wears his shorts past his knees Can smash a beer can on his head Owns Expensive Sunglasses Surfs Proud owner of a rather long sig, but not quite nearly as long as P51's. "We're drunk and Grumpy, let's beat the hell out of something!" DSC guild Motto, App HYDRUS "Cheese is your friend, until it tries to kill you." Evil Spoon Wielders, A1 HYDRUS "Squellch Squellch!" Maniacal Psychos of Entropy, Beta. SPLEEN " The only reason some people are still alive is that it's illegal to kill them." "Have you ever attemtpted to be yourself, when everybody wants you to be someone else?" Powderfinger. "I wish the real world would just stop hassiling me!" Matchbox 20 "If you're paying Peanuts you'll get monkeys" Powderfinger Wise man once said, if Pigsy is a Pig, and Sandy is a Fish and Monkey is a monkey, how come they protect a man, whose really a woman? Hah! dwarves have 100% Muffin resistance! "They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" Civil War General Kung-Fu Squirrels for ever! IP: Logged Bead Administrator Posts: 235 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 01, 2001 02:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Um hi, I um think I should get the um holy grail, because um I am a Newbie and I um need all the help I can get, and the sweet taste of the bitter waters of the fountain of youth might um help me figure out how to cast Domininions and um it might help me keep all my um buildings from um disappearing... Bead the Newbie IP: Logged Tyrion Moderator Posts: 1821 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 01, 2001 03:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I have to enter this contest! I really think you should give ME the Decanter of Endless Booze, because I am the only one who knows how to use it correctly. I also promise that I will share the contents of the Decanter with everyone who is worthy of it. I, myself, will not take any of its booze, to leave more to the others. I will also give smaller quantities to anyone under 18, like lumpenproletariat. But then again, maybe he does not deserve any at all, because of the suffering he caused to Tesla with his 14 page thread ( in which I have the most post ). I will conclude by saying how much I admire you Brute (you deserve a capital . Hello Bead, we welcome newbies in AM, and I am pretty sure you are one, because I don't remember seeing your name anywhere. The holy Grail is a VERY useful item, and you get dominions by casting contract of the soul. Dominions can also be recruited if you are lucky. The reason your building disappeared is that you bid in the black market, each time you do, your buildings are destroyed. Have fun! IP: Logged Spartacus of Legion Veteran Posts: 288 Registered: Jan 2001 posted February 01, 2001 03:52 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- hya well I will be writing something, but right now my court artisans and poets are all way to depressed with coming up with anything since I told them that Brute was no more...... Couldn't I borrow it for a while to...gain some inspiration? Sparts IP: Logged Theurgist Veteran Posts: 1351 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 01, 2001 03:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Being too young to legally drink, I must folow a passion of every person under 18- ALCHOHAL CONSUMPTION! So...this isn't exactly something I'd handle irresponsiblly(unless i'm drunk, then what i just said doesn't count). In short, gimme the DEcanter of Endless Booze, so that I may become drunk and help other underage people. IP: Logged dr weir Newbie Posts: 2 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 01, 2001 06:45 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey Brute, I can think of a couple good reasons to let me take ownership of the decanter. -Could you imagine Dr Weir drunk all the time. -What better cure than Alcohol to heal the sick. Bwah ha ha ha. -I could get Cheyenne Drunk and take advantage of her. -I could get Wyvern drunk and kick the Sh@$ out of him for hitting on Cheyenne. --Think of the parties!!! ------------------ Dr Weir IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 01, 2001 09:22 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok, here goes brute (you knew I'd post) Almost immediately brutes call to mages from all around the land, for a very innappropriate, yet popular reason, mages flocked from all Terras for one common goal, brutes decanter. Mumur is through the crowd while people make their applications to brute, who is elevated upon a rather large deck chair (he is also quite obviously drunk). But however, one amongst all these mages stands out, his name is: Billy-Ray, known to his friends as "billah". In amongst the crowd of mages, he is the only one not attireded in Armor and Weapons, but rather; a large brimmed straw hat, an old red tartan shirt, blue over-alls (aka dunagrees {Don't know what in america})with one of the over-shoulder straps broken. He is wearing no footwear, but as all of his race do, has a piece of "chewin' grass" hanging out of his mouth. He had already made a few poor attemps at conversation with surrounding people, failing because of his slurred language, containing such expressions as, "confounded racoons' taking mah vega-tah-bulls" and "dang ol' betsy mah trukk needs a new tarr"(tire). One small elf takes pity on this poor looking fellow and tries to befriend him. A sad look on billys' face when the elf glanced at him told the elf all he needed to know, this man needed a friend. So the elf meandered on in Billys direction, and was shortly standing beside him. "So, why are you here?" The elf asks. Timidly Billy-Ray responds, "well, Ah heard dat dis kind ol' man is giving ah-way a faree al-kohole dee-canter." However, somewhat unfortunatly for Billy, the elf understodd not one word. While the elf was trying to interpret Billy's last speech, a loud crack to left of everyone announced someones arrival, this mystery mage quickly started running through the crowd, and shortly was on the small stage setup in front of brutes' giant lawn chair. Brute struggled to focus on this man, and was tempted to stand up and give him a piece of his mind for interupting the previous "contestant". But, however when he recognised who this person was, he yelled out "go ahead lumpenprolapdancer...or whatever!" So, Lunkajunkainnabunka started his speech. "Well, I think the decanter should be given to me because..." He rattled of a few very good reasons that brute seemed delighted with, unfortunatly for lumpadumpinastump..or whatever, the crowd wasn't as enthusiastic as brute. After yet more displeasing of the crowd by lumpybuttrottengut from his shouts of "Shut it you!" And,"Yeah, your sister said the same thing", Billy-Ray'd had enough, he promptly shouted out very loud "Get 'im Pa!, Its a real chase dis tahm!" Lumpocuppajoe was off as fast as he could be, as he had just witnessed everyone with 20 feet of Billy-Ray, turn to yes, hillbillies. Sadly, they were all totting a pichfork or burning torch. Stealing a quick glance behind him while sprinting away, Lumpaprolickastamp noticed that they were all getting into Billy's old red Ford pickup-"betsy". Lumpoprolateralmedialdorsal picked up the pace, but they had started chanting-"Get 'im, get 'im" in time to the banjo music that was being played by "old pa" sitting on his rocking chair. Lumpabumpachumbawumba was now at full speed, but the alcohol levels in his blood were too high, causing him to quickly slow down, and sit for a little while to gather his thoughts. Billy and his clan were upon quickly as you could say LumpybuttproPatBuchanan-or whatever. After a quiet escape during the ruckus of tartan and pichforks, lumpypotlarry'shat found himslef in a town called hicksville, 20 miles from nowheresville, "ack" he had just realised they had chased him all the way into their hometown, he stood no chance-it was clear. He took an assesment of his attire. After being prodded, poked, repeatedly slashed at, he was now in cut up pants, and had a straw hat stuck to his foot-much to his pleasure, he put the hat on his head, and found himslef fitting right in. He walked into the local tavern, he asked the barkeep for some ale, "Could I please have 1 jug of ale." lumpastumpabluepajama-or whatever's bad luck continued, and one of the locals next to him said "I hasn't seen you before, we don't take kindlah to strangers 'round here." Sensing more beatings on the horizon, he quickly left, and headed back in the direction he hoped was brutes home, to finish his speech for ownership of the decanter, he only hoped he was ion time, and dressed well enough.... Well, thats about all for now, if I think of some more funny stuff, I'll put more in. oh, and you wouldn't want to give it to Hydrus, he's an australian , New Zealanders are much more responsible ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat kleptomaniac of terra Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged V Veteran Posts: 1629 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 02, 2001 12:17 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heard it makes a great kinky item to use at...uhh...nevermind. Need it to summon more nymphs at parties. You only have to spend 10 seconds reading this compared to the others. ------------------ V Spokesman for the intellectually challenged, Tactician for retarded maniacs, Stupidity is universal, Ignorance is bliss, I don't care bout' you. For the last time: Descent of Holy Being summons Dominions. IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 02, 2001 02:40 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Shoot... I haven't been on the ol' boards for AGES. I should find more time to post around here really... But hey, what can I say? I got a reputation to upkeep in the Guild boards you know.... Well, anyway, hi everybody! I'm back on the UBB's! You miss me? (Grins showing a mouth full of rasor sharp teeth.) All at once: NOOOOOOOOO!!! Wyvern: Oh... Y-you didn't? "Shut up you overgrown lizard! Where in the **** is our money?! WE WANT OUR MONEY!!!" Wyvern suddenly remmembers the reason he had previously left the Boards. The enormous "Chicken Noodle" scandal (I would talk about it here, but it's FAR to horrific ). Wyvern tries to flee but alas, it is already to late. The crowd begins hurling spoiled packages of Wyvern brand "Chicken Noodle frickasee" at Wyvern. The packages, whose stale (and cheap) ingredients are hard as a rock, begin crashing into Wyvern. Billy-Ray has a particularly good arm, and hits Wyvern right smack in the face: "Take that ya varmint!". Soon, Wyvern has become buried in his own scandolous enterprise. Satisfied with their revenge, the angry mob leaves. Struggling, a wounded Wyvern makes his way out of the mountain of packages, gasping for air. Wyvern: (gasps) "The weight of the packages is O.K. It's the sickening smell that KILLS me." Anyways, on to business. Yes, this humble lizard would like the Decanter. Errr... I can't think of any reasons I deserve it. How about a couple of reasons I SHOULDN'T get the Decanter? 1) I would use the Decanter to my every advantage! I would forget about the others and focuss on my own needs (laughs evily). Of course, errr..., I'll make pools for the denizens. Or whatever. 2) I would wreck all havoc with the Decanter and use it as the ULTIMATE WEAPON. As I see it, the Decanter has two most powerfull uses. It can be used to flood and enemies terrain, drowning the citizens and destroying crops. It can be also used as a sort of infinite oil flask, as the alcohol is highly ignitable. I would gain SUPREME POWER! THEY SHALL BOW BEFORE ME!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! uhhh.... Of course, I'll share and stuff. Whatever. 3) I would make trillions, no, QUADZILLIONS of geld! I'll be rich I tell you! RICH!! The alcohol business is where all the money's at... uhhhh.... welll... A SCREW IT! Lumpy's probably going to get the damn thing anyway! Brute stares at Wyvern blankly. "Heh heh heh... but Brute, you didn't honestly think I'd give up the Decanter without a back-up plan did you...? I have kidnapped your brother! Give me the Decanter if you want to see him alive!" Wyvern whistles and two Red Dragons fly up into the sky, holding, what appears to be.... Dr. Weir. "You idiots! You got the wrong guy!" Brute stares angrily at Wyvern. "Heheheh... You know Brutesy, I was just kidding about that back-up plan. Uhhhh... (Brute advances steadily towards Wyvern, clenching his fists) got to go!" Wyvern gets the hell out of there. ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. IP: Logged thordain Veteran Posts: 2274 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 02, 2001 08:58 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After long months of warring throughout terra, Armageddon about to begin... Brute turns to his buddy Thordain, "You know man, we've been conquering terra time and time again for the past millenia, and for what end? I mean we kick the snot out of each other in that free-for-all, armageddon, only to die anyway.. spend a couple 100 years in hell, until we get reincarnated to do the same shi* all over again... I am not sure how much longer I can take it." "Hey Brute ol buddy, tell ya what. My uncle has this place in Barbados.. whaddaya say we skip Armageddon this time around, sit on the pink sand beaches, do some deep sea fishing, hit the decanter... take it easy. Just a few buddies and the nymphs." 3 months later.... "Hey Brute, you know I've been thinking it is about time we head back to Terra.." "I dont know man... I kind of like it here. My tan is just becoming permanent, the fishing is good, and I really appreciate the way the nymphs look in bikinis... The only thing holding me to Terra right now, is the responsibility of distributing booze to all those poor mages without an endless supply..." "Well, I will tell you what. I will take care of the decanter for you, make sure the sober mages are few and far between.. and if you ever feel like coming back to terra, well of course the distributing responsibilities are yours once again." "I dont know Thordain. Responsibility of the decanter is a long and hard road... are you sure you are up to it?" "I think so.. this is the way I look at it. Two roads diverged in Terra, And sorry I can not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And look down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black, Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference." -Thordain **everything is original of course IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 02, 2001 01:41 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I fogot to add to the end of my post... All characters are fictional, and any resemblence to real life people is entirely coincidental. ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat kleptomaniac of terra Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Tyrion Moderator Posts: 1821 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 02, 2001 02:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Your story is not good enough, you shouldn't get the Decanter of endless booze. I do not think that both decanters should be united. The second one being lumpen, the decanter of endless stupidity. IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 02, 2001 03:08 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- bah, I don't see your story anywhere elf boy ~ ~. So just take your nasty critisism else where meanwhile ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Tyrion Moderator Posts: 1821 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 02, 2001 04:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Elf Boy? I am older than you are Elf Baby! Why do you keep changing your signature? Mine is so old, I don't even remember what it is anymore. I think the Decanter should be mine, because I am the most responsible mage in ALL of Terra! IP: Logged Glyn Veteran Posts: 203 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 02, 2001 05:03 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I dunno. I think Lumpy should get it, me. IP: Logged Belizean Veteran Posts: 551 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 02, 2001 05:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I will keep this short as a favor to you brute. I don't think I deserve but I do think dr. weir deserves it..... it would be great to see him try to get Cheyenne drunk..... lol! Thats my opinion. IP: Logged Drax Veteran Posts: 622 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 02, 2001 06:47 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- although we all know that i have no chance in whell i am still going to try for this decanter of irresponsiblity aka decanter of endless booze over the past i have encountered many good times with the decanter so i feel(of course)that i am the most deserving of all(who doesn't) and i will uh hmm maybe post my entry later. so hey brute give me a few days and i'll get back to you and PLEASE dont end the competition before i respond i PROMISE i will be good ------------------ In the beginning god said let there be Vodka and said "it is good" next god said let there be light and said "whoa way too much light" (competetor in the quest for the decanter of endless booze) IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 03, 2001 01:31 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- uhhhh.... welll... A SCREW IT! Lumpy's probably going to get the damn thing anyway! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- very good...... quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I dunno. I think Lumpy should get it, me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- see?, how can you argue with stats Tyrion, now I'm going to quote your other post before you delete it. quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originaly posted by Tyrion Tyrion seeing his chance while many a noodle is being thrown quickly steals the decanter off brute and runs away laughing -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- See?, you should be disqualified j/k he didn't post that, just retorting for the fact that he is a midget ya know ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach [This message has been edited by lumpenproletariat (edited February 03, 2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brute Posted December 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Culex Veteran Posts: 3000 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 03, 2001 01:46 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://arch17.magewar.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/000403.html MWAHAHAHAHA! You don't need to buy it if you can steal it! I still don't have my squirrel hero and in this long dead post, I have only 255 posts compared to my 680 posts now. Doesn't this make you laugh, brute I win the decanter ------------------ ____________________________ Culex The Shapeshifter Bane Of Terra Destroyer Of Pillagers Owner Of The Four Elements People can die by FOoD poisoning! White always conquers Darkness! Remember that time when you killed that dominion? He is back! Multi-mages must DIE!!! [This message has been edited by Culex (edited February 03, 2001).] IP: Logged Tyrion Moderator Posts: 1821 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 03, 2001 09:00 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by lumpenproletariat: I am totally irresponsible, and I do not deserve the Decanter of Endless Booze. [/b] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- See? I can do it also. ------------------ Creator of the Dispenser of Infinite Soda, for all of us here under 18. Yes, that includes you, lumpen! IP: Logged Cheyenne Veteran Posts: 510 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 03, 2001 06:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey Brute~ Glad to see the Contest, sad that you have to leave us. Now, to business on hand...Why I should inherit the Decanter of Endless Booze.. 1) I inherited your Title in the Guild. 2)I could get drunk of my own accord without the Doc's groping hands... 3)I could get Doc in the mood to use groping hands without having to shed a single layer of clothing. 3)It would always come in handy if I made a huge error in judgement as the Guild Leader...I could always say, "Brute made me do it, he taught me the evil ways of the Decanter".... 4)I would have all of Terra groveling at my feet not just Doc and Wyvern... 5)I would, of course, throw you a huge going away party! [This message has been edited by Cheyenne (edited February 03, 2001).] IP: Logged Sin Slayer Newbie Posts: 4 Registered: Jan 2001 posted February 03, 2001 08:21 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Too many long replys, My answer is just break the bottle: if it is bottomless, all of the alcohol will comeout when the glass breaks. ****The rest is not important, feel free to ignore it**** During a roleplaying session: "...Ok, Malius just detected a poison in your drinks, if you consume it it will deal 4d4 damage directly to your hp" Dwarf: "Ach' eez stil goot!" GM: "But there is POISON in there!" Dwarf: "Yef, ard ther's alcoho'l a ther to! So whats your point!" *Starts Drinking* BAM! thank god your a dwarf or youed be dead Dwarf: "wha? is a bity li'le booze to hard to take lad!" -in retro spect, (yes, two words) i shulnt a posted dat laddi. Dwarf with booze: Human with same booze: IP: Logged Myrad Dragon Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 03, 2001 08:53 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Go to http://board.archmage.co.kr/ASubbKR/Forum2/HTML/000143.html im not in it for the booze- but if you are looking for laughs, and havent seen theachspace forum go ahead IP: Logged Myrad Dragon Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 03, 2001 09:06 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- actually, how much (in cheese) would you sell your decanter for? IP: Logged Myrad Dragon Newbie Posts: 17 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 03, 2001 09:19 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by brute: I deem Myself the winner, in that I already posses it and do not, infact, need to giveover control to any of you, please stop posting these annoying messages and go back to your daily drinking. Brute, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You guys didnt catch this? he said it a while ago, sheese youz been wasting your time! IP: Logged Gyrfalcon Moderator Posts: 1401 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 03, 2001 11:13 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ouch, now that was evil, Myrad.... now to send you back to your own demension! Gyrfalcon casts Gate on Myrad Dragon, sending him careening back to the universe where Archspace is located, coincidentally landing him in the Nimball game. Note: Brute did not say any such thing, at least on this string. Carry on with your bids and stories. IP: Logged Haruchi Veteran Posts: 506 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 04, 2001 12:20 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Brute, Gimme the Decanter, and I'll send you all the money I save on booze. Yours sincerely, Haruchi. ps On second thought, I'll spend all the money I would have saved on booze on floaties to save from drowning in a pool of booze all the mages who passout in the pools of booze I will leave all over Terra pps I need something to spice up my sig ppps I won't actually buy those floaties, I think drowning in booze is a pretty good way to go. Instead, I will erect a shrine to Booze, and honour you as the original Prophet of Booze. pppps Then again, I think what I'll do is spend all the money I save on Booze to buy up all the Holy Grails, and use the Grails to drink Booze from. That way, someone will finally find a use for the Holy Grail ppppps Ok, I'm done ------------------ "Despair I can live with: it's the hope that kills me." John Cleese, Clockwise [This message has been edited by Haruchi (edited February 04, 2001).] IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 04, 2001 12:41 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Gyrfalcon: Ouch, now that was evil, Myrad.... now to send you back to your own demension! Gyrfalcon casts Gate on Myrad Dragon, sending him careening back to the universe where Archspace is located, coincidentally landing him in the Nimball game. Note: Brute did not say any such thing, at least on this string. Carry on with your bids and stories. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thats all you say? delte his spamming!, oh I forgot, you are the lazy one in the circle of mods ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Culex Veteran Posts: 3000 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 04, 2001 05:22 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- LOL! Gyrfalcon saw a post which was in the BH that belonged to HoS. What did he do? He posted saying: quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Gyrfalcon: This is a HoS post. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But didn't move it at all! Can you get a lazier mod? Post-Script: I forgot the name of the thread. Lumpen help me recall it! You know I have bad memory ------------------ ____________________________ Culex The Shapeshifter Bane Of Terra Destroyer Of Pillagers Owner Of The Four Elements People can die by FOoD poisoning! White always conquers Darkness! Remember that time when you killed that dominion? He is back! Multi-mages must DIE!!! IP: Logged Alamar Veteran Posts: 32 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 04, 2001 06:15 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I believe I should own the one and only, Decanter of Endless Booze...For simple reasons that I will use the decanter to liven up the world by creating new magics. After all, just having beer in pools on the ground isn't much fun...Have living beer, beer elemental (attack type ranged paralyze) would work a lot better and thus would be a lot more fun... ah hell, this ain't ever going to work. Anyways, I own the cool elemental, Elementos! *summons up Elementos, The Cool Elemental, which looks cool* There are so many forces of magic left untapped...deadheads for black...Summon music band for red...hey, when your hot, your hot "I WISH FOR IT!!!!!" *suddenly, the sky darkens as everyone becomes quiet...and the letters IT, 40 feet tall, and made out of stone fall down out of the sky, landing right in front of alamar* Hmm...oops...Well come on? PLEASE?? ------------------ Alamar "Oops...nother wish gone bad." Owner of the Ancient Spell - Summon Cool Elemental, Elementos IP: Logged Racouol Veteran Posts: 392 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 04, 2001 09:45 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Racouol was at home wearing an apron with the words kiss the cook on it and baking is famous muffins. He had his Crystal Ball tuned into TNS (Terra's News Station) listening to the going on in the world. He just started cooking his scrambled dragon eggs. The Crystal ball then turned black and shortly afterwards it started making a beeping noice. *beep,beepbeep,beep* "Hello this is Juno Squat in with this special news story. It seems that Brute, longtime owner of the decenter of endless booze, is now giving the decenter away to the person who gives him the best reason as to why they should have it. Any of those mages that havent heard about this till now should get down as soon as possible to see if they can get this prized item. We now turn to Robyn Swallows. Hello Robyn, are you there?" No one answered. "ahem, it seems that Robyn is not going to give us the rest of the story. This was Juno...." The crystal ball shattered on the floor as Racouol ran passed it. Racouol flew out the door and started running to the other side of the world where the contest was being held. He put the frying pan that was used to make the scrambled dragoneggs, which now littered the floor in Racouol's Kitchen, as a heat shield as he started to run faster than sound and almost reached the sound of light. At the gathering Wyvern turned around and saw a huge fireball headed at the group at a very high speed. "Everybody watch out. All the somewhat important mages turned around and leapt out of the way of the giant fireball while the nonimportant ones, including Robyn Swallows and her crew, were instantly insinerated. The ground then started rumbling as if something moving at a great speed was trying to come to a complete stop. A mountain seemed to start rising out of nowhere in front of the now slowing fireball. Finally the Fireball stopped and was extinguished. Racouol was now standing right infront of the newly created mountain. In his hand was a frying pan that was glowing white. Lumperdipanimegod or whatever started running towards Racouol yelling "You can not have it, It is mine Racoon!!!!!" Racouol started walking towards the contest area and stopped when Lumpytrouserking or whatever reached him. "Well Lumpster, I know you want this badly but I shall win the desenter of endless booze." Lumppatroliamoil or whatever then got enraged by being called Lumpster and jumpped for Racouol's neck with the intent to kill or seriously maim. Racouol simply swung the frying pan and *splat*. Racouol looked at his frying pan and saw that it had enveloped Lumpentroliam or whatever's head. It then dawned on Racouol that the frying pan was so hot that it was half melted and was now solidifying around Lumpster's head. Not wanting to be the bad guy he tried pulling it off Lumpsters face. It was no good, the frying pan had now cooled off to the point where it was now solid. Sighing, Racouol then cast a spell causing the frying pan to get so hot it turned white again and with a slurping sound the fryingpan slid off Lumpentoriams or whatever's now melted face. Racouol then walked up to Brute as started telling the reasons why he should have the decenter. "If I had the Decenter of endless Booze then I would make sure that I would supply it to everyone for free. I would create lakes of booze as you said we had to do but I would also include it in all my cooking." Racouol then pulled out a huge book about 6ft by 6ft by 6ft labled cooking with booze. "I plan on making it so that all the food in Terra as at least a wee bit of an alcahol content in it. I also will see to it that all the mages will be too drunk to fight amongst each other ending all war as we know it. I will use it to bring peice to Terra at last. I even made you a gift." Racouol pulled out a muffin from his pocket and gave it to Brute. "that muffin contains in it the highest quality Ol' Pecuilar that can be found in all of Terra." OOC: Hey Brute I am sorry to see you leave. If you want E-mail me sometime. ------------------ Racouol Father of Darkness The Golden Lord Lord of Nightmares Bearer of Deep Pockets Guildmaster of The Brotherhood of the Night IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 04, 2001 07:28 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- sound of light ay? thats a new one ah, you definitely deserve a second place Racoon. ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 05, 2001 07:00 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Say... If Racouol deserves second place, then does that mean I deserve third...? Lumpenproletariat and Racouol look at each other for a moment. "More like 27th" Oh, by the way, I'm throwing a formal going away party for Brutesy in the Conservatory. The addy is: http://arch17.magewar.com/ubb/Forum36/HTML/000152.html for those who wish to join... ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. IP: Logged Cheyenne Veteran Posts: 510 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 05, 2001 07:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Originally posted by Sin Slayer: My answer is just break the bottle: if it is bottomless, all of the alcohol will comeout when the glass breaks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Just to let you all know, the Decanter, not bottle, glass or any some such, is indestructable (meaning unbreakable) It is also theft proof, spell proof and a helluva good time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brute Posted December 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Drax Veteran Posts: 622 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 05, 2001 09:52 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Unfortunately for all of you who like to read long posts I dont have the time to read or write anything over half a page. Theoretically this should be impossible but because the laws of the universe are interchangable with the rules of all of the famous beverage related sweepstakes, I would like, before anything changes, to annouce that the chances of getting hit by lightning is better than winning the lottery or other such games of chance. For the few of us that have recently been hit by lighning know that swimming in pools of endless booze in the middle of a thunder/lightning storm can be really messy when it involves thousands of floating buckets of moldy cheese that have previously been squirrels. But without further adeu (pronounced A doo[as in dog crap] I would like to submit my forms and join the game: Name: Drax aka ghistelswchlom Race: Elven Sex: Yes please Age: Whatever's legal for drinking booze Other Data: Squirrels, Cows, and Cheese Drax reaches out and grabs a sprite from a pile that appears next to his feet, unscrews the cap and grimices at the "thank you for playing, please try again" message that appears. With a scream he turns and smashes the bottle over brute's head and grabs for the dacanter. All the mages gasp in disbelief as Drax runs away clutching the small bottle shaped object. Drax laughes evilly, turns and smiles at brute "Thank you Brute for so kindly supplying me with this (he indicates the flask) supply of booze. Brute snarls and activates the anti-theft mechanism, located on the flask with a flick of his middle finger, and waits; nothing happens. "You b*stard!"(because of the importance of this post I have edited the content for underage viewing) brute yells "get him guys, he's got the decaner" A rough chase begins, Drax running and dodgeing in, through, and around a suprisingly familiar white gazebo with a vegatable looking matter labeled MindMaster inside, along with a pool of booze. With a sudden start brute realizes something, he turn to the other mages and with a snap of his fingers, they all tumble into a puddle of waste that formed at his feet. . . . . . . pause . . . . . . The mages look up brute has the decanter in his hand "Sorry, I lied, I guess he didn't grap it" Then . . . . . a scream of rage from the gazebo "Aaaauugh!" the white gazebo implodes, sending shards of stone, globs of melted cheese and salad flying in all directions.... Silence. . . .A dirty form falls fro the sky. . .it's Drax, in his left hand he is holding a bottle that looks surprisingly like the decanter but also resembles a pop bottle, his left hand is a crusty blackened fist that slowly opens and the mages watch in facination as a white plastic lid tumbles from his grasp. brute walks over, pics it up, reads it, then laughs. "Thank you for" he says, quoting those dreaded words, "for playing" he continues "please try again." THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: for those of you that exoected a short message; SORRY. . . .I LIED ------------------ In the beginning god said let there be Vodka and said "it is good" next god said let there be light and said "whoa way too much light" (competetor in the quest for the decanter of endless booze) IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 05, 2001 02:40 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A shadowy figure enters from the side of the hall. He moves slowly around listening to all the gripping and complaining. The shouts to Brute to give him or her the Decanter are over whelming. The shadowy figure moves over to Lumpenproletariat. "Well hello Jechum, I was wondering if you'd show up." Jechum looks over at Lumpenproletariat. "So far I think you've got the Decanter in the bag and considering your age, a good place to hide it. The only other good stories so far are from Racouol and Thordain. The others seem to be mostly whining and crying that they should get the Decanter. Though I must admit that Cheyenne did gave a pretty good argument." Jechum looks over at Cheyenne wondering how dangers she would become when her natural beauty is enhanced by the powers of the Decanter. Jechum shudders as if a cold wind passes down his neck weighting the pros and cons of that idea. Jechum again searches the hall looking for some of the more of eloquent writers but sees very few. Jechum's eyes fall upon the self-proclaimed "Newbie" Bead, oh yes, he remembers scrying the Arena Archmage for that name. Jechum recalls Bead being 3928 out of 3928 with only 3 fortresses, and wonders how Bead faired during the Armageddon. Jechum contemplates Thordain's idea of Brute receiving the Decanter upon his return. Yes, now that is an idea! Brute shall remain the "Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze" but the Decanter must remain here in the hall otherwise more people might sober up and leave. The person that receives the Decanter should only receive the title of "Steward of Brute's Decanter of Endless Booze". Thus upon Brute's return, Brute can have the custodian clean up the mess they made. Yes, Yes between the lore of Terra and the Decanter both pulling on him, Brute should return in less then one reset. Now how to sell this idea to Brute…. Oh, yes a funny story, to attempt to win the Decanter for himself. Jechum decides to tell the hall the first time he had sex. I can't say that it's totally original but oh well here it goes. A most lovely lady that I was secretly courting requested me to ask her father for permission to formally court her. She informed me that afterwards she would be willing to give her flower unto me. Not having had a lady's flower before and wanting information, I visited an alchemist sage for advice. The sage was a good old fellow and informed me of the birds and the bees. I divulged to the sage that I was only looking for "a good time". The sage educated me on the fact that my "good time" could lead to her pregnancy not to mention some more deadly consequences. The sage offered to sell me some special potions that should protect me but that I would need one potion before each engagement. Well being the young viral man that I am, I request to buy his entire stock of potions. The sage exclaimed that he had over 50 potions in stock and that I would not need so much in one night. Smiling, I asked him for a little blue pill, that I had heard about on the streets, to go along with those 50 potions. The sage gave me wink and a knowing smile back. He sold me all 50 potions and told me that I needed to take the pill at least one hour before hand. Well the night had come and before knocking on the door I took my little blue pill. My lady opened the door and informed me that we were to dine with her parents in the main hall. Entering the hall I saw her parents for the first time sitting at either end of the table. My lady requested that I sit next to her at the dinning room table. Being the type of man that I am, I offered to say the Dinner Prayer. I bowed my head and started to pray. Ten minutes went by and I prayed, twenty minutes went by and I prayed, thirty minutes went by and I prayed, forty minutes went by and I prayed. My lady glanced at me and informed her parents that I was very religious. When an hour had passed and I was still deep in prayer my lady started to notice a raise in my pants. My lady whispered in my ear "I didn't know you were so religious and that it turned you on to pray" To this I simply replayed, "I didn't know that your father was an alchemist sage." And I prayed! Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 05, 2001).] IP: Logged Ozymandias Veteran Posts: 675 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 05, 2001 03:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ahem. Make way for your founder. The brewer's grain is wonderful- it relaxes the tounge, soothes the soul, and steals away the waking hours. And having an endless supply would be terribly cost effective. Now, for the laughter requirement- Ozymandias whips off his robe, revealing a finely tailored silk blouse and an enormous pair of green and yellow plaid pants. Kicking off his sandals, he reaches behind his back and produces two red clown shoes and a red nose. Donning them, he does a little jig to flamenco music. For a big finish, he leaps into the air, lands doing a split, and kisses a nearby flounder. After taking several bows, he hawks and spits. I hate sushi... ------------------ I am Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair! Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -Benjamin Franklin The Pen is Mightier than the Sword- A1 Elder and Founder [This message has been edited by Ozymandias (edited February 05, 2001).] IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 05, 2001 04:24 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dammit, now no doubt the Rest of tPiMttS will turn up, and Zool with them, and I shall stand no chance, lumpen gets a dark look in his eyes, and starting grinning manically and muttering, sabotage, yes thats the way, sabotage, muahahaha ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Alamar Veteran Posts: 32 Registered: Feb 2001 posted February 05, 2001 04:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alamar listens to all the arguments and talking and the like.. "Hmm, interesting, what gets me is, if the thing is Fooproof, why doesn't people make better foos. I still believe I should have the Decanter...for the time it takes someone to pillage it, for the Decanter should be free, running around, for as long as it keeps getting pillaged by others, it's obvious that there's going to be spillage, as the armies run like hell back to their lands from the ones that realize the armies took it, and that will cause more booze to be all over the place. I think the obvious thing is to remove the enchantments, and allow the decanter to go everywhere, it's just like at movie theatres, whoever needs it the most gets it...any questions?" Alamar hears a clamering from all the random peasants asking "WHATS A MOVIE THEATRE!?!" "Sigh...I forgot what world I was in again...this sucks..." Alamar sighed and leaned against a wall, rummaging thru his spellbook of oddities... ------------------ Alamar "Oops...nother wish gone bad." Owner of the Ancient Spell - Summon Cool Elemental, Elementos IP: Logged RagingGoat Moderator Posts: 1120 Registered: Apr 2000 posted February 05, 2001 04:50 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmmm.... when you put it as tPiMttS it ends up looking vaguely similar to PMS... Do you guys get that joke a lot? RagingGoat IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 05, 2001 11:44 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- not once so far Mr. Goat ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Kleptomaniac of terra A SoB on B2 Member of the Zombie Club Leader of FOoD, and its parent company RTCYSIA on Beta "I've cracked 1500 baby"-Misha "tea spoon for tea cups, table spoon for table cups, dessert spoon for fat chicks"--Some drunk guy I met on the beach IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 06, 2001 04:39 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Since we want to take interesting ways to look at things. I was wondering how you came up with PMS from tPiMttS or more lovingly refered to as "the Pen is Mighter then the Sword" Then it occurred to me by looking at your name Rag-in-Goat…. No, disrespect intended just an interesting way to look at things. Do you get that joke often? Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 06, 2001).] IP: Logged RagingGoat Moderator Posts: 1120 Registered: Apr 2000 posted February 06, 2001 09:52 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heh! Not once so far Mr. Jechum ! I wish your guild the best of luck on a1. Perhaps I'll see you around. Have fun good luck! RagingGoat IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 06, 2001 10:42 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jechum bows deeply to RagingGoat. Jechum quietly states "I don't think that "the Pen is Mightier then the Sword" will be active this reset on A1. Many key guild members are not returning to A1 this reset. We have discussed it on our web page and it seems we will maintain a UBB presence only. As for seeing each other on A1, perhaps, in beginning we may see each other but I fear that it will be to the detriment of my acquired land totals. Fun, I always have fun and the luck I'll need more then you know. I wish the same to you though." Jechum recalls what this string is for and thinks he could use a good swig from the Decanter right about now! Brute are you still suppling mages in need? Most Honorably and Respectfully Jechum Mage of Shadows Crusader of Intelligent Conversations Currently searching for a Guild - A1 The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword-BH Towel Sales Man - "The Intergalactic Highway (reset) is coming so better get your towel now!" [This message has been edited by Jechum (edited February 06, 2001).] IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 06, 2001 01:49 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- From what I read so far, it seems either Aegon or Dr. Weir should get the decanter since it seems they know the full potential of it. However, I do have to put in a vote for myself. So here goes.... Brute, first and foremost, if I do get the decanter, I promise to share its contents with those who know how to use its power to the fullest (i.e. get yourself or someone else drunk). Some of you know what I'm talking about. Second, I'm not a complete stranger to you or the decanter, so you know it'd be going to a friend. Wouldn't you like to know how it's doing from time to time? Anyway, the absolute one reason above all that should make you give me the decanter is... damn... I forgot, but it was good, and you should accept it on principle. ~Jester P.S. brute, is it possible to get access to the new guild forum on b2? I have a mage and would like to offer help there. I'd need the URL as well. IP: Logged Cheyenne Veteran Posts: 510 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 06, 2001 01:55 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- http://pub37.ezboard.com/bsob7550 This is the address to the guild pages for b2, if you would like to apply for membership, take the oath. IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 06, 2001 09:05 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- cheap shameless advertising, a new low Cheye Well, what I don't think most of you realise is, the DEcanter is not only a thing of eternal booze, but it is more importantly a Legacy, it has been wielded by brute for eons, and some of you don't realise that I want to continue the legacy of the Decanter of Endless booze, its brings fame glory, but not as important as the respect that comes from your fellows when you can say,-I own the Decanter. Please consider my words brut ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Leader of FOoD and RTCYSIA Prophet Awisemansaid-"Play without emotions ... Then there should not be something to complain about." IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 07, 2001 03:28 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brute! you thought you could just offer to guve away the Decanter without, telling me about it?! Here is my offer, I deserve the Decanter (now, when your insane enough to give it away.): *I have known you almost from the beginning of the b2 server. When Lord Snoop, Elven, Lady Katharine, Gotrunk, DayStar and the others where still on the chat. *I was (almost) outdrinking you on both the normal chat and the spaniel chat. *You owe me that Decanter because you and everyone else left me alone on that adventure of some fountain on the Mage Knights of Justice Main Hall! All I could do was to put that troll in a sack and kick him once ina while, just to release my anger! *I count you to be one of my closest friends, even though I havent seen you for a while. *starting to get teary eyes* I was one of the first to comment your new guild and reply to your emote. (mkojmh) *I respect you and would even have spanked Cheye if you had asked me. (Dont show this part to her, I am joining the SoB and it wouldnt be a very good thing, if she knew about it.#=o)) *And now I am getting dry on ideas, but there are plenty more reasons left.....I bet you may remember some. Need any more reasons? Kheldon, much more, no less. IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 07, 2001 03:31 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Brute! you thought you could just offer to guve away the Decanter without, telling me about it?! Here is my offer, I deserve the Decanter (now, when your insane enough to give it away.): *I have known you almost from the beginning of the b2 server. When Lord Snoop, Elven, Lady Katharine, Gotrunk, DayStar and the others where still on the chat. *I was (almost) outdrinking you on both the normal chat and the spaniel chat. *You owe me that Decanter because you and everyone else left me alone on that adventure of some fountain on the Mage Knights of Justice Main Hall! All I could do was to put that troll in a sack and kick him once ina while, just to release my anger! *I count you to be one of my closest friends, even though I havent seen you for a while. *starting to get teary eyes* I was one of the first to comment your new guild and reply to your emote. (mkojmh) *I respect you and would even have spanked Cheye if you had asked me. (Dont show this part to her, I am joining the SoB and it wouldnt be a very good thing, if she knew about it.#=o)) *And now I am getting dry on ideas, but there are plenty more reasons left.....I bet you may remember some. Need any more reasons? Kheldon, much more, no less. IP: Logged Yui Temae Veteran Posts: 306 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 07, 2001 11:07 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The young lady in the ebon cloak steps up behind Brute as he sprawls drunkenly in his deckchair, a pad of paper in her hands, and a quill working madly across the surface. Though not her norm, she wears a pair of gold-rimmed spectacles low on her nose, her dark blonde hair curled into a high bun on her head. "Now then, Master Brute, I've been taking extensive notes for you to review if and when you are ever sober enough. I do, after all, know all about the quality of your memory. Thus far, it seems only a few mages have given you any semi-comprehensible arguments for their stewardship of the Decanter. I have the list here for you to view." She flips a page or two and holds the page full of flowing script up in front of Brute's red-nosed face as he makes a weak attempt to focus his alcohol-dulled eyes on the page. After a moment of his blinking at it uncomprehendingly, she sighs and pulls the page back before her. "Perhaps you'll want to look at it later, then..." Yui then turns to Aegon, still standing nearby, though a bit singed from Racouol's entrance. "If you think to get me drunk, again... Well, I've learned! I'm not going to listen to you next time that you tell me that alcohol cures a headache... So you don't need the Decanter, if you could even win it. Hmph!" She then turns with a 'huff', muttering about how it's not her fault that petite people get drunk easily and cursing all raspberry beers and a particular glass of vodka and orange juice... ------------------ @-/--- Yui-chan Student of the Kendricke School of Mile-long Posts The one who stole Aegon from AoD The last survivor of the Hall of Justice NOT a Nymph!! IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 12:15 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry this is not relevant to the true discussion, but I have to know something. "Wee", what do you mean you're the last survivor of HoJ? Last I checked, I'm still alive and somewhat around Sorry about that ppl, just seemed odd to me. ~Jester, not the last survivor of HoJ IP: Logged ~O~ Veteran Posts: 724 Registered: Nov 2001 posted February 07, 2001 09:00 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jester! I used to be in HoJ, too. Detritus the Red, here. IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 10:22 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- GAH!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely humbled by all of the entries, and to be honest, absolutely drunk by the time I read them all. Man!! this is gonna be hard for me to do... Brute stands rather shakily from his lawn chair that sits sprawled in the center of the gazebo and makes his way over to inspect the contestants. Ok..tell you guys what I'm gonna do..*hic* furst of all..I want theshe mages ta step forward. Whoa! not all of ya. wait..that's jush me. umm..oh, yeah. When I call yer name, come forward and prepare to give me one last request for the Ownership. Osh..Oszm..Oshyman..You! *Brute points at Ozymandias and nods his head with grin* Kheldon..buddy of mine..I've known you practically forever, huh? You should get a shot too. Lumpy..whatever. C'mere. Thish is the last time, then you'll hush, ok? Wvryen...did I shpell it right thish time? Brute stumbles a bit, takes another monstrous gulp from the DEcanter, then continues. Umm..who else...oh, yeah. Racoououol..heh,heh..thatsh fun ta say...Racououol. Dracks. you're certainly persistant. you get another shot. *At this point, chaos breaks out. All the mages begin to argue that Brute was simply changing the rules to avoid choosing someone. Other accusations mentioned lies about the nature of the contest and a horrible injustice on everyone's poor hopes. Brute plopped down in his lawn chair, which creaked and groaned loudly, and tried to focus his eyes on the cause of the uproar. From his side, Aegon quietly said to Brute," This is gettin gyou nowhere, my friend. Allow me to gain Ownership and then you may simply get drunk without worrying anymore." Before he could acknowdge the wisdom of Aegon's astute observations and succeed ownership to Aegon, Brute glanced over to Yui and saw her roll her eyes at the two conspirators. With a smile, Brute told Aegon, "Sorry. Yui said no." Once more, Brute stood on his wobbily legs. He held his arms up to indicate silence from the crowd. After several moments, most of the would-be Owners began to settle down somewhat. "Ok..fine. I'll announce the winner." Brute took another huge swig from the Decanter, then sat back down. "First, I'd like to say thanks to a few folks that gave me a smile and a few cheap laughs." "Bead...loved the whole newbie thing. Thanks for posting in here. I'm humbled." Sin Slayer.. heh,heh... Haruchi...Thank you for your entry. I enjoyed it and will most likely adopt the title Prophet of Booze. Dr. Weir, Cheyenne...you two have VERY convincing arguements, but I think most of what was mentioned occurs with or without the booze. Drax...nice try...you certainly get points for persistance. Jechum..thank you for your entry as well. Oz..I would have liked to hear more from ya, as I'm sure that you would've taken the title if you only had a bit more in there. Oh, well...I'm sure the new Owner will be quite friendly with the DEcanter. *it suddenly occurs to Brute that he's rambling and trying to stall, but the mages are getting weary of his game.* "Dammit! who gets it????" they shout. "ok,ok!.. Lumpy, Wyvern and Racouol..you three were the top choices." Everyone holds their breath as Brute closely inspects the three. Silence reigns over the gathering as all wait for the decision. Wyvern, Racouol, and Lumpy hear a faint chant as Brute silently mouths something to himself. "What's he saying?" Asks Wyvern. "I dunno," replies Racouol. Lumpy turns his head to hear better. "I'm not sure, but I think it's 'eenie, meenie, miny, moe'. Racouol looks at Brutes finger and sees that it is barley moving as he finishes the chanting. Brute's finger points to..... Wyvern. With a tear in his eye, Brute hands the Decanter to Wyvern and announces to the contestants that "the Over-grown Lizard gets it!" Take care of my baby, Wyvern. Brute says a few words of power, and the ownership of the wonderous Decanter of Endless Booze is transferred to Wyvern. Umm..so. Make a lake already. Brute, Prophet of Booze IP: Logged brute Veteran Posts: 216 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 07, 2001 10:27 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How could I forget???? THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR ENTERING MY CONTEST!!!!!!!!!! I enjoyed each post. Those who wish to email me, but do not have the address..it's Brute@thevortex. drop a line or two. I'll return. Brute, Prophet of Booze [This message has been edited by brute (edited February 07, 2001).] IP: Logged lumpenproletariat Veteran Posts: 2794 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 08, 2001 01:36 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Sniffs* Well, even though he didn't technically enter, I bow before you new God of booze wveryn ( ) *shakes Wyverns hand* Congrats *briefly wonders wheter he did actually say..eni meni..., and shrugs, walks off, disapointed* ------------------ -Lumpenproletariat Leader of FOoD and RTCYSIA Prophet Awisemansaid-"Play without emotions ... Then there should not be something to complain about." IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 08, 2001 05:37 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (sniffs, wiping a tear from his dragonic brow) I must say Brute, that I am absolutely HONORED to have recieved this Decanter. I promise you, I will use it to it's fullest extent! I, as well as all of us, will always remember you as one of the great Archmage posters (and some of us as a great leader ). Before I begin changing my sig and start plotting numerous tales concerning the Decanter, I would like to send out a few words of thanks. I would like to sincerely thank Racouol, Cheyenne, and Lumpy: without whose brilliant writing styles and constant support Archmage would be a strange and empty place. I highly admire all three of you. Keep up the good work! I would also like to thank all of those who posted here and participated in the hopes of getting the Decanter. You have to understand that the enormous amount of participation on your behalfs really did mean a lot to Brutesy, and I'm sure they made his retirement a happy one; full of joyous laughter and endless smiles. If you have time, you can all come and participate in Brute's going away party which I am hosting. It is located in the Conservatory-Stories section. I expect to see all of you there! Free alcohol for everybody! Having said that, I would just like to once again say that I am truly honored by your decision Brute. I will not forget this act of generous donation. Thank you. ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. IP: Logged Jechum Veteran Posts: 179 Registered: Dec 2000 posted February 08, 2001 06:55 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jechum goes over his notes and checks them twice…. Jechum at the bottom of them he makes a note that next time, if there is a next time, become a backwoods clown getting hit with chicken soup. "Congratulations Wyvern!" Jechum wonders where and when Wyvern, Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze will create his first pool. IP: Logged Jester Newbie Posts: 15 Registered: Mar 2000 posted February 08, 2001 09:29 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- First of all, congrats to Wyvern on his new acquisition. Second, hey Det!!! How've you been? I'll drop you a line on AIM if I see you on. I have a new screen name there, but you'll know it's me. ~Jester IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 09, 2001 02:40 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Congrats Wyvern, now give me a drink! IP: Logged Wyvern Veteran Posts: 732 Registered: Jul 2000 posted February 09, 2001 07:06 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How much will you pay me? Just kidding! (pours Kheldon some booze) ------------------ Wyvern ...almost a dragon. Proud Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. IP: Logged Yui Temae Veteran Posts: 306 Registered: Oct 2000 posted February 09, 2001 10:18 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yui wanders over to Jester in the aftermath of Brute's announcement, tossing the spectacles (which were just for effect, anyway) over her shoulder. She doesn't notice the pained Yeowch! from the unfortunate mage to get a pair of spectacles bounced off his head. She grins at her old friend, stepping up beside him and Detritus. "It's been a while, Jester. I must apologize for the signature, it is getting a bit old, now that so many of the once-faces of the Hall are back. I shall take great pleasure in changing it." She then glances between the two and smiles. "You'll never guess just how many of our old friends are back in this new Age of Terra. I should love to have a chance to speak about it, but for now I need to go console Aegon on his loss." She leans close and whispers. "I think he's taking it a bit hard. If you'll excuse me, gentlemen." Yui smiles and bows her head a bit in parting and turns, disappearing into the crowd. ------------------ @-/--- Yui-chan Student of the Kendricke School of Mile-long Posts The one who stole Aegon from AoD ... and then got stolen by AoD Forever a mage of the Hall of Justice NOT a Nymph!! Intending to have a real signature, one of these days... [This message has been edited by Yui Temae (edited February 09, 2001).] IP: Logged Kheldon Veteran Posts: 139 Registered: Sep 2000 posted February 09, 2001 10:54 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Drinks up his share of the booze* Are you a nymph, Yui? IP: Logged Drax Veteran Posts: 622 Registered: Nov 2000 posted February 09, 2001 11:21 AM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- out of respect for brute i congratulate you for winning instead of kicking your @ss may your days be long and drunken hehe laterz i must off but before i leave, hand over some of that brew and fill up my gnomishthingthatallowstheholdertheconsumatelargeamountsof..... aw screw it just fill my mug and ill be off ------------------ In the beginning god said let there be Vodka and said "it is good" next god said let there be light and said "whoa way too much light" (competetor in the quest for the decanter of endless booze) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brute Posted December 3, 2003 Author Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Eenie, meenie, miny, moe?????? somebody shoot me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yui-chan Posted December 3, 2003 Report Share Posted December 3, 2003 Brute! I'm so glad that you found this and brought it here. I remember those long-ago days and laughing so hard at everyone's entries. Time flies when you're having fun, doesn't it? Anyway, so when are you going to reclaim the Decanter from Wyvern? He's only abused it a handful of times (which is admirable restraint, considering who we're talking about), but aren't you getting a little too dried out without your infinite supply? Yours, ~Yui Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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