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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Kingdom for Serenity


Thinas

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This is an angst poem I wrote during the night from thursday to friday. I was sleeping over at a friend's house, and the words came to me just after I'd crashed on his bed. I got up and typed it into his computer. I normally try to refrain from writing angst, because the genre is so popular already that it's difficult to produce something that sticks out, so if you feel it's just another addition to the masses...you're likely right. ;) As always, I welcome constructive criticism with open arms.

 

Kingdom for Serenity

 

It’s the story of my life

From womb to now, isn’t it nice?

It’s the story of diplomacy and its glorious ways

It feels good, it feels right, but I assure you, right back it pays

 

I fled conflict from day one

Said lots concerning others, about me none

To people when needed, I’ve brought reflection

But they’ve always missed my impenetrable shell of protection

 

A gifted few noticed, felt

They know it’s there, brief scent smelt

Deep, a maze of emotion and thought. To me, it’s a pit

I wish someone would know, figure it out, understand my shit

 

But that person doesn’t exist

The door has too many locks, I cowardly persist

I need to be destroyed. Thoroughly. Screwed up really well

So I can rise from the ashes anew, Bird Phoenix, and seek out my L

 

Fake symbols of power

Sheep in Wolf’s clothing, tremble and cower

Some day, I’ll show what I stand for, reveal my mind

Unravel its mysteries, burn the curtain. Truth. Dignity. Wonders to find.

 

Until then, I’m just that man

Whose back carries you when you can’t stand

Be careful though, I’m built on pillars of rotting wood

It’s dark. But it’s there…Painted on my face, in the shadows of the hood

 

I want to break down in rage!

No diplomacy, no mercy, sick of being the sage!

You have no real idea what I’ve witnessed, what I’ve seen

All I can tell you is avoid it. Show yourself. It sucks to be the man in between

 

Jesus. The system tray says 4:09am, and look what I’ve written.

I want you to search. The meaning is there, but as always, it’s hidden.

 

My Kingdom for Serenity.

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This is better than you gave us to think it was :). I think that in the first couple stanzas you're shifting word order for the rhyme and it shows, but otherwise I'd say rhyme supports your poem nicely. I like the circling back that you achieve by your references to diplomacy and politeness at the beginning and end.

Btw, wonderful title.

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Thank you, both of you. :P

 

I'm not sure I know what Gwai means by shifting word order for rhyme, though...Each line was made in an attempt to rhyme with the next. I looked it over to see if I made a bobo and switched somewhere so one line rhymed with the second next or something, but I couldn't find that anywhere, so that makes me curious. :)

 

Thanks for the comments,

 

Thinas

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