Tavarilyn

And, I'm back... at least for a short while. Here's #12.... #12 Home burning bridges never felt as sweet as it does with you. to replace that would be a sin - but - I'd think about it if it meant never being questioned again. never again loathing tearing at my breast. making me hate you, hate me, wanting nothing more than love, love to rescue me... from home.

Thanks Snyp! Missed you guys, too. I guess we'll see what comes out of my brain next, eh?

*peeks in, trying to sneak by unnoticed* Well. Five years. Talk about a hiatus! I suppose this challenge is very very inactive by now, but maybe I'll keep going, nevertheless... I think I left off on #8. Here are three more. Maybe I can make up for lost time in bulk. #9 Haunted I miss the scent of newness, The ache of growth, Where passion meets reality Where adolescence folds into adultery The twisting of like minds, like bodies, Twisting around taboos Celebrated at every turn by bodies born of lust. I miss the scent of night, The pain of smiling, At every little thing, At the essence of debauchery The forging of new bonds, new loves, Forging old hopes Into daydream fantasies of bodies born by faith. #10 yadretsey time rolled backwards yesterday, tick-ticking the milliseconds slowly, turning off the tumultuous torrent, taming the lies, the loves, tempering the deepest wishes, terminating the turmoil tenderly, tendering resignation, til time stood still... and we breathe again. #11 Hearthburn There's not enough medication To undo the alcohol cravings To pacify my longings To make me forget you I have only tears Where joy was Pathetic whispers of loss Need buried deep in the marrow of my soul A lodestone pulls me toward ruin As I waste a way to nothingness Dreaming of what could have been Of what will never be. Thanks for reading, folks. Life is, as always, a constant source of inspiration. Not always positive inspiration, but inspiration nonetheless. Until later... ~Tava

Thanks, Ozy... I've been writing more lately. Slowly, I'm regaining the impetus to write and post. As always, I'm glad to hear my poetry is evocative. (waves) Glad to be back!

(waves) Howdy all! I don't know if anyone here remembers me but I dusted off my poet's hat again lately and thought I'd pop by. Life has been as crazy as it ever was and that's provided a wealth of inspiration... ~ Tav _______________________________ 1) Broked Twisted and broken, beaten down. Tired and lost, about to drown. Sandpaper retinas from too many tears, Too many rationales over the years. Burnt and bruised left alone. Hate and loved, chilled to the bone. Heartbeat crushed from too many lies, Too many emotions behind the eyes. Up and down, turned around. Past and future buried underground. Torn apart from too much hurt, Too many kicks into the dirt. 2) inspired heaped vodka tumble of auburn hair and helplessness, caught, calmly collected by patient hands with turbulent depths, maelstrom, underneath a ten day stay of placidity impaled on reality, recalling whispers in the dark. our poetry goes no where, my heart stillborn on a Sunday mourning, so tentative the details flow, stuttering through a beginning that cannot be, but in dreams see succor and smile at dark eyes beneath the brim, recalling turns of phrase in the light.

back in the saddle again? ... unsure. the verdict on life is a hung jury. i'm sure there's prose in there, but here's another poem instead.... ~tav ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ serendipity like every forward, every dedication, in every book i've ever read choke, how cliche, on the tears, memories, you and i too many short lines, not enough prose, god, please answer my calls, my emails, i love you you love her

#7... Haven't posted much lately; feelin' a lil low... ~Tav ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ life in B minor the antidepressants always pressing in destroy the bounds of my graph asymptotic poison to the wallet, to the mind supposedly natural depression cost a pretty penny to fix fixed me fixed my wallet wrapping oblivion all shiny static against the wooly walls no highs no lows stuck on the median stuck on the mean steadily realizing how average life spans wane and wax to the tune of pharmaceuticals but so over the drug my not-now drug despising all drugs despising myself rising above the normal curve yet wondering about a prescription alcohol plan cursing forward thinking ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#6... this was an in-between-er... ~Tav ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ tired I used t'think depression was.. a time of day thing. But tears are like sweat, showin' up when the hard work's done. You rethink, rework, but life's still the same. An' I turn to my girl, Honey... You love me? I love you, mama... Good, good. Cause your life's gonna change come t'morrow. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

lo. i'm low, barren, bereft, into the cleft. dye. i'm dying, warp, weft, into a soul bereft. there. i'm theirs, culled, cult, into the rift.

Just one of those nights. Lyrical, hopefully still poetic. ~Tav ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ bending flex me this way and that watch watch as i fold against your will against my will yet.... want i want, desire even need i need, hate even toss me this way and that turn turn as i bleed against your will against my will yet... hate i hate, loathe even love i love, desire even fling me this way and that burn burn as i laugh against your will against my will yet... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Echoing like bats hunting in my cranium" .... spectacular image. I feel your pain. "That familiar, empty feeling presided, mixed With that other familiar friend; self-contempt" .... somewhat weighty in the wording and I feel a more concise version might be in order, but I enjoy your line breaks. Something about the way they play with eachother puts the right tone together. "An hour of frantic searching later And boarding the tram in defeat I was still roaming But no one picked up on it As I faced the loss of the world By myself, utterly." .... perfect. Roaming. Such an excellent double entendre. And the ending, "utterly", is exactly timed. While revamping of some timing/verbage might be in order to improve overall flow, your message transmits intact. Nicely done, Tav

A reply, and in poetic verse/form no less (intentional?). -smiles- Trust me when I say I understand the imposition of life on the creative. You've got an impressive body of work here. I'm on #5 and you're in the upper decades already. -chuckles- So it goes, yes? I look forward to more. I see an insight in your work and I like it. Your unconventional view of the conventional is refreshing. ..... and thanks for the comments left for me .... much appreciated. Short stories? I look forward to a prose version of your poetry. Blessings of creativity and inspiration to you, Tav

Quick and dirty... a lil more narrative this time, but no less introspective. Thank you for all the comments and patience and such. :} ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ interim i haven't thought about you for days except when motorcycles ripped up the road at eight when the doctor called in anger at nine when lawyers wrote the custody papers at ten when the internet spread your news at eleven when our daughter had her birthday at twelve when i had my breakdown at ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks all! So many kind words and I've not even had a chance to leave comments for anyone else. -blush- Many apologies; I've been absent a few days. Life did it's "thing" again. Always gettin' in the way... suffice to say, the rest of this week is going to be eventful? -sighs- We'll see if I can dredge anything out of my brain. ~Tav

#3: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ bottom of the bottle the light dims as black, bleak, brittle ripples muzzy fuzziness in the distortion of life's cracks shallow breaths concuss, reverberate from their pressures the earthquake shudders pain-wracked limbs, lips, loves slide out of space-time into the gravity well well before the walls collapse, implode from their lips the lucid thoughts dip, dive, drown out of reach of hands grasping in and out and in and out through wall-eyed glass only the tableau remains from their fists ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~