Loki Wyrd

Thanks for the comment. I'm not sure if a more gentle and happy muse would work for me. I suppose only time shall tell. As for the raw talent...well, I'm working on developing it. I don't know if it would be a good thing to do so, I think too much sometimes, and that spoils things for me.

I like it. I don't mind it being one chunk myself, I'm used to reading lyrics, and that's how I read this basically.

Welcome aboard, keep up the good work. Don't mind me, I never offer any helpful suggestions. But I can be very good at patting people on the back if I feel they deserve it.

I find myself

Feeding my soul to the beast

It is not something from which I can run

Nor will it be appeased

It dwells within me,

In the depths of my mind

Playing with my doubts and fears,

Growing bolder all the time

...

I do not hurt,

Though my soul cries out in agony

I do not feel,

Though emotions swell within me

I find myself in darkness

Even in the light of day

An aura from within

One that's here to stay

...

I am but a puppet

Led on by my strings

Pulled by the beast of mine

And deeper, darker things

I've been thinking about writing. It seems like the two most inspirational things to a writer are love and tragedy. I think part of me would like to make a tragedy of myself...

mwuahahaha

Is there any water around here? Laughing maniacally makes me very thirsty.

Oh yeah....and where's my rejection notice already?

Right, right. I like it for the first part. So I suppose it woud make sense to have it for the second part as well.

Disturbing all around.

What/where is the critic's corner? Maybe a member's only thing? I'm not a member, I'm afraid.

I was right in my prediction that I would get good and f'd up, and write something else. It's good to know that I know myself.

I agree about the double wake thing. It's just I could not find anything that would fit so well. I'm sure if I would have given it much thought I could have, but I try not to think too much...

As for your waking up and thinking of the same thing...just remember, I know how to remedy such...

*pulls out his scalpel*

I'll stop writing what's in your mind if you let me take it out.

I was told to trust you

That you would know what's right

You said that you would help me,

And that I should not fight

I did as you wanted

Even though I thought it wrong

Crying through the nights

Fearful of the dawn

What was it I have done?

Tell me, was I bad?

Why am I being punished?

Have I made you mad?

Having nightmares when I slept

Worse dreams when awake

Feeling sick all the time

Hoping I would never wake

I was supposed to trust you

Even though you had not earned it

I once had a childhood

You took it and you burned it

Woohoo!

*rides his lil fuzzy purple giraffe around the room*

Congrats! Time to break out the liquor, or am I too late?

Where to begin? First off, I don't feel I was really discussing being physically alone in this writing. For me it was something deeper...being alone mentally, within society (if that makes any sense). Also, I don't believe this to be an angry piece at all...the overlying emotion I felt when writing this was longing. I do admit to being in a perpetual state of confusion, but I would not have it any other way. For in confusion one is more apt to observe and think things through more thoroughly than they would if they felt they knew what was going on. Also, I wasn't trying to express anything about what I saw in the mirror, I was not concerning myself with such things.

One of the things I love about writing, is that it can mean something different to every reader. It's not that anyone is wrong, simply that everyone sees things differently, and all our minds work in different manners. Hmm...possibly something I discussed in this poem? I'll leave that to you decided, I've already said too much. =)

I think my problem with it is that I just don't like so many lines with so few words; at least in this case. It just seems to me like you're trying to stretch it out too much. I don't really know anything about style, but that's just my personal opinion. I wanted to make a constructive comment for a change, hope it helps.

Well I'm afraid I'm useless when it comes to suggestions. However, I did enjoy it. You should try writing that way more often. You never know what you may end up with.

Greetings mate. Good luck, and either way, keep on writing!

Thanks for your comment! That's what I'm mainly here for. Not for any acceptance, because to be quite frank with you, I'm not a very acceptable individual. :-D

The beginning and the end are here

Joining together to become whole

It is too late for regret,

And too early for sorrow

There can only be silence…

Spiraling off into the darkness of space

Echoing eternally throughout the stars

A moment of joy,

And a moment of loss

Interwoven within the workings of the unknown,

The unexplored realms

The light is blinding

Unnerving to the darkness

That which would envelop you

That which is necessary

An unconditional friend and lover

One that would have you as you are

And have all of you

Hide you from the light

That shines brightly in your eyes

Letting you know that you are alive

Taking you by the hand

Guiding you to the water,

Where the river flows without end

You sip deeply,

Drinking your fill

Only to find you thirst for more

Drinking more deeply now

Swelling as you find your thirst grow

It is a vicious circle in which you find yourself

You feel the water from which you’ve drank so greedily

It wishes to escape

To return to its kin

Until suddenly…

You burst,

Overfilled with water

Spilling forth into the river

Only to be carried downstream

Out of sight

Hehe, nice illusions of grandeur.

I wish a friend would write something for me sometime. I supposed I'd have to go about making them first. I hear wood works well, unless you're into the more animated sort...

Hmm...I'm not sure if I like it or not. :-\ *shrugs*

But I hear tendrils go well with noodles, and I'm feeling rather hungry just about now...

Congrats!

Nicely done btw.

I'm not your friend! Mwuahaha. Really...I'm not.

Hey, but I bet I could walk to where you live quicker than any of these other individuals.

One more thing...since no one seems to show any desire to comment about this poem I wrote the other day, I will. I found reading this to be quite interesting...though at some points the author leaves me scratching my head about what he is truly trying to say. But in fact, this is the beauty in the piece. For in searching out a meaning to the words I have found that I connect with the author in a way I never thought possible. Splendid work!

*pats himself on the back*